Sunday, June 24, 2012

Paws & Claws ~ June 24, 2012 ~ MILLION-DOLLAR DEAL DAY


I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain:
On the left side, there is nothing right
and
On the right side, there is nothing left.
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2012 June 17
See Explanation.  Clicking on the picture will download  the highest resolution version available.
Jupiter's Rings Revealed
Image Credit: M. Belton (NOAO), J. Burns (Cornell) et al., Galileo Project, JPL, NASA
Explanation: Why does Jupiter have rings? Jupiter's rings were discovered in 1979 by the passing Voyager 1 spacecraft, but their origin was a mystery. Data from the Galileo spacecraft that orbited Jupiter from 1995 to 2003 later confirmed that these rings were created by meteoroid impacts on small nearby moons. As a small meteoroid strikes tiny Adrastea, for example, it will bore into the moon, vaporize, and explode dirt and dust off into a Jovian orbit. Pictured above is an eclipse of the Sun by Jupiter, as viewed from Galileo. Small dust particles high in Jupiter's atmosphere, as well as the dust particles that compose the rings, can be seen by reflected sunlight.
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The View from the Top
The View from the Top
There have been many images of the full disc of Earth from space—a view often referred to as “the Blue Marble”—but few have looked quite like this. Using natural-color images from the Visible/Infrared Imaging Radiometer Suite (VIIRS) on the recently launched Suomi-NPP satellite, a NASA scientist has compiled a new view showing the Arctic and high latitudes.
Ocean scientist Norman Kuring of NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center pieced together this composite image of Europe, Asia, North Africa, and the entire Arctic. It was compiled from 15 satellite passes made by Suomi-NPP on May 26, 2012. The spacecraft circles the Earth from pole to pole at an altitude of 824 kilometers (512 miles), so it takes multiple passes to gather enough data to show an entire hemisphere without gaps in the view.
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Sunday, June 24, 2012MILLION-DOLLAR DEAL DAY
On this day in 1916, the most lucrative movie contract to the time (and for a long time to come) was signed by actress Mary Pickford. She inked the first seven-figure Hollywood deal. Pickford would get $250,000 per film with a guaranteed minimum of $10,000 a week against half of the profits, including bonuses and the right of approval of all creative aspects of her films. It cost $1,040,000 and two years of movie making for Adolph Zukor at Paramount Pictures.
Mary Pickford was the subject of many Hollywood firsts other than this million-dollar deal. She was Hollywood’s first bankable name, commanding a star-status salary of $275 a week as early as 1911, and $500 a week in 1913 when producer B.P. Schulberg named her America’s sweetheart.
Her signature curls were the first film fashion fad. (After the million-dollar deal, she had more curls added by makeup artist George Westmore, who used hair from Big Suzy’s French Whorehouse’s ladies of the evening.)
Pickford starred in the first screen play (The New York Hat) written by now-famous playwright Anita Loos. And, along with Norma and Constance Talmadge and her husband, Douglas Fairbanks, Mary was the first to leave footprints in the cement fronting Hollywood’s Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. She was also one of the first women in Hollywood to gain control over her own movies, forming her own production company, United Artists, with Douglas Fairbanks, D.W. Griffith and Charlie Chaplin. Mary Pickford sold her stock in United Artists in 1956.
America’s sweetheart won her first Oscar for Coquette [1928-29]. In 1975 she received a special Academy Award recognizing her legacy to the world of film.
Not a bad deal for the former vaudeville and stage actress, who once appeared on Broadway with Cecil B. DeMille in The Warrens of Virginia for a measly $25 a week.
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The Perfect Girl"
A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married.

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl...once. I guess she was the one perfect girl...the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything..I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man," he said.

This is Rex Barker reminding you that none of us are perfect, so it is counter-productive to look for someone who is. What we should be looking for in a marriage is where each person elevates the other to reach his or her true potential. This happens when you love each other, respect one another, share common values and inspire each other.
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Baby Grevy's Zebra - Cincinnati Zoo
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Beach Fun
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In case you wondered, Father’s Day is to thank Dad for nailing your mother.
Mother’s Day is to thank Mum for not swallowing you.
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I guess you could honestly say that the man you are about to read about is a real nut. Thomas Hatfield, 30, of Ohio is a felon who has previous convictions for aggravated riot and attempted aggravated arson from 1997.

Because of these convictions he must live with certain restrictions, one of these being he cannot be in possession of any firearms. That apparently is one he had a hard time sticking to, considering the weapons he was found with.

However, the Ohio judge who heard his case said he likely will not jail Hatfield whose firearm possession violation cost the man a testicle.

Hatfield pleaded guilty in Cincinnati to being a felon with a firearm after he accidentally shot off one of his own testicles with a .38-caliber semiautomatic handgun.

Police said Hatfield was also in possession of a single-shot 12-gauge shotgun.

"Because you injured yourself, that's kind of bad enough right there, so I'll consider probation," Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Robert Ruehlman told Hatfield after his guilty plea.

"Obviously," the judge told Hatfield, "you don't know a whole lot about firearms. You need to read the directions."

That's good advice to a man who is not even legally allowed to be in possession of one!
Ahhhh ~ another one-horned bull
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It’s a deal that has worked throughout human history: Your parents take care of you when you are little and you return the favor when they are old.
But sometimes the usual arrangement is turned on its head.
Maria Garcia is 87 years old. After a rich and rewarding life, she is now suffering from dementia. The person she depends on more than anyone else in the world… is her mother.
Her mother, Rosario Schielzeth, turned 104 this week. Her daughter had to be reminded every few minutes who the birthday balloons were for. And Rosario didn’t mind answering, every time.
“She has the patience of a saint,” says Maria’s son and Rosario’s grandson, Albert Garcia.
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[After the Battle of Belmont,] Grant went into a cabin and lay down on a sofa to rest, but he was there only a moment. He got up almost immediately to see what was happening on deck. As he rose a musket ball cut cleanly through the boat’s wooden side and splintered the head of the sofa where he had been lying. And still we waste ink and paper in trying to prove that there is no such thing as luck!
– W.E. Woodward, Meet General Grant, 1928
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The money went flying in the air
Barry Eastwood went to the bank to withdraw £1000 to pay for his car insurance when he tripped and fell. The money blew out of his hand and he managed to hold on to only £60.
A bunch of teenagers and young people rushed for the money ... and then this happened:
The grandfather of 13, said: 'The money went flying in the air. I saw all these young lads started grabbing the notes and I thought I’ve got no chance here. 'But they brought it all back back - I couldn’t believe it! They were jumping up and catching the notes - it’s a shame no one had a camera. 'There must have been about 20 lads - they were all young lads. I ended up with all the money back bar £20.'
Pamela Owen of The Daily Mail has the story that will reaffirm your belief in humanity: Link
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A wonderful animated video featuring the 5th grade class at Kingsley Montessori School in Boston performing “Particle Man” by They Might Be Giants for their Spring Concert.
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What Happens Inside the City
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The Best Tall Buildings of 2012
Al Bahar towers in Abu Dhabi won the Innovation Award
Each year, the Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat (CTBUH), a non-profit group based at the Illinois Institute of Technology, selects structures from around the world which represent a blend of sustainability, technical innovation and appealing design. This year’s winners, each impressive in its own right, hail from Australia, Canada, Italy and Qatar along with one from Abu Dhabi that took the organization’s first-ever Innovation Award. An international panel of jurors made the picks which will be formally recognized at an awards ceremony in Chicago this October.
The winners display remarkable creativity, as well as a respect for the environment, connection with place, and the urban surroundings,” said awards committee chairman Richard Cook. With 88 buildings over 656 ft (200 m) completed globally last year and 78 entries submitted for consideration, the jurors faced quite a challenge.
Click the link in the post to get to Gizmag coverage of the awards. Beaucoup photos and details available through their own links. Modern Architecture is alive and well around the world.
Thanks, Ed
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For Phlax
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Woman Hit With Baseball Sues 11-Tear-Old for $500,000.

In cranky old woman news, a New Jersey woman who was hit in the face by a rogue baseball while in attendance at a Little League baseball game has filed charges against the 11-year-old boy who was responsible for the misfire.

Elizabeth Lloyd was struck by the baseball when she was sitting at a picnic table near the fenced-in bullpen where catcher Matthew Migliaccio was practicing with a pitcher. The lawsuit accuses the young baseball player of assault and battery and causing severe permanent pain to Lloyd.
No one was more shocked to hear the news than Migliaccio's parents themselves. Matthew's father, Bob, admitted that they showed concern for Lloyd at first, but when his son started receiving threatening letters and then papers serving him, the entire situation became infuriating.

"It's absurd to expect every 11-year-old to throw the ball on target," Migliaccio said. "Everyone knows you've got to watch out. You assume some risk when you go out to a field. That's just part of being at a game."
 
The Migliaccios know they could garner a victory if they opted to fight the charges in court, but the tens of thousands of dollars it would cost them to do so just aren't worth it. On top of that, the Migliaccios aren't receiving any sort of help from Little League in the matter.

Their only hope at this point is that maybe Elizabeth Lloyd will get distracted by her day job of chasing down one hundred and one Dalmatian puppies to make into a fur coat to follow through with the lawsuit.

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circles and squares 1
Here are three circles and two squares, inscribed successively as shown.
If the diameter of the largest circle is 10, what is the diameter of the smallest circle?
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Joel Fuhrman's nutrition & health plan for longevity & reversing a long list of ailments & diseases...
G-BOMBS*: Greens, Beans, Onions, Mushrooms, Berries, and Seeds
“G-BOMBS” is an acronym you can use to remember the most nutrient-dense, health-promoting foods on the planet. These are the foods you should eat every day, and they should make up a significant proportion of your diet — these foods are extremely effective at preventing chronic disease and promoting health and longevity.
G — Greens
B - Beans
O — Onions
M - Mushrooms
B — Berries
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Male Seahorse Giving Birth
Happy Father's Day, Neatoramanauts! To help you celebrate, here's a video clip of a male seahorse becoming a daddy by doing something that moms usually do: giving birth.
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Lake Pepto-Bismol
Those two dots are actually boats on Lake Retba in Senegal. The pink water, which made it look like the boats are floating on a Pepto-Bismol lake, got its color from the extremely high levels of salt.
Michael Danson, an expert in extremophile bacteria from Bath University, said: "The strawberry colour is produced by salt-loving organism Dunaliella salina.
"They produce a red pigment that absorbs and uses the energy of sunlight to create more energy, turning the water pink.
"Lakes like Retba and the Dead Sea, which have high salt concentrations, were once thought to be incompatible with life - hence the names. But they are very much alive."
Salt collectors can often be seen scouring the expanse to remove the valuable mineral - but first have to coat their skin with sheer butter.
Find out why the salt collectors have to coat their skin with butter over at The Huffington Post: Link /Photo: Barcroft - via Kyoko
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Parental Texts
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A puzzle from the Middle Ages, adapted by A.N. Prior:
Four people, on a certain occasion, say one thing each.
A says that 1 + 1 = 2.
B says that 2 + 2 = 4.
C says that 2 + 2 = 5.
Can D now say that exactly as many truths as falsehoods are uttered on this occasion?
“If what D says is true,” Prior writes, “that makes 3 truths to 1 falsehood, so that it is false; while if it is false, that makes two truths and two falsehoods, and it is true.”
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Your CPR certification for humans does not automatically mean you also know the correct way to perform CPR on a fragile puppy. Chest compressions for adult humans and dogs invoilve forceful motions, with one hand on top of the other on the surface of the chest. However, this sort of force may break a puppy's ribs. Learn the steps to modified respiration and CPR for puppies to increase their chance of survival.
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The UK has just had the Queen's Jubilee which was a great success and the celebrations continue. The London Olympics are just around the corner and to anticipate that and simply to keep the flag flying, British Telecom have launched an art project the aim of which is to revitalize that most British of icons, the telephone box. And, of course, to raise an awful lot of money for charity.
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X-37B Landing
Footage of the X-37B landing at Vandenberg AFB at 5:48am, June 16th.
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Raccoon Invasion
A mother raccoon teaches her growing litter how to scrounge a meal at photographer Brad Gillette’s house. -via reddit
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A true friend
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Trivia Tidbit: Costco Facts: The famous Costco hot dog and soda combo is the same low price it was 21 years ago! *** Last year, Costco sold more than 106 million pounds of fresh ground beef. *** Last year, Costco sold approximately 1.6 billion gallons of gas. *** Last year, Costco sold more than 69 million hot dog-and-soda combinations. More Costco trivia
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2012 June 18
See Explanation.  Clicking on the picture will download  the highest resolution version available.
Milky Way Above Easter Island
Image Credit & Copyright: Manel Soria
Explanation: Why were the statues on Easter Island built? No one is sure. What is sure is that over 800 large stone statues exist there. The Easter Island statues, stand, on the average, over twice as tall as a person and have over 200 times as much mass. Few specifics are known about the history or meaning of the unusual statues, but many believe that they were created about 500 years ago in the images of local leaders of a lost civilization. Pictured above, some of the stone giants were illuminated in 2009 under the central band of our Milky Way Galaxy.
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Thailand’s Got Talent catches government flak over topless painter
A contestant auditioning for the popular “Thailand’s Got Talent” show shocked judges and earned producers a government dressing down after she doused her breasts with paint and used them to paint a canvas.
The 23-year-old woman appeared on the Thai version of the international franchise aired on Sunday evening by the public broadcaster, Channel 3. She was demurely dressed in a checked shirt and jeans, and spoke politely to the three judges.
But she turned her back to the camera, faced a canvas and pots of paint, and removed her shirt and bra. She doused her naked torso from the buckets of yellow, green, red and black paint and rubbed it into her breasts.
Then as dance music played she rubbed her breasts against the canvas, using them to paint as a stunned audience and the three judges – two men, one woman – looked on in disbelief at the scene unfolding before them.
Thailand’s culture minister, Sukumol Khunploem, summoned the producers for a dressing down over airing the clip in the show that is watched by audiences of all ages, including children.
There must be limits to artist expression,” said the minister, Ms Sukumol…
The woman judge on the panel, who eventually walked off the set, complained that the performance was inappropriate to Thai culture and was dismayed by audience members who expressed their support for the artist…
The two male judges decided the performance was a form of artistic expression and advanced her to the next round.
I wonder how long she practiced?
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Ed found this cool video
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Keep Calm and Carry On
Thanks, Dana
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The Bookshop
The shop has many extra features: open fires in the Winter, beloved by all. Coffee and cookies. A model railway acting as a link between the book columns of the central room. A mini-cybercafé (well, two computers!). Generous seating. A children's room with enough toys to allow parents and grandparents to browse elsewhere in peace. (Or so we hope.) And a whole huge room lined with glass cases containing many of the more interesting antiquarian books. (There are no rooms in the bookshop, by the way, that are open to some and not to others.)
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The Company That Quietly Knows Everything About You
You probably have never heard of Axciom, but it has heard of you. Actually, not only has it heard of you, it knows all about you: It knows who you are. It knows where you live. It knows what you do. It peers deeper into American life than the F.B.I. or the I.R.S., or those prying digital eyes at Facebook and Google. If you are an American adult, the odds are that it knows things like your age, race, sex, weight, height, marital status, education level, politics, buying habits, household health worries, vacation dreams — and on and on.
Right now in Conway, Ark., north of Little Rock, more than 23,000 computer servers are collecting, collating and analyzing consumer data for a company that, unlike Silicon Valley’s marquee names, rarely makes headlines. It’s called the Acxiom Corporation, and it’s the quiet giant of a multibillion-dollar industry known as database marketing.
Nathasha Singer tells us all about Axciom in this enlightening New York Times article: Link
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The Bug-Zapping Light Saber
You’ve heard the jokes about how a light saber resembles a bug zapper… Caleb Kraft decided that joke needed to be made real! Read more about how it was done at Hack A Day. Link -Thanks, Caleb!
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“What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think themselves cleverer than we are.” — La Rochefoucauld
“Nothing hath an uglier Look to us than Reason, when it is not of our side.” — George Savile, Marquess of Halifax
“Behind every argument is someone’s ignorance.” — Louis Brandeis
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An AT-AT for the Bike Lane
Pedalpalooza is a bicycle festival in Portland, Oregon. Last Saturday afternoon, it conducted a Star Trek vs. Star Wars-themed ride. This tandem bike, though too underpowered for a campaign on Hoth, navigated the city streets with ease. Watch a video of it at the link.
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On Sept. 21, 1929, each of the major Paris newspapers received a letter from a mysterious organization calling itself the Knights of Themis. The society had been formed, it said, to punish “swindlers, dishonest financiers and others of similar kidney” whom the authorities had failed to discourage.
First on its list was Joseph Eugene Clement Passal, a notorious confidence man who had just been released from Lille Prison after a paltry five-year sentence. Over the next several days, further letters told of Passal’s abduction and torture by a series of bizarre ordeals. Finally, on Sept. 26, he confessed the location of his ill-gotten loot, and his captors retrieved a box containing 10 million francs from the Forest of Essarts. Finding Passal hopelessly unrepentant, though, they resolved to kill him.
On Sept. 27 Passal’s mother received a letter in her son’s hand, confirming that he had been kidnapped, tortured, and sentenced to death. Six days later she received another letter, this one apparently from a repentant captor who thought his fellows had gone too far. He confided that Passal had been buried alive 75 miles west of Paris in a coffin that had been fitted with an airpipe to prolong his agony.
The authorities raced to the scene and found a freshly dug grave from which a tin airpipe protruded. In the coffin was Joseph Passal, dead. When detectives traced the purchaser of the airpipe they discovered Paris thief Henri Boulogne, who confessed everything. He and Passal had been cellmates in prison, and on Passal’s release they had rented a villa, where they had typed the letters and built the coffin. Passal directed his friend to bury him alive, expecting that the authorities would resurrect him and he could sell his story for millions.
The airpipe they had chosen was too small.
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Went to meet a new friend & hear his group play at a local restaurant tonight. They play contra dance tunes in the Anglo-Celtic tradition: Irish, Scottish, French Canadian & Old-time jigs & reels ~ lots of fiddles, mandolin, guitars, banjo, flute, washboard, tambourine, etc
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World’s Largest Collection of Mechanical Puzzles
In 2006, puzzle enthusiast and author Jerry Slocum donated his extensive collection of mechanical puzzles (he's got more than 30,000 puzzles and about 4,000 puzzle-related books) to The Lilly Library at Indiana University.
Today, you can browse the image collection online: Link - via bookofjoe
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Mutant Bikes of the 1940s
Forget the hipster fixie bike and say hello to the mutant bicycles of the 1940s. LIFE magazine wrote:
“By artfully applying welders’ torches to metal tubing, the chapter’s members transform ordinary, utilitarian bicycles into traveling monstrosities. By far the most outlandish ideas have come from the Steinlauf family, who produced from their bicycle repair shop most of the oddities [shown in the article]. They are hazardous; generally at least one member of the clan is to be found in the hospital.” Link (don't miss the Gangster bike!)
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Puttin’ on the Ritz
A flashmob in Moscow performs a huge production number to “Puttin’ on the Ritz” outside in February. That’s the way to warm up a cold Russian day! If you can read the annotations, maybe you can give us more details. -via the Presurfer
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New from Hooters…
Cocks restaurant
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Camera Trap Sex Tape
Camera traps are hidden in the forest to record wildlife without disturbing their natural behavior. But some folks think they should be clearly labeled after one caught an unnamed Austrian politician having sex on film.
Speaking to the local service of Austrian public broadcaster ORF on Monday, Hans Zeger, head of ARGE Daten, a non-governmental organization focusing on data protection, criticised the forest surveillance, saying that the automatic cameras pose a threat to individuals’ privacy rights. The cameras should “at least be marked with signs,” so that forest visitors can “adjust their behavior and avoid the monitored areas,” he said.
But the Carinthian cameras are inconspicuous by design. Mounted on trees deep in the forest, they allow hunters and preservationists to observe animals in their natural habitats and feeding grounds. The cameras are sophisticated pieces of technology equipped with motion sensors and infrared capabilities, which allow them to capture footage of light-footed creatures in the night. They clearly have no trouble detecting humans in the undergrowth, either.
On the one hand, the politician is guilty of trespassing, as the area was clearly posted as forbidden. But the tape will not be made public, as its release is against Austrian law and carries a $25,000 fine. Link -via TIME Newsfeed
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Would you try it?

Coaster skater
It looks exciting, but I can’t help what wonder would happen if you fell down. How painful would that be until your body finally came to a stop?
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80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” Convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “Eighteen!”
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!” The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.” So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?”
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, “Ninety?”
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance — What is 2 plus 2?”
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?”
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…
“GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”
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“Standards for inconsequential trivia,” offered by Philip A. Simpson in the NBS Standard, Jan. 1, 1970:
10-15 bismols = 1 femto-bismol
10-12 boos = 1 picoboo
1 boo2 = 1 boo-boo
10-18 boys = 1 attoboy
1012 bulls = 1 terabull
101 cards = 1 decacards
10-9 goats = 1 nanogoat
2 gorics = 1 paregoric
10-3 ink machines = 1 millink machine
109 los = 1 gigalos
10-1 mate = 1 decimate
10-2 mentals = 1 centimental
10-2 pedes = 1 centipede
106 phones = 1 megaphone
10-6 phones = 1 microphone
1012 pins = 1 terapin
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Is There an App for That?
The question “Is there an app for that?” is actually the challenge in today’s Lunchtime Quiz at mental_floss. You’ll be given descriptions of something a smart phone might or might not do, and you decide whether that’s an existing app to do it or not. This is one of those quizzes that will be obsolete soon, as someone will take these ideas and make apps for them, if they don’t already exist! I only got three out of ten right. If you have a smart phone, you will do better. Link
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Naked Shopping is a Hit
A new Priss supermarket opened in Süderlügum, North Frisia, Germany, on Saturday with a special promotion offering €270 worth of groceries to the first 100 shoppers who showed up in their birthday suits. The offer went over much better than expected, with around 250 naked people waiting as the store opened.
Supermarket manager Nils Sterndorff was overwhelmed by the success of his gimmick. “I never thought a hundred people would come, I thought maybe more like ten,” he said.
The shoppers were mostly Danish, who often cross the German border to shop because prices are generally lower. Link -via Arbroath
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What I Want in a Man, Original List (age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady — splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62):1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet
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The Science Of Getting Drunk
Plastered, wasted, three sheets to the wind; whatever you call it, all drinkers go through pretty much the same biological process to arrive at the destination of intoxication. Lets take a look at the science behind the intoxification process.
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Trademarks are an important way for businesses to market their goods to consumers, but sometimes it can be difficult to know whose intellectual property toes you're treading on. For those who aren't familiar with this area of intellectual property, trademarks are words or images that individuals and businesses use to identify their products, services, etc. to consumers.
Here are six terms and concepts that companies claim to own, and some of them might surprise you.
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Two Sides To Every Story
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Quite a match!
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Wat Rong Khun is a contemporary unconventional Buddhist and Hindu temple in Chiang Rai, Thailand. It was designed by Chalermchai Kositpipat. Construction began in 1997 and is ongoing.
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Dancehall Queen Style is a Jamaican dance fashion which became popular in the 1990s through music videos and The Grind show on MTV. The video is a playful take on the dancehall culture with its provocative costumes, suggestive poses, roles and blatant sexuality.
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"I like Medieval Times, but if they wanted to have a real medieval experience, they would knock out half your teeth and give you food that would give you dysentery." -Craig Ferguson


"According to the 'Wall Street Journal', researchers at Harvard have found an enzyme in the brain that regulates obesity. They said if it wasn't for our brains, we would all be thin. That's why supermodels are so skinny." --Jay Leno
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Two people were killed in this accident on a Russian highway when a truck’s brakes failed.
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"Obama says the jobs bill will be paid for. I don't like this focus on paying for things. That's what future generations are for." -Jimmy Kimmel
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While on a ski trip in Wyoming, I encountered a husband and wife on the slopes who asked me if I would take a picture of them. I said I would be happy to, and I did. Then I asked if they wouldn't mind taking a picture of me.
"Oh, sorry," the man answered, "but we only have two pictures left, and we wanted to take some pictures of the lodge."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A woman in my office recently divorced after years of marriage, had signed up for a refresher CPR course.
"Is it hard to learn?" someone asked.
"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically you're asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A police officer in San Francisco was busted for running a brothel. They became suspicious when he would only handcuff people that paid extra." -Craig Ferguson


 
 
"Scientists say they have found the 'master switch' that controls obesity. It's called the refrigerator light." -Jay Leno
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A young Jewish man falls in love with a Native American woman and they decide to get married. When his mother hears the news, however, she is extremely distressed because she wanted him to marry a nice Jewish girl. When she hears that not only is he marrying this Native American girl but has decided to live with her on the reservation, the mother becomes so upset that she refuses to even speak to the boy, practically disowning him.

After a year, the son telephones the mother to tell her that he and his wife are expecting a child. The mother is happy for him, but there is still quite a bit of tension in the air.

Nine months later, the son calls the mother again. "Mom," he says, "I just wanted you to know that last night my wife gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I also wanted to tell you that we've talked it over and we have decided to give the boy a Jewish name."

Upon hearing this, the mother is overjoyed. "Oh son, this is wonderful," she gushes. "I've been waiting for this moment all my life. You have made me the happiest woman in the world."

"That's great, Mom," replies the son.

"And what," asks the mother, "is the baby's name?"

The son proudly replies, "Smoked Whitefish!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Healthy Living from Health.com
http://health.chtah.net/a/tBP4glNBFYNexB8jgUqCFNC1Eh4/top2

WORK OUT LIKE AN OLYMPIAN
http://health.chtah.net/a/tBP4glNBFYNexB8jgUqCFNC1Eh4/top23
If anyone knows what it takes to push through a workout, stay calm under pressure, and fuel up for a long day, it’s a world class athlete. Get your medal-worthy advice from these 13 Olympic hopefuls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damn Ursa....
 
I've been reading this since a quarter to fuck today.
I may not finish until somewhere around cunnilingus tonight.
Phlax (savvy connoisseur of naughty news)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, bawdy, blue*, carnal, concupiscent, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, fleshly, hot*, impassioned, kinky*, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, obscene, off-color, prurient, purple*, raunchy, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, venereal, voluptuous
adept, aesthete, aficionado, appreciator, arbiter, bon vivant, buff*, cognoscente, critic, devotee, dilettante, epicure, expert, fan, freak*, gourmet, judge, maven*, nut*, one into, savant, specialist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUOTE: "If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."


HINT: (1937-), American comedian, actor, author, television producer, educator, musician and activist.

ANSWER: Bill Cosby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RANDOM TIDBITS

British children have their own version of Santa Claus. Called Father Christmas in the United Kingdom, he traditionally wore a green hooded cloak. But as American culture slowly worked its way across the Atlantic in the 1930s, Father Christmas started wearing the traditional red fur coat associated with the iconic American Santa Claus.

Thirteen-year-old Charles Manson was sent to Father Flanagan's Boys Town in 1947. Within a week of arriving, he and another boy escaped and committed two armed robberies.

According to the American Retail Association, Americans spend about $2 billion less on gifts for Dad on Father's Day than they do for Mom on Mother's Day. However, more collect calls are placed on Father's Day than any other day of the year.

The hymn "Eternal Father" is known in the United States as The Navy Hymn" because it has been sung at each Sunday's Divine Services in Annapolis since 1879. It was Franklin D. Roosevelt's favorite hymn, and the Navy Band played it as John F. Kennedy's body was carried up the stairs of the Capitol to lie in state.

Humorist Ralph Schoenstein has many books to his credit, including the I Hate Preppies Handbook, but one of his most popular publications doesn't even list his name on the cover. Schoenstein was the ghostwriter responsible for Bill Cosby's mega-selling book Fatherhood.

Some historians believe that Father Time is actually based on Cronus, the Titan god of agriculture, who carried a scythe for harvesting purposes. Perhaps it's because of this agricultural connection that Father Time is often depicted as being married to Mother Nature.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Facts:

Originally, a lifeboat drill was scheduled to take place on board the Titanic on April 14, 1912 - the day the Titanic hit the iceberg. However, for an unknown reason, Captain Smith canceled the drill. Many believe that had the drill taken place, more lives could have been saved.

From the time the lookouts sounded the alert, the officers on the bridge had only 37 seconds to react before the Titanic hit the iceberg. In that time, First Officer Murdoch ordered "hard a-starboard" (which turned the ship to port -- left). He also ordered the engine room to put the engines in reverse. The Titanic did bank left, but it wasn't quite enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CAPS LOCK
Caps lock dyslexia
via
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anything You Want --*

A man came home from work and was greeted by his wife dressed in a teddy.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went out for a round of golf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What does a jellyfish have on its tummy?
A: A jelly button.

Q:What did the the Roman emperor say when he saw his best friend scarf down an entire can of Starkist?
A: Et tuna, Brute?

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost.

Q: What do whales like to chew?
A: Blubber gum.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hit in face by ball
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"NASCAR is trying some new initiatives to go green, including planting trees and using ethanol fuel. Most controversial is the idea of having NASCAR drivers carpool in the race." -Conan O'Brien


"There was meteor sighting across several states. I spent the whole morning in the desert looking for a baby Superman, but couldn't find one." -Jimmy Kimmel


"A new study found that a mother's diet affects her baby's allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats." -Jimmy Fallon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.
However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"
"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When my friend spotted a b
lind man and his guide dog at a crosswalk, she stopped her car and waved them on.
"Uh, Cynthia," I said, "he can't see you."
"I know that," she said indignantly. "I'm waving the dog on."
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kraken Arises!
Part 13
Sam Malmberg made this awesome scene of a attack by a deep-sea monster! The creation is part of a set of 13 works called Fantasy Lego that you can see in a Flickr set. Load the photos in order, and follow the story narrated in the photo descriptions! Link -via Super Punch(Image credit: Flickr user Groovybones)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Stonewall Jackson’s precepts for good conversation, from a book of maxims he collected in the 1850s:
  1. Ascertain in your conversation as well as you can wherein the skill & excellence of the individual lies & put him upon his favorite subject. Every person will of his own accord fall to talking on his favorite subject or topic if you will follow and not attempt to lead him.
  2. If you seek to improve in the greatest degree from the conversation of another, allow him to take his own course. If called upon, converse in turn upon your favorite topic.
  3. Never interrupt another but hear him out. There are certain individuals from whom little information is to be desired such as use wanton, obscene or profane language.
  4. If you speak in company, speak late.
  5. Let your words be as few as will express the sense you wish to convey & above all let what you say be true.
  6. Do not suffer your feelings to betray you into too much vehemence or earnestness or to being overbearing.
  7. Avoid triumphing over an antagonist.
  8. Never engross the whole conversation to yourself.
  9. Sit or stand still while another is speaking to you. [Do]not dig in the earth with your foot nor take your knife from your pocket & pare your nales nor other such action.
  10. Never anticipate for another to help him out. It is time enough for you to make corrections after he has concluded, if any are necessary. It is impolite to interrupt another in his remarks.
  11. Say as little of yourself & friends as possible.
  12. Make it a rule never to accuse without due consideration any body or association of men.
  13. Never try to appear more wise or learned than the rest of the company. Not that you should affect ignorance, but endeavor to remain within your own proper sphere.
  14. Let ease & gracefulness be the standard by which you form your estimation (taken from etiquett).
“Good breeding, or true politeness, is the art of showing men by external signs the internal regard we have for them,” he wrote. “It arises from good sense, improved by good company. It must be acquired by practice and not by books.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Words are more than seeds, they do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not on the ground. Be careful what you plant and be careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day.
"From there to here,from here to there, funny things are everywhere." -- Dr. Seuss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can’t they fly in space?
- Valentina Tereshkova, the first woman in space. She accomplished the feat on this day, June 16, 1963.
“I believe in persevering. If you persevere, success lies ahead of you.”
- Liu Yang, China’s first female astronaut, who was carried into the cosmos today, June 16, 2012, 49 years later. Coincidence? I think not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Susan failed a Health and Safety course at the Senior Center today.
One of the questions was:
"In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"
"F***ing' big ones" was apparently the wrong answer.
Thanks, Cindy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gossamer silk from balloon spiders

Ballooning is a term used for the mechanical kiting that many spiders, especially small species…use to disperse through the air. Many small spiders use gossamer or especially fine silk to lift themselves off a surface or use the silk as an anchor in mid air. The very fine silk used for ballooning has been called “gossamer” since 1325 and was not originally known to be produced by spiders; by extension, the same word is used metaphorically for any exceedingly fine thread or fabric. Biologists also apply the term “balloon silk” to the threads that mechanically lift and drag systems.
A spider or spiderling after hatching will climb as high as it can. The spider then stands on raised legs with its abdomen pointed upwards. This is known as “tiptoeing”. After that, it starts releasing several silk threads from its abdomen into the air, which automatically form a triangular shaped parachute. The spider can then let itself be carried away by updrafts of winds, where even the slightest of breeze will do. Most rides will end a few metres later, or a spider can be taken up into a jet stream, which depends on its mass, posture, the convection air current, drag of silk and parachute to float and travel high up into the upper atmosphere.
One of my favorite early summer signs. The prevailing westerlies always catch many gossamer threads along our eastern fenceline.
Very Cool, Thanks, Ed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Here's more fodder for the conspiracy theorists ~
X-37B ORBITAL TEST VEHICLE ~ air force fact sheet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Awesome Snow Designs - [winter art]
The Longest Tunnel in the World - [sped up by 800%]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Harry goes up to a prostitute and asks,
“How much for a blow job?”
She says, “A hundred bucks.”
He tries to talk her down, but she won’t budge, so he agrees to pay the hundred.
They go back to his hotel room and as soon as they are inside, Harry starts masturbating furiously.
“What are you doing that for?” asks the prostitute.
“For a hundred bucks,” he says, “do you think I’m gonna give you the easy one?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will we ever live on the Moon? Discover Magazine’s Bad Astronomer Phil Plait has some thoughts on how it could actually well and truly happen (and not in the too distant future!)

Up close and personal with
animals’ eyes.
The Guardian put out a fantastic article earlier this week about why our food is making us fat. Sugar, mainly, but the historical context and fair consideration they give to the issue makes it a must-read (FYI, a stone or “st” in weight measurements is equal to about 14 pounds).

Thinking of redecorating? Check out this Psychology of Color infograph first to see what colors will subconsciously enhance your space.
Speaking of interiors, feel free to sigh and stare at these 30 best room pictures of the week.
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This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: "I got 12 inches over here you would love to have."
The female response was: "Well, spit it out it isn't yours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Maltese Falcon - let's talk about the bird extracthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yiq5Fkr3yX8&sns=fb
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[Click to embiggen.]
This astonishing image was taken on June 13, 2012 by the Cassini spacecraft when it was 2.6 million kilometers (1.6 million miles) from the ringed planet — that’s more then six times farther than the Moon is from the Earth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Other Vehicle Was a Spacecraft
Now that the space shuttle has retired, astronauts are rediscovering the joys of flying airplanes.
Astronauts can't stay astronauts forever. These days, the space shuttles are being readied for display in museums, and commercial space vehicles are years from being able to carry humans to orbit. Though nothing can match the rush of a rocket ride, ex-astronauts continue to experience the thrill of flight by turning to the thing that got many of them hooked on space travel in the first place: the airplane.

Today, even active astronauts—yes, those enviable pilots who routinely get to take one of NASA's T-38 Talons out for a spin—can find fulfillment by flying low and (relatively) slow. Which airplanes are astronauts turning to? Some of their choices may surprise you.
Inventors, dreamers, daredevils, charlatans: Aviation's early years had them all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dino fart
Jurassic Fart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Volcanic Lightning


Photo: Carlos Gutierrez/Reuters
It looks like a scene straight out of the movies, but that volcanic lightning is quite real. Photographer Carlos Gutierrez took this amazing photo of lightning bolts over the plume of Chile's Puyehue-Cordón Caulle volcano in 2011:
The water and frozen-ash particles, said [volcano seismologist Steve McNut]t—who's found volcanic plumes to be surprisingly water rich—rub against each other. As with shuffling shoes on carpet, the contact produces static charges. "That's what happens in ordinary thunderstorms" too, McNutt said.
Link - via Yahoo!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daring Lion Cub Rescue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Robber Fly With Some Sweet Dance Moves
This video features a robber fly getting down to the song Too Close by Alex Clare, proving that this fly guy has what it takes to put his enemies in check both on and off the dance floor.–via Obvious Winner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahhh...love. Love and condiments.
Why does it never seem to work out? Take the example of this young couple in Massachusetts.

22-year-old college student John McGuinness and his girlfriend were returning from a bar when the woman received a text message from a man that McGuinness believed she slept with at school. The text provoked an argument that continued until the woman dropped McGuinness off at his home.
As she was driving home the girlfriend got a text from McGuninness stating that he was going to throw out a $200 pair of jeans that belonged to her. Not wanting to lose the expensive item of clothing she drove back to his house.
When she got there he came out to the driveway with her jeans covered in wasabi sauce and whipped her in the face with them, burning her eyes. He also stormed over to her car and squirted the sauce inside her vehicle.
Why wasabi sauce is not made clear in the story. Maybe she hates Japanese cuisine. Whatever the reason, police were called and McGuinness was charged with three misdemeanors, including assault and battery "by dangerous sauce."
I bet you didn't know that was even a thing.

But that is small gyoza compared to Barbara Hall and her 45-year-old boyfriend.

This Florida couple were in the throes of passion when the magic apparently dried up and Barb needed a little something to help "butter her muffin" for lack of a better phrase.
So she did what any of us would do in that situation, she sent her boyfriend to the kitchen to fetch a bottle of olive oil, because nothing is sexier than Italian salad dressing, I guess.
When he returned to the bedroom she asked him if he also brought the Pam. She was talking about the cooking spray (I would love to know what she was planning to do with that) but he thought she was referring to another woman he had had an affair with.
That started a fight which ended with Barbara hitting her boyfriend over the head with the olive oil bottle.
She was arrested for domestic battery.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Popular Characters As Pac-Man Ghosts
This simply adorable bunch of ghostly characters comes to you courtesy of graphic designer Ryan Coleman, who played Pac-Man for so long that he’s started seeing things, like Bender’s face on Blinky’s body.
Someone should make an indie Pac-Man spin-off with these cute little guys, in order to literally feed the Pac-People’s obsession with popular culture! Link –via Geek Tyrant
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The Mighty F Blog
It’s not what you think. It’s a blog that deals with all kinds of subjects: food, fun, foreign policy, fungus …as long as it starts with an F! The official mascot of the site is the Fennec fox. There’s also a map in which you can explore F places and submit your ideas for more. It’s fantastic! Link
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Train Engineer Adopts Owl from Track
Guo Zuchun drives a train in Chongqing, China. One day he saw three tiny owls on the track and managed to stop the train before hitting them. They were too small to fly, and are believed to be victims of a storm that destroyed their nest. Two were given to a local wildlife centre to be raised, but Guo was allowed to keep one as a pet. Now the young owl thinks his new life is a hoot, says Gou. “I take him to work every day and he sits on the dashboard in front of me having a good look at what’s going on around us,” he said “He seems to like riding the train more than he likes flying,” laughed the driver.
You can see pictures of the baby owl riding the train with Guo at Austrian Times. Link -via Arbroath
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Tabasco Sauce Bottle Lamp
To add some spicy hot mood lighting to your pad, follow Michael Krumpus’s instructions. He made an Arduino-controlled mood lamp that lights alternating sequences of LEDs inside old tabasco sauce bottles.
Link -via Make Previously by this maker: Bomb Alarm Clock
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A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?"
The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down."
His friend says, "You know, that don't sound too bad."
The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off, only I got somebody to talk to."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fatherhood remains a ripe subject for scientific research. Here are 10 recent studies on the transformation from man to dad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Do Poison Ivy and Poison Oak Make Folks Itch?
Over 80% of Americans are allergic to Poison Ivy and Oak.
Knowing how to avoid them is a good skill—but you need to know what to do if the worst happens.
How To Tell A Raven From A Crow
Ravens are pretty remarkable. They’re among the longest lived birds and are found through much of the world.
Often mistaken for crows, ravens have a story that’s worth knowing.

Dancing Ice Crystals
In "Cascades," an enchanting new music video made for British artist Ryan Teague, a homemade snowflake machine is used to animate the growth of ice crystals (3:12)
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If I have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey bites off my roosters feet, what do you have?
Two feet of my cock in your ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The simple step of a courageous individual is not to take part in the falsehood. One word of truth outweighs
the world. - Alexander Solzhenitsyn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ecstasy - A feeling you feel when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you never felt before.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speeding blonde claims cop targeted her --*

ABBOTSFORD, British Columbia - A Canadian woman stopped for driving more than double the speed limit in British Columbia alleges the officer targeted her because she's a blonde, police said. The unidentified woman was clocked driving 70 mph in a 30 mph zone in Abbotsford, southeast of Vancouver Sunday, The (Vancouver) Province reported Wednesday. Police Constable Ian MacDonald told the newspaper the woman's first defense was to go on the offensive by alleging the officer profiled and stopped her because she's blonde. "You couldn't make this up -- people would never believe it," MacDonald said. "If the officer was targeting blondes and had the ability to determine blonde, brunette and redhead at (70 mph), he deserves a commendation -- a hairdressing commendation." Despite her protests, British Columbia provincial law means an instant 7-day impounding of the woman's Lexus because she was doing more than double the posted limit, along with fines to be determined in court, the report said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lisa Frank’s Alien
It was 1979. Swiss surrealist artist H.R. Giger was unavailable to help create the movie Alien. But Lisa Frank, maker of bright, cheery stickers and school supplies for tween girls, was. That is the disturbing alternate history imagined by deviantART member GalenaLarkin. Link -via io9
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at work…
12% on Monday.
23% on Tuesday.
40% on Wednesday.
20% on Thursday.
5% on Friday.
And help me to remember…When I’m having a really bad day,and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4…to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me! Amen.
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Mule-drawn wagon has GPS, toilet

ZUMBRO FALLS, Minn. - A Minnesota couple who began traveling by mule-drawn wagon a few years ago said they are taking it on a cross-country trip. Warren and Mary Veien of Zumbro Falls said they will set out next week for a cross-country trip in their mule-drawn wagon, whose amenities include a GPS, a frontal brake system, a charcoal grill, beds, seats taken from pickup trucks and a Port-o-Potty, WCCO-TV, Minneapolis, reported Wednesday. "They always say a mule, if you can rub their forehead, then you can do most anything with 'em," Warren Veien said. He said the only thing his mules won't do is go near semi trucks, so they stick to traveling on gravel roads, away from the larger vehicles. The couple said they will be accompanied on their cross-country excursion by 25 other covered wagons forming a "wagon train."
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What do they call condoms in Germany?
Weinerhosen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What if when we die,
the light at the end of the tunnel
is just another vagina we are being pushed out of?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An organization and methods engineer submitted this report after visiting the Royal Festival Hall:
For considerable periods the four oboe players had nothing to do. Their numbers should be reduced, and the work spread more evenly over the whole of the concert, thus eliminating peaks of activity.
All the twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems unnecessary multiplication. The staff of this section should be drastically cut; if a large volume of sound is required, it could be obtained by means of electronic amplifiers.
Much effort was absorbed in the playing of demisemiquavers. This seems to be an unnecessary refinement. It is recommended that all notes should be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver. If this were done it would be possible to use trainees and lower grade operatives more extensively.
There seems to be too much repetition of some musical passages. Scores should be drastically pruned. No useful purpose is served by repeating on the horns a passage which has already been handled by the strings. It is estimated that if all redundant passages were eliminated, the whole concert time of two hours could be reduced to twenty minutes, and there would be no need for an interval.
The Conductor agrees generally with these recommendations, but expresses the opinion that there might be some falling-off in box-office receipts. In that unlikely event it should be possible to close sections of the auditorium entirely, with a consequential saving of overhead expenses — lighting, attendants, etc.
If the worst came to the worst, the whole thing could be abandoned and the public could go to the Albert Hall instead.
– From NPL News 236, 17 (1969)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Skyfall will be the 25th James Bond film when it comes out later this year.
Can you name the other 24 films? You have five minutes
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A good majority of northern hemisphere and international schools are winding down the 2011-2012 school year and doors will be closing as the students and teachers take off on their summer adventures. Here is a list of great sites for kids and teachers to keep you happily productive and learning this summer.
Nature never stops to amaze us with its magnificent phenomenon just like these inexplicable holes in the ground. These holes may be formed gradually or suddenly, and are found worldwide. This is a list of beautiful natural holes from around the world which have become popular tourist destinations.
Cappadocia is an area in Central Anatolia in Turkey with some of the most dramatic landscapes in Europe. Hot air balloons mixed in makes for an even more colorful sight.
Bamboo is a group of perennial evergreens in the true grass family Poaceae. Giant bamboos are the largest members of the grass family. They are some of the fastest growing plants in the world. Bamboos are of notable economic and cultural significance in South Asia, South East Asia and East Asia, being used for building materials, as a food source, and as a versatile raw product. Bamboo is booming, and is estimated to be worth upwards of $25 billion in 2012. There are a number of positive attributes of this grassy material that have helped it gain momentum in the marketplace.
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10 ways pms
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do women get PMS?

THEY JUST FUCKING DO ALRIGHT!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hooligan cocks” – Graphic hundred-year-old penguin sex manuscript uncovered
If you get shot in the head, will you feel it? Vaughan Bell investigates
We are viral, from the beginning. no one sums up complex ideas into pithy pretty statements better than Carl Zimmer.
Terrifying sex organs of male turtles, by Darren Naish
World’s largest flower is a parasite that steals water, food and genes from its hosts, by Christie Wilcox
The Meaning of Death: How do we know someone is no longer alive? It’s more complicated than you might think.
10-year-old helps dad to solve science riddle, gets co-authorship
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Wired: Magical thinking encompasses a lot of quirky human behaviors, but what’s your favorite example?
Matthew Hutson: The construction worker who secretly buried a Red Sox jersey in the new Yankee stadium, in the wet concrete. A year later the Yankees found out and made a big deal out of it. The fans were calling for blood and for it to be removed, and the Yankees didn’t want the stadium to be cursed, so they jack-hammered it out of several feet of concrete and pulled this thing, this shirt out of the ground in front of media.
The fact people were concerned that a shirt bearing the name and number of a Red Sox player could curse a stadium by sitting in the concrete of a floor? To me that is weird, funny and illogical behavior.
But by looking at that kind of thing, you get a chance to explore: What do you mean by cursed? Why do we care so much about symbols? How do we judge cause and effect? It gives you a great window into human cognition.
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Before art photographer Atton Conrad, I didn’t even know “light painting” was a thing.
His idea started with light trails but he said he ended up developing “light brushes” to give him control over light and texture.
You can view the rest of images on his website by selecting the LIGHT PAINTED category.
[Via GeekTyrant]
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Hahn Beer Academy from Australia is a place where beer problems are solved. Hahn is testing bacon-flavored beer after a drinker suggested it makes a meatier beer.
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Bessie Stringfield (1911–1993) was an African American woman credited with breaking down barriers for both women and African American motorcyclists. She was the first African-American woman to ride across the United States solo and during World War II she served as one of the few motorcycle despatch riders for the United States military.

The award bestowed by the American Motorcyclist Association for 'Superior Achievement by a Female Motorcyclist' is named in Bessie Stringfield's honor. She was sixteen when she learned to ride and she never looked back, becoming the first African-American woman to ride across the United States on her own. Later, she'd complete the cross-country journey several more times.
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One way2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Apartment Complex Designed Specifically for Motorcyclists
For some people, time spent not straddling a motorcycle is time wasted. If that’s your lifestyle, then the new NE Apartment complex in Tokyo is perfect for you. It’s designed to provide garage space in each apartment as well as other amenities a motorcyclist would appreciate:
Residents of this three-story Japanese apartment complex can revel not only in the ample room for their bikes to roam, which even allows enough space for a full rotation, but the innovative architectural design that gives the sense of a larger living space. Link | Architects: Akiyoshi Takagi, Yuji Nakae, and Hiroshi Ohno.
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"... beyond a shadow of a doubt...
who has seen doubt cast a shadow?
Bull elephant seals cast shadows... beyond the shadow of a bull elephant seal..."
-- Flacco, DAAS Kapital
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The short answer: yes, it's possible to go blind from drinking moonshine. But it's also possible to go blind staring at the sun. When consuming alcoholic beverages of the DIY variety, the important thing is to let common sense be your guide. The idea that moonshine or other home-distilled liquors can cause blindness is rooted in truth, but it's important to separate the causes of said blindness from the alcohol distillation process itself. When homemade spirits cause damage to the optic nerve the culprit is almost always methanol, cousin to the ethanol you consume when you toss back any glass of tipple.
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Vibrantly colorful macro shots of bubbles and drops by Anthony Giacomino
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"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."
- J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
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Nature preserve for children and disabled persons

Jenni and Kyle Preserve

. The vision for the Jenni and Kyle Preserve began in 1989 with a donation from Harvey and Patricia Wilmeth, given as a memorial to their two grandchildren, Jenni and Kyle, who both died at the age of 4 due to a degenerative neurological disorder. The Jenni and Kyle Preserve is unique in that the park is intended to serve children and persons with disabilities, and provides accessible fishing and picnic areas, trails, wheelchair swings, and a shelter building around two spring-fed ponds containing trout and panfish.The paths are paved with asphalt to facilitate wheelchair transport, and the three wooden bridges/docks on the ponds project out so that those in wheelchairs can have direct access to the water for fishing (permitted in the preserve only for those under age 14).
The wheelchair accessable swings have fold-down ends to allow roll-on, roll-off entrance/exit and a number of security chains. Very nicely done. More cities and towns should have such facilities.
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One day the zoo-keeper noticed that "Cheech" the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
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Dog Desperately Wants to Be Friends with Penguin
Theirs was a forbidden love, separated by the speciesist rules of society and a glass wall. It was not to be.
It’s for the best, pup. She was totally friendzoning you. -via Blame It on the Voices
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Swimming Pool
A lonely city-dweller goes for a late night swim and (literally) runs into a kindred spirit. The Czech short film by Alexandra Hetmerová won the Best Animation award in 2010 at the International Student Film Festival, and quite a few other awards. -via Everlasting Blort
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European cave paintings are older than previously thought, raising the possibility that Neanderthals rather than Homo sapiens were the earliest painters.
That’s not yet certain: The paintings may have been made by humans at an unexpectedly early date, which would itself raise intriguing questions, though none so tantalizing as Neanderthal painters.
“It would not be surprising if the Neanderthals were indeed Europe’s first cave artists,” said João Zilhão, an archaeologist at Spain’s University of Barcelona, at a press conference on June 13.
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Bears Can Count
Let’s keep up the pace, humanity. Other animals are starting to catch up: Scientists trained three American black bears (Ursus Americanus) to discriminate between groups of dots on a touchscreen computer: Two bears learned to pick the group with fewer dots, while the third learned to choose the group with more dots. In some trials, the group with fewer dots took up more space; in others, the dots moved. All three bears could use the number of dots to guide their choices, but the bear trained to pick groups with more dots performed better on its tests and could also discriminate with moving dots, researchers report online this month in the journal Animal Behaviour. Overall, the bears’ performance matched those of monkeys in previous studies, suggesting that animals can evolve impressive cognitive abilities without living in large social groups. Next, they’ll probably learn how to make and use fire. News Story -via DVICE
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Tube Made With Magnetic Tape from VHS Cassettes

Your fancy schmancy DVD and digital videos can't do this: Lithuanian artist Zilvinas Kempinas created "Tube", an 80-foot long tunnel using magnetic tape from VHS cassettes. See more at Laughing Squid and Trinagulation Blog
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The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."
"Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head."
"Thats what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."
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The Annals of Improbable Research, Cosmic Headlights and the Origin of Gamma Ray Bursts.
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Spherical Flying Machine
It may not yet teach train young Jedis to use the Force, but you've got to admit that the spherical flying machine developed by Japan Ministry of Defense is pretty cool:
The drone can hover like a helicopter and take off and land vertically while maintaining an ability to propel itself forward with wings flying at speeds up to 40 mph. There are three gyro-sensors embedded into the drone to maintain altitude and autopilot even if it's flight path is disrupted. And probably most frightening, it can hit the ground and roll in any direction, then immediately pop back up into mid-air. The cost of parts for the machine is approximately US$1400, and the lead engineer Fumiyuki Sato explained that the parts were purchased off the shelf. Link
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The Kiss of Death
Eugene of My Modern Met pointed us to this wonderful piece of Memento Mori artwork, titled the Kiss of Death in Barcelona's Poblenou Cemetery:
According to the story, in 1930, the Llaudet family was mourning the death of their son and created this sculpture for his tomb. The epitaph bears famous verses by one of Catalan's greatest poets, Jacint Verdaguer:
“And his young heart can not help; in his veins the blood stops and freezes and encouragement lost faith embraces
fall feeling the kiss of death”
More pics over at My Modern Met: Link
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Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman.
"Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really *really* hard."
So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below.
Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the hell happened?!?"
Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him."
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It doesn’t take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.
Dogs cannot lie.
Dogs never resist nap time.
You don’t need to get extra phone lines for a dog.
Dogs don’t pester you about getting a kid.
Dogs don’t care if the peas have been touched by the mashed potatoes.
Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old.
Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.
Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42
Average cost of sending a kid: $103,000
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"Grandparents complain that their families don't call them. But in their defense, a lot of the time that people call, grandparents answer the blender." -Craig Ferguson
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"Ride 'em, cowboy!"


That's a bottlenose dolphin trying to shake loose an octopus that has latched on to the dolphin's genital slit.
The dolphin made two leaps before it shook off the cephalopod. "Whales have been reported on numerous occasions to breach," says Gonzalvo, "as a strategy to remove parasites and barnacles."
Found at New Scientist.
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How to Enrich Uranium
Don’t for a minute think that just because you know how it’s done that you can do it! Bill Hammack, the Engineer Guy, explains why every country in the world doesn’t already have nuclear weapons. Uranium comes in two isotopes, but only one is used for bombs. Separating the two is extremely difficult. -Thanks, Bill!
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House Sigils for All Kinds of TV Families
From The Office to House, there are all sorts of shows represented in this goofy set of TV family sigils based on those from Game of Thrones. Can you recognize all the references?
Link Via io9
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No road, no trail can penetrate this forest. The long and delicate branches of its trees lie everywhere, choking space with their exuberant growth. No sunbeam can fly a path tortuous enough to navigate the narrow spaces between these entangled branches. All the trees of this dark forest grew from 100 billion seeds planted together. And, all in one day, every tree is destined to die.
This forest is majestic, but also comic and even tragic. It is all of these things. Indeed, sometimes I think it is everything. Every novel and every symphony, every cruel murder and every act of mercy, every love affair and every quarrel, every joke and every sorrow — all these things come from the forest.
The connectome, that ill-understood map of the brain’s interlocking fingers of communication … it has its critics. Millions of neurons, each linked to countless more, and such an incomplete understanding of that web’s significance or function.
But this passage … this is the stuff of true human poetry, this is the honest tinkering of our physical mind. These are questions that we strive to answer, equipped to do so only with the very mass of neurons that we seek to describe. And there, perhaps, at that boundary, we may remain for some time to come.
(via scinerds)
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Thermo Scientific - More Than A Freezer
It may be a shameless plug for Thermo Scientific, but AWWW THE BACTERIA ARE USING THEIR FLAGELLA TO PLAY TINY GUITARS!!!
I agree! Shameless plug or not, I’m a sucker for bacterial prog rock covers.
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Youre not a slut
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An average human... can perceive a million different colors... Our powers of color vision derive from cells in our eyes called cones, three types in all, each triggered by different wavelengths of light. Every moment our eyes are open, those three flavors of cone fire off messages to the brain. The brain then combines the signals to produce the sensation we call color...

Each cone confers the ability to distinguish around a hundred shades, so the total number of combinations is at least 1003, or a million. Take one cone away—go from being what scientists call a trichromat to a dichromat—and the number of possible combinations drops a factor of 100, to 10,000. Almost all other mammals, including dogs and New World monkeys, are dichromats. The richness of the world we see is rivaled only by that of birds and some insects, which also perceive the ultraviolet part of the spectrum.

Researchers suspect, though, that some people see even more. Living among us are people with four cones, who might experience a range of colors invisible to the rest. It’s possible these so-called tetrachromats see a hundred million colors, with each familiar hue fracturing into a hundred more subtle shades for which there are no names, no paint swatches. And because perceiving color is a personal experience, they would have no way of knowing they see far beyond what we consider the limits of human vision.
The rest of this rather interesting story is at New Scientist.
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Party rock Cantina Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84WpcmJ28Yg
Stormtrooper Shuffle - Star Wars Parody (Everyday I'm Shuffling)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=pYYNWODcCvY
Nice work, my favorite are the Bespin Troopers doing the robot. Nice touch
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"Cab drivers are now illegally overcharging you for made-up charges. I was in a cab today and I was charged $11 for shipping and handling." -David Letterman
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Perrin Ireland likes to tell science stories, but instead of using words she uses her gift for art. Here’s some frames from her recent look at the Human Microbiome Project. The full collection is great.
It’s also nice to see that I’m not the only fan of the iPad app Paper, the best drawing app I’ve ever found :) I drew this a while back.
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"The University of Chicago is hosting an academic conference called 'Jersey Shore Studies.' Meanwhile in Korea, students are learning something called 'math.'" -Jimmy Kimmel
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Awesome 3D Pac-Man Street Art
<img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-68792" title="pac-man-street-art-1" src="http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/pac-man-street-art-1-500x375.jpg"; alt="" width="500" height="375" />
This mind blowing work of 3d street art makes me want to walka-walka-walka on the other side of the street so I don’t get lost in the maze!
Painted, and subsequently, photographed by Leon Keer in Venlo, the Netherlands, this cute and colorful work illustrates the world’s undying love of video games.Link–via Obvious Winner
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Cuttlefish Fights For Spawning Rights
Giant cuttlefish (Sepia apama) look so fluid and graceful in the water! But hold your admiration if you are another cuttlefish, because this one is shoving his rivals out of the way so he can make baby cuttlefish. The stakes are high: The giant cuttlefish is the world’s largest cuttlefish species. They gather in large numbers to mate. During that time, large males compete aggressively for females and small males tend to approach potential mates sneakily. They can mate only once in their lives and the females will die not long after laying eggs.
This footage was taken off Whyalla, South Australia, by photographer Howard Hall. Read more at One World One Ocean. Link
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12 Bizarre Lakes From Around the World
From a boiling, blood-red lake in Japan to a carbon-dioxide-filled lake in Africa, these 12 bodies of water are both absolutely stunning and fascinating. Of course, just because they’re unique doesn’t mean they’re actually places you should go swimming -in fact many of them, including the two I just mentioned could outright kill you. Link
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While a student at Cambridge, Paul Dirac attended a mathematical congress that posed the following problem:
After a big day’s catch, three fisherman go to sleep next to their pile of fish. During the night, one fisherman decides to go home. He divides the fish in three and finds that this leaves one extra fish. He throws this into the water, takes one third of the remaining fish, and departs.
The second fisherman awakes. Not knowing that the first has left, he too divides the fish into three piles, finds one fish left over, discards it, and takes a third of the remainder. The third fisherman does the same. What is the least number of fish that the fishermen could have started with?
Dirac proposed that they had begun with -2 fish. The first fisherman threw one into the water, leaving -3, and took a third of this, leaving -2. The second and third fisherman followed suit.
This story was recalled by “a well-meaning experimenter” in the Russian miscellany Physicists Continue to Laugh (1968). “I could tell many other stories about theoreticians and their work,” he wrote, “but they have told me that one theoretician is writing a story under the title ‘How Experimental Physicists Work.’ That, of course, will be presented upside down.”
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Everyone in Lyndon Johnson’s family had the same initials: Lyndon Baines Johnson, Lady Bird Johnson, Lynda Bird Johnson, and Luci Baines Johnson. His dog was named Little Beagle Johnson.
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An anonymous proof that heaven is hotter than hell, from Applied Optics, August 1972:
The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed from available data. Our authority is the Bible: Isaiah 30:26 reads, Moreover the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days. Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as the Earth does from the Sun and in addition seven times seven (forty-nine) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is a ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of Heaven: The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, Heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann fourth-power law for radiation
grate beyond power law
where E is the absolute temperature of the Earth — 300K. This gives H as 798K absolute (525°C).
The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6°C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. Revelations 21:8: But the fearful and unbelieving … shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone. A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point it would be a vapor, not a lake.)
We have then, temperature of Heaven, 525°C. Temperature of Hell, less than 445°C. Therefore, Heaven is hotter than Hell.
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Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it's closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times." And with that he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams down a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those Decon tablets, cut 'em up, and snort 'em just for the fun of it." And with that he slams another shot.
The third mouse slams down a shot, gets up and walks away. The first two mice look at each other, and then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?"
The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to fuck the cat."
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Portland On The Web: TMZ, Byron Beck, Seattle Times & More

The internet was atwitter this week with news that The Real World (that's still happening, huh?) would be filming a season here in Portland town. Rumour has it the cast must get jobs at a coffee shop two days a week, a fixed gear bike and several ironic tattoos. I hope they like goats.

Speaking of TV no one watches, two stars from NBC's Grimm took some heat this week for not baring all during Portland's Naked Bike Ride, saying they wanted to keep their jobs. If they had bared all, however, they could take comfort in knowing Portland is #1 in healthy skin according to a completely non-scientific survey by Daily Glow. Scientific or not, we beat Seattle at #3 and that's good enough for us. Here's a round up of what the internet had to say about Portland this week:

Byron Beck: True Story: MTV's Real World to Shoot in Portland
Goatlandia: Live Portland Goat Cam
TMZ: Grimm stars commit cardinal sin in naked bike ride
Star Telegram: Portland, the Austin of Oregon, lives up to quirky, TV hype
The Seattle Times: Seattle has nice skin, except for that melanoma thing
OPB News: Famous Oregon coach and star protege are a study in contrasts
OregonLive: Astoria, not Portland, brings big opera stars to Oregon
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Survival of the Fittest Slugs
<img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-68804" title="upUL7" src="http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/upUL7-500x576.jpg"; alt="" width="500" height="576" />
Now that’s one way to deal with an infestation. In case you were curious how things turned out, it turns out only one died so far, the rest turned back after taking in the scope of the challenge.
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The Evolution Of 8-Bit Art
The PBS series Off Book is back with another look at a cutting edge artform, this time focusing on the gamer friendly world of 8-bit art.
8-bit art has become even more popular since the good old days of video game consoles, and has even spawned an awesomely geeky form of electronic music to occupy your time between gaming sessions.
So sit back and wax nostalgic as colorful, but not too colorful, pixels dance across the screen to that charmingly minimal 8-bit sound!
–via Geekosystem
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If you think you're too small to make a difference,
you haven't been in bed with a mosquito.
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http://www.neatorama.com/2012/06/19/lost-attractions/
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Future Novelists... These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it
She grew on him like E. Coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever.

He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resemble Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a really duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.

He was deeply in love when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.
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What’s not to love about a choral suite inspired by and set to the words of the great Carl Sagan? Kenley Kristofferson penned this beautiful work using the late Sagan’s inspiring writings as his lyric. You can see more details about the three movements here, but here’s Kristofferson’s take on Sagan’s influence:
“Carl Sagan has taught me how beautiful science and the universe can be, and that understanding something enriches the experience, but doesn’t take away from the mystery that draws us to the big questions of life. He taught me that the sciences are beautiful; the natural world is elegant; and for such small creatures as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.”
I couldn’t agree more :) This is music to travel through the cosmos by, if, perhaps, only in our minds.

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mad-as-a-marine-biologist:  This is the first time Humpback Whale, Megaptera novaeangliae, mating has ever been documented / Pic: Jason: Edwards.  Australian photographer Jason Edwards, who took the images off Tonga, was stunned by the “brief but tender” copulation. While humpback “heat runs” - in which 15m-long, 40-tonne males fight to win a female’s attention - have been well documented, and often wrongly described as mating, this is the first time the actual act of copulation has been photographed, the National Geographic Channel said. “It was amazing. There were four or five males vying for her attention and while the larger ones were busy jostling each other, the smallest one swam away with the female,” Mr Edwards said yesterday. “Their coupling lasted less than 30 seconds, which might explain why it’s never been captured on film before.” 30 seconds in heaven is better than 20 seconds in heaven.   Between fossilized turtles caught in the act (a “slow poke”) and the depravity of kinky penguins (check my archive), this is “Rare Mating Week” I guess?
This is the first time Humpback Whale, Megaptera novaeangliae, mating has ever been documented / Pic: Jason: Edwards. Australian photographer Jason Edwards, who took the images off Tonga, was stunned by the “brief but tender” copulation. While humpback “heat runs” - in which 15m-long, 40-tonne males fight to win a female’s attention - have been well documented, and often wrongly described as mating, this is the first time the actual act of copulation has been photographed, the National Geographic Channel said. “It was amazing. There were four or five males vying for her attention and while the larger ones were busy jostling each other, the smallest one swam away with the female,” Mr Edwards said yesterday. “Their coupling lasted less than 30 seconds, which might explain why it’s never been captured on film before.”
Between fossilized turtles caught in the act (a “slow poke”) and the depravity of kinky penguins (check my archive), this is “Rare Mating Week” I guess?
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Monsters University Teaser
The sequel to the Pixar film Monsters, Inc. is expected to be out next summer, and the first teasers are out now. This time, the monsters are in college, which only makes sense, as the kids who watched the first movie in theaters in 2001 will be in college by then. -via Geekosystem
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QUOTE: "There can be as much value in the blink of an eye as in months of rational analysis."


HINT: (1963-), Canadian journalist, bestselling author, and speaker.

ANSWER: Malcolm Gladwell.
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How to Make Potato Chips That Look Like Shards of Glass

<img src="http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/glass.jpg"; alt="" title="glass" width="500" height="332" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-68852" />
Strictly speaking, Instructables user lmnopeas uses potato stock and starch, thus heathenously violating the integrity of the potato chip. But the stock comes from actual whole potatoes, so he is starting from the proper point.
lmnopeas reduces the stock to a gel, which he then shapes into shingles. He deep fries the singles, which turn into translucent potato chips. Link -via Geekosystem
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Why is hemp still illegal? There are so many environmentally friendly things it can do, it is almost a crime not to exploit them.

The growing of hemp in Great Britain was legalized in 1993 and since then it has becoming a booming industry.

It needs half the fertilizer required for wheat and uses no additional chemicals. It is used in the textile industry to make clothes, in the automotive industry instead of fiberglass to make things like car door panels, it is used in the housing industry for insulation materials and a mix of lime and hemp used as a building material is cheaper and stronger than concrete and has huge insulating value.

And this video does not even touch on it's use as a paper product or as a biofuel. Hemp is so versatile it is a crime that it is not grown in the United States.

Cannabis Economics - Hemp Car - Hemp Clothes - Hemp Building

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Who is it that rows quickly with four oars but never comes out from under his own roof?

ANSWER: A turtle.

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QUOTE: "Drama is life with the dull bits cut out."

HINT: (1899-1980), English film director and producer.

ANSWER: Alfred Hitchcock.
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O (Omicron)
O (Omicron) is an art installation by Romain Tardy & Thomas Vaquié. Through the magic of projection, Centennial Hall (Hala Stulecia) in Warsaw, Poland is turned into a piece of performance art. Watch and imagine you are in the spaceship from Close Encounters of the Third Kind (or your favorite sci-fi craft). You can see a “making -of” video at their site. Link -via The Daily What Geek
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Pachanelly Canon
http://youtu.be/SzbiqPJBATc
A cappella group Gentleman’s Rule perform a mashup of Pachelbel’s “Canon in D” and Nelly’s song ”Ride Wit Me.” The result is downright fun! -via The Daily What
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And the Most Peaceful Country in the World Is…
According to the Institute for Economics & Peace, the most peaceful country in the world is Iceland. Yes, the country that disrupted air travel across Europe with its spewing, unpronounceable volcano a couple of years ago. Icelanders have an upside for everything: they use the energy of volcanoes for heat.
Iceland is one of the most progressive nations on the planet: its welfare system offers health care and higher education for each of its 320,000 citizens; it is powered in large part by renewable geothermal energy (see volcanoes, above); and it was one of the first countries in the world to legalize gay marriage.
Tying for second place are Denmark and New Zealand. Try to guess the nation that came in dead last before you check out the article at TIME Newsfeed. Link
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One Man's Sunset is another Man's Dawn. -- Fievel Mouskawitz
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Exoplanets, all that we have verified. And if you don’t feel like clicking on the link and viewing the mouse-over text, a little extrapolation says that just the likely planets in our one galaxy would require a chart three to four orders of magnitude larger. So yeah, there’s a lot of planets out there.
Let’s ensure we have the best tools to study them, shall we?
(via xkcd
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A jelly good morning to you, too! This picture of beautiful Cnidaria comes from the fine folks at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the fine folks behind the Seafood Watch sustainable catch food list. Where’s Crush?
This picture of beautiful Cnidaria comes from the fine folks at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the fine folks behind the Seafood Watch sustainable catch food list.
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RANDOM TIDBITS

When a lobsters lay their eggs, only one in 1,000 will survive and mature.

Lobsters are like father time. They can live for a 100 plus years if they aren't caught and eaten for dinner.

Lobsters aren't naturally red; they only change colors when boiled.

A lobster's brain is located in its throat.

Lobsters actually taste with their feet. Even more strange is that they breathe and listen through their legs.

At one time, eating lobster wasn't a status of wealth; instead, it was considered food for the poor.
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"It looks like blind screaming hedonism won out."
-- the most appropriate fortune quote I've ever got
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Molting Lobster - Ocean Realm
http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=12531
Lobsters are the nocturnal scavengers of the sea, and must molt once a year to shed their hard exoskeleton like some insects. Watch this clip, as the amazing process is captured in Ocean Realms.
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Denniston's law:
Virtue is its own punishment.
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Random Facts:

In the United States, there is little difference between the terms “college” and “university.” However, the term “college” in other countries, such as Canada, refers to a junior college or trade college, where as a “university” is larger, more research focused, and usually contains multiple colleges.


The word “alumnus” is Latin meaning “a pupil” and, literally, a “foster son.”
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Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why isn't your ear 12 inches long?
A: If it were, it would be a foot.


Q: What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
A: The space bar.


Q: Why did the man quit smoking cold turkey?
A: Because the feathers made him cough.


Q: How do snowmen travel around?
A: By ice-icle!

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I just read a story about a California woman who said a mountain lion that wandered onto her property was cornered by a gang of unlikely guardians, her trio of toy chihuahuas.

Ana Lee Spray, 23, said she was awakened Saturday morning by the sound of her three chihuahuas barking at the top of their tiny lungs at the opening of her garage.

Spray said she looked out her daughter's window to investigate the ruckus and was shocked to see her gang of 3-pound dogs had cornered an angry-looking cougar in the garage.

The homeowner said the chihuahuas' barking kept the animal, which appeared to be foaming at the mouth, at bay for 45 minutes until Riverside County Sheriff's deputies arrived.

"When they saw the dogs they said 'These little things?' When they saw the mountain lion their jaws dropped," Spray said. "They radioed, 'This is a full-size mountain lion and it is not happy to see us.'"

Spray said the cougar made a run for it after officers from the Department of Fish and Game shot it with tranquilizers and she did not see the eventual capture.
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"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy --
in a jar on my desk." -- Steven King, 3/8/90
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Dragon Statue Made Out Of CD Shards
This dragon statue has a real sharp look about it, and it was once able to hold many megabytes of information, so it’s (somewhat) useful! It’s an opalescent dragon for the information age, and the many sharp edges will make you feel alive again…with pain! 136 blank CDs were harmed in the making of this dragon statue…
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The First 70: Closing Parks In California
The state of California is set to close 70 state parks in an effort to save money (which is a bad idea in itself and probably won’t work). This means that thousands of acres of natural history and beauty will no longer be maintained. But the parks will not be erased. Instead, they will just lose their protectors, left to rot and deteriorate. How will we save them from polluters now? From vandals? From fire? How will we preserve these unspoiled lands and the life they contain? The First 70 is a film project to draw attention to this misguided effort. Visit their site to find out how you can see the film and what you can do to help.
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RANDOM TIDBITS

The closing credits in recent films are so long because of various unions that negotiated on-screen recognition as a way for behind-the-scenes folks to "sign" their work. This "signature" serves as a visual resume and helps carpenters, electricians, and so on secure jobs on future movie productions.
 


 
 
A Foley artist is a sound effects specialist. Every sound in a film that isn't dialog or music is considered a sound effect. Interestingly enough, Jack Foley, the Universal Studios sound effects pioneer for whom the technique is named, never received an on-screen credit.

The opening credits of a movie follow a very specific format. The studio's name and logo appear first, followed by the name of the production company. The next credit lists the investor(s) who backed the film. After the money guys are listed, the director gets his first credit (usually listed as "a film by...").

A film today sometimes lists as many as a dozen producers, but most of them aren't actually producers; they're friends, personal assistants, or even fitness trainers of the film's stars. They get a production credit as a special "perk" of their relationship.

Sometimes an actor is billed as "special guest star" or "and also starring." This is usually a deal negotiated by an agent for so-called "name" stars who have small parts in films.

Some actors use three names because there is already another performer in the Screen Actors Guild Directory with their name. But others use it as a marketing tool; the longer the name, the more screen space it fills during the credits, making it stand out that much more among the other names.
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Drew Barrymore - ET Phone Home
http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=620
After the amazing success of Steven Spielberg's timeless classic E.T., child actress Drew Barrymore became a Hollywood star at the age of 7. And after a long break from the movie scene, she now has a handful of romantic comedies under her belt.
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Mounting Your Solargraph Camera - Some Tips
The solstice is upon us! Well, as we publish this video anyway. With the Sun at its peak in the Northern Hemisphere (minimum in the Southern), now is the prime time start your solargraph.
New to the Sun Project and need details on what it’s all about? Look here. Want to build your own solargraph camera and join in? Even if you miss the solstice, you can start any time, don’t worry! Check here for our how-to video and build your own. We want to get cameras on every continent, so get going! Anyone have a friend in Antarctica?-Joe
Here I am on a blazing hot roof in the Austin summer sun with some seriously high winds, giving some tips on how to mount a solargraph camera. It’s the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere and the Sun is at it’s highest point. That means today’s the best day to start a solargraph. If you’d like to be a part of our global project, it’s not to late to start! Check the links above for more.
And seriously, anyone have a friend in Antarctica?
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This Jet Powered Go Kart Looks Like Deadly Fun
This jet powered go kart looks like a good idea on paper that can go horribly wrong when you actually get behind the wheel. Built by daredevil/airplane parts salesman Seth Kettleman, this is the perfect vehicle for the YOLO generation, and is guaranteed to burn your face off if you stand too close! Link–via Gamma Squad
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Advice in Abundance

Unsolicited advice free and abundant:
So much of it there its often redundant.

When I was a lad and easily impressed:
I listened and nodded at the experts' behest.

Opinions they flaunted on a scale universal:
Expounding at length without forethought or rehearsal.

With style and emotion, each made a case:
Of factual content there was rarely a trace.

Middle age found me as the consummate cynic:
Quick to retort and given to mimic.

With the passage of time I relaxed my position:
Improvised wisdom doesn't require a logician.

In the twilight of life there is time for a chat:
I now render advice at the drop of a hat.

Copyright; Jay
Email: aamori@webtv.net
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Man sues state over deer attack --*

MARIN COUNTY, Calif. - A California man is suing the state Department of Fish and Game, claiming a "mismanaged" wild deer attacked him, a court document shows. Thadeusz Wyrzykowski of Bolinas said in his handwritten court filing that he suffered injuries from falling into a window after deer jumped into his fenced yard last spring and "attacked me (twice) on a narrow path." Asking for unspecified damages, he wrote in his filing that the wildlife department "mismanaged negligently its animal its claims & duties." A case management conference was scheduled for Oct. 19 in Marin Superior Court, the Marin Independent Journal reported Monday. The newspaper said Wyrzykowski filed another handwritten lawsuit in federal court last year against the Marin County Assessor-Recorder's Office over the county's efforts to collect overdue property taxes from him, in which he described himself as an "independent dignity ambassador" and "orator/scholar/artist." Deputy County Counsel Edward Kiernan called that suit full of "nonsensical, irrelevant non sequitors" and "legally meaningless and pointless facts." That suit was dismissed, the newspaper noted.
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"Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain


"Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange." - Robin Morgan


"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right." - Isaac Asimov
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50 Best Opening Lines in Movies
http://www.shortlist.com/entertainment/films/50-best-opening-lines-in-movies
Now I don't know if these are indeed the 50 best opening lines, but there are many memorable ones.
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Top 10 Signs You Have A Bad History Teacher -*

1. Constantly gets Indonesia and Outdonesia confused.

2. As incentive for learning, when you name a state capital, you get to take a shot.

3. Insists that one of Popes during the Roman empire was Pope Bubba.

4. Thinks that Mussolini was Hitler's favorite pasta.

5. Counts Puerto Rico, Mexico and Canada as "technically" U.S. States.

6. Tells you that it's Napoleon that's the ice cream that comes in 3 flavors in one box.

7. Insists that the Great Depression could have been stopped with the right amount of Lithium.

8. Threatens to reenact Salem Witch Trials/Burnings if homework is not turned in on time.

9. Claims that it was Martin and Lewis that were the great explorers of the West.

10. Credits David Hasselhoff and not Democracy for the fall of the Berlin Wall.

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No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow your progress,
you are still way ahead of everyone who isn't even trying.
~ Tony Robbins

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"As a major celestial event, the Summer Solstice results in the longest day and the shortest night of the year. Awed by the great power of the sun, civilizations have for centuries celebrated the first day of summer otherwise known as the Summer Solstice, Midsummer (see Shakespeare), St. John's Day, or the Celtic/Wiccan Litha."
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http://youtu.be/VgKMGwfo5sg
David Coulthard breaks Guinness World Record for fastest hole-in-one.
Thanks Ed ~ Boy & their toys ~ and great smiles.
Now That’s What I Call A DriveYou’ll realize what a terrible pun that headline is when you take a look at the video, which documents a world record attempt at catching a golf ball with a moving car.
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Dog left in hot car Wednesday dies
http://www.kgw.com/news/local/Dog-dies-after-left-in-hot-car-Wednesday-159808235.html
A dog left in a car in Wednesday’s hot temperatures died of heat stroke and animal-lovers are spreading warnings, hoping it won’t happen again.
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You can keep rubbing alcohol, a H2O jug and a towel in your car. Bicyclists making dogs run too long too far, too fast can kill them, blister feet, etc. If you see any animal in distress wrap it in cool NOT COLD(shocks them/can kill) wet towel and use alcohol on the tummy to cool down faster. Call police in a parking lot right away, the animal or kids can get brain damaged in seconds. No amount of... open windows will work in a hot car. Vets say there must be a vent in the floor and the roof for the air to cool enough to be even possibly safe. Make flyers and put them on cars with pets, wait for the owner and try to educate them ( I was called a b...h and told what to do with myself but who cares?) Do the right thing tell people to LEAVE THEIR PETS HOME ON HOT DAYS THX
Thanks Jymmi
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##OKI FLaSH MOB## . LMFAO Party Rock Anthem
We are US Military Service Members stationed in Okinawa, Japan: MARINES, NAVY, AIR FORCE, & ARMY ... We are US Military Family Members ... We are elementary, middle, and high school students ... We are DoDEA Teachers & Civilians ... We are Okinawans.

We are ##OKI FLaSH MOB##
And We came to PARTY ROCK!
American Village - Mihama
Okinawa, Japan
11 June 2011
LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem
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Love Stephen King? This one is for you: Gillian James of Tessiegirl blog mapped the connections between characters in Stephen King universe. Take a look at the full Stephen King flowchart over at Gillian's blog: Link- via Flowing Data
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One thing San Juan Capistrano will never be is BORING! I'm rooting for the dinasaur.
Mission neighbors object to new dinosaur statue at petting zoo | abc7.com
Some San Juan Capistrano residents say a new dinosaur statue just doesn't fit into the historic Los Rios Neighborhood
Thanks, Steve ~ Here in (Weird) Portland, we would already have named it, had songs written about it, someone would have designed a dino-bicycle to honor it, and, of course don't forget the dyno-beers! Coprolite happens!
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Keep calm-o-matic.
Link to this Poster: http://bit.ly/MDRzE6
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Dirt Roads - by Paul Harvey
What's mainly wrong with society today is that too many Dirt Roads have been paved. There's not a problem in America today, crime, drugs, education, divorce, delinquency that wouldn't be remedied, if we just had more Dirt Roads, because Dirt Roads give character.

People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life is a bumpy ride. That it can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it's worth it, if at the end is home...a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog.

We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids, from whom they learn how to get along. There was less crime in our streets before they were paved.

Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew they'd be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel shotgun, and there were no drive by shootings. Our values were better when our roads were worse!


People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous, they didn't tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust and bust your windshield with rocks. Dirt Roads taught patience.

Dirt Roads were environmentally friendly, you didn't hop in your car for a quart of milk you walked to the barn for your milk. For your mail, you walked to the mail box.

What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony rode on Daddy's shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody.

At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words tasted like soap.

Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole. At the end of a Dirt Road, the only time we even locked our car was in August, because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini.

At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you'd have to hitch up a team and pull them out. Usually you got a dollar...always you got a new friend...at the end of a Dirt Road!
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Tourists trying to figure out how to reach the capital’s monuments and museums on Wednesday found something on the National Mall that was not on their maps: 857 student desks arrayed near the Washington Monument.
Each desk represents one of the 857 students who drop out of high school in the United States every single hour, every single school day, according to the College Board, which arranged the display to underline its effort to urge presidential candidates to put education at the top of their to-do lists.
The board had nearly a dozen people, iPads in hand, gathering signatures in nearly 100-degree weather for an online petition that said: “If you want my support, I need to hear more from you about how you plan to fix the problems with education. And not just the same old platitudes. I want to know that you have real, tangible solutions, and that once in office, you’re ready to take serious action. I’ll be watching your acceptance speech at your party’s convention…”
The man responsible for executing the display is Adam Hollander, 38, of New York, executive creative producer for Brand Marketers. “We now live in a very visual culture,” he said, his complexion florid after hours in the sun on Tuesday. “Now, you have to see it to believe it. Everybody hears that 857 number, but it doesn’t really mean anything until you’re able to see it.”
Both President Obama and Mitt Romney, his presumptive Republican opponent, often mention the importance of education, usually in the context of fixing the country’s economy and creating jobs, or of making college more affordable — the subject of a speech by Mr. Obama in January. In a speech in May, Mr. Romney proposed allowing poor and disabled students to use federal money to attend any public, private or online school they choose.
Taxpayer-funded vouchers for parents who want to send their kids to private schools has absolutely nothing to do with improving our public school system.
Thanks, Ed
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Starry Night by Vincent Van Dominogh
Domino artist FlippyCat recreated the iconic Van Gogh painting Starry Night in dominoes -7,000 of them! Watching the build process is a real treat, although I’m glad it was sped up. As a bonus, we get to see a bit of the clean up and some outtakes as well. -via Buzzfeed
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Lost Attractions from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader.
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Curiosity’s Seven Minutes of Terror
NASA’s newest Mars probe, Curiosity, is scheduled to land on Mars on August 6th, 2012. It won’t be easy. You can follow the latest updates at NASA’s Mars Science Laboratory site. Link -via Metafilter
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Putting Cats in Jail?
No, no one is really locking cats behind bars. Instead prisoners are being increasingly given the option to take care of cats:
For one jail in Nebraska, it was as simple as adopting a couple of cats to help the inmates while away the hours in a healthy manner. The inmates are solely responsible for the care of the cats. In an unusual and highly unlikely twist of fate, inmates are lining up for a turn at cat care, even if that means having to don hazmat gear to clean the litter box.
Of course, giving lonely men in prison the option to take care of some kitties does open the way for some raunchy jokes, but I’ll leave those to your imaginations. Link
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Preview Of Animated Series “Gravity Falls”
Gravity Falls is a new animated TV show, created by Alan Hirsch, that will air on the Disney Channel starting June 29th. This surprisingly fun, and beautifully animated, show is about two kids from the big city sent to spend the summer with their uncle in a strange Oregon town called Gravity Falls, where things get a bit weird in The Mystery Shack. Take a look at this short preview, and have your faith in (PG rated) television animation instantly renewed! –via Cartoon Brew
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20 Weird and Cool Beds to Inspire Fantastical Dreams
Most of these beds might not actually help you sleep any better, but they’ll certainly spruce up an otherwise boring bedroom. In fact, while some of these are obviously intended to be kid’s beds, I would love to convert them into queen-sized versions.Link
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In 1948, George Washington University doctoral student Ralph Alpher was working on a cosmology thesis under physicist George Gamow. As the paper took shape, “Gamow, with the usual twinkle in his eye, suggested that we add the name of Hans Bethe to an Alpher-Gamow letter to the editor of the Physical Review,” listing the authors as Alpher-Bethe-Gamow.
Bethe agreed to join, and the result, now known as the αβγ paper, was published on April 1, 1948 (“believe it or not, a date not of our asking”). “The response was fascinating,” Alpher later recalled, “ranging from feature articles, Sunday supplement stories, newspaper cartoons and voluminous mail from religious fundamentalists, to a packed audience of over 200, including members of the press, at the traditionally public (though usually not in this sense) ‘defence’ of the thesis.”
Gamow added, “There was, however, a rumor that later, when the alpha, beta, gamma theory went temporarily on the rocks, Dr. Bethe seriously considered changing his name to Zacharias.”
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The most crazy MIDI ever! - Necrofantasia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mS8FEfhYvEo
This is just like "the matrix rain" on the piano
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Watch the Tesla electric car being made
They went on sale Friday, June 22
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Trivia Tidbits:
The pouch on a pelican’s beak can hold up to 2 gal. ofwater.
Bubble gum was invented in 1906. It’s original name: “Blibber-Blubber.”
The scientific term for left-handedness is sinistrality. Right-handedness is dextrality.
With 5,175 sq. miles of lakes and streams, Texas is second only to Alaska in volume of inland water.
James Dean was the first actor to receive a posthumous Oscar nomination.
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Angel Flight (Radio Tower Remix)
 
Angel Flights are the U.S. Air Force planes (C-130′s) used to fly home our Fallen Soldiers. Angel Flight is also their call sign. In addition, Angel Flights have top priority in U.S. Airspace – as you saw the Towers say “number 1 for landing/takeoff” …. now of course, I know, there are other flights that have an even higher priority … but in reference to other standard military flights, Angel Flights get number 1 priority.
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From “The Ray Stevens TV Show” at 1970.
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Sherwin Nuland on electroshock therapy
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If you like sampling new beers or hate having money, you might want to try one of these.

1. Sapporo’s Space Barley

Price: $110/six-pack

In 2006, Japanese and Russian scientists tested how well barley could grow in space. They rocketed barley seeds to the International Space Station and planted them aboard the Zvezda Service Module. After spending five months in orbit, the fourth-generation of barley was brought back to earth, where Japanese brewer Sapporo fermented it into the world’s first space beer. A six-pack costs $110—not bad, considering it was imported from the cosmos.
If you’d like a cheaper space brew, try 4pines Vostok Space Beer. The stout is the first zero-gravity beer. Not only is it drinkable in space, but it’s cheaper, too: $20 for a six-pack. It’s perfect for anyone who’s dreamt of imbibing where no man has imbibed before.

Read the full text here: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/130875#ixzz1yUSZrDWG
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Quiz: Weird City Names
Here’s a quiz for anyone who has ever traveled the country, seen a sign, and asked, “Is that really the town’s name?” When you’re done, let us know if there are any oddly named places in your part of the world.
Take the Quiz: Weird City Names
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From an interesting article at Salon: Last week, a press release from Chicago’s Office of the Mayor proclaimed... a plan to get rid of the city’s “excess asphalt.”

It wasn’t a proposal for a big new park or recreational facility, but a plan to take little bits of public space here and there — streets, parking spots, alleyways — and turn them into places for people. It was the latest example of a municipal government taking an active role in tactical urbanism, that low-cost, low-commitment, incremental approach to city building — the “let’s not build a stadium” strategy.

For a long time, tactical urbanism was associated with guerrilla gardeners and fly-by-night pop-up parks, whereas large-scale “city planning” was seen as the job of bureaucrats with blueprints. But more and more often, City Hall is taking a more active (as opposed to purely reactive) role in these types of smaller, cheaper, localized efforts, and sometimes even leading them...

Today, cities have less money but more ways to communicate, two conditions perfectly suited to more focused, low-cost planning. Now you can home in on a specific neighborhood (or even just a few blocks), find out what the residents there want or need, cheaply implement it on a trial basis, and make it permanent if it works...

New York and San Francisco were early adopters, but Ethan Kent, vice president of the nonprofit Project for Public Spaces (PPS), says that until recently, such efforts existed as “a cool trend, but not the paradigm shift” that’s now transforming official policy...

“This isn’t just hanging flower baskets. It’s enabling communities to showcase their identity in the public realm.”
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Three Teens and a Deputy Injured in Drunk-driving Simulation
Drinking and driving don’t mix. You know what else doesn’t mix? Teenage drivers and drunk-simulating goggles. A group of Explorer’s Club members in Elkhart, Indiana were taking turns driving around a parking lot in a golf cart wearing the goggles, which distort the wearer’s vision. Around 7 p.m. investigators believe the 14-year-old driver took a turn too hard and then over-corrected, causing the cart to tip. A gust of wind then blew the cart on its side. A 15-year-old passenger in the rear of the cart was airlifted to Memorial Hospital with numbness to his arms. Alex Whitehead, 18, was hospitalized with shoulder, arm and neck pain. The 14-year-old driver was hospitalized with head pain. Ptl. Bob Smith was later driven to Elkhart General with foot pain and minor cuts. All were treated and released Monday evening. The golf cart sustained some damage, and was taken out of service. Link -via Boing Boing
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Imagine
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Thanks, Mike
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Meet the Steve Jobs of your morning brew
The product was a life-saving technology that avoided the transmission of disease from communal "tin dippers"
Think Fast
Jack Kerouac won a scholarship to play which sport at Columbia University?
Basketball
Football
Baseball
Soccer
(Think Fast Answer: Football) Jack Kerouac won a scholarship to play football at Columbia University, but he broke his leg during his first year. He eventually dropped out of Columbia.
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Ask Smithsonian
Q: Did Mathew Brady really take all the Civil War photographs that are credited to him?
— Patrick Ian, Bethesda, Maryland

A: No. By 1861, Mathew Brady was one of the best-known photographers in America, with portrait studios in New York City and Washington, D.C. While his staff handled day-to-day operations, Brady provided the creative vision and marketing expertise that made his studios famous. When the Civil War began, he assembled and outfitted teams of photographers and sent them into the field to ensure that his cameras would be present to produce a visual record of the conflict. Although Brady traveled periodically to battlefields and encampments, the Civil War photographs that carry his credit line were typically made by his cameramen. The look of the portraits produced in Brady's studios—such as those featured in the National Portrait Gallery's new exhibition, Mathew Brady's Photographs of Union Generals (March 30, 2012-May 31, 2015)—reflected his aesthetic even when he was not present for the portrait session.
— Ann M. Shumard, Curator of Photographs National Portrait Gallery
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I went to my dentist yesterday and while he had both hands in my mouth up to his wrists he was telling me about how he drives ninety minutes, one way, every weekend to cut his brother-in-law's acre-sized lawn while he is out of town for an extended period.
"Ow wong ab ou een a endist?" I asked with the sucky tube in my mouth.
"Oh, going on twenty-five years, now."
"An you shill cud your bruffer-in-wa's wawn?" I asked.
"Oh, I don't mind. It makes my wife happy that we can help him out."
"Oc," I pointed out, "at's ut Gog reated exicans or."

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"A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old." -Craig Ferguson
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Oregon Aurora

Photo: Brad Goldpaint - view more fantastic shots at Brad's website
Photographer Brad Goldpaint captured the northern lights over Crater Lake, Oregon, like you've never seen before:
A double-burst of solar particles sparked auroral lights over the weekend, as expected — but at least in some parts of the world, the colors were not what you'd expect. Instead of the typical greenish glow, observers reported seeing reds, pinks, violets and even blues.
Alan Boyle of MSNBC's Photoblog has more: Link
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Robots Sing BoRhap
How would you like a music player that sings to you, nods its head, and even winks? These robotic heads come from the Korea Institute of Science and Technology’s Center for Intelligent Robotics, where they were created to entertain the elderly through song. The performance gets more complex—and more bizarre—as the song goes on, and the bots are surprisingly good at conveying that certain feeling of despair. (Enjoy, elderly!) By far the hardest thing to understand, though, is why four heads would stop at the exact moment when everybody head-bangs to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Talk about a missed opportunity. Link -via Buzzfeed
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Picture of the Big Bang
Minute Physics explains cosmic background radiation -the oldest light. There’s an interactive map to accompany the information in this video. Link -via Geeks Are Sexy
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Let's hear it for the boys!
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A World with No Math
It’s not a world I want to live in. This is a cause I support, help spread the word and do what you can to bring basic math skills to underprivileged kids around the world! The fastest ride up the ladder of opportunity is through education.
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Happy Whale Spurts Rainbow out of Its Blowhole
Whales aren’t that far removed from humans. Maybe we could blow rainbows, too. But how?
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Comedy Video – Hughes The Force
Hughes The Force is a geeky fanmade video with lots of heart. It’s a loving tribute to Star Wars, geekdom and the films of John Hughes (mostly Weird Science).
It comes to you courtesy of Kevin Smith’s YouTube channel, and it’s hosted by Kevin’s pal Jason Mewes, but it seems rather tame by their standards. Nevertheless, it’s a fun way to waste half an hour!
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Fishing or Fucking....

#19 - No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still Fish.
#18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.
#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.
#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.
#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
#14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good Fishing person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
#11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.
#7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for Fishing harassment.
#6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
#5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
#4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?

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Force does not constitute right...obedience is due only to legitimate powers.~ Rousseau
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Sex Toy / Mushroom News Report
Here’s the Chinese TV news report from this earlier story.
Not a mushroom
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After Viral Video, Chinese Street Cleaner Tries to Sell Sex Toy as Magical Mushroom

It was probably inevitable. When there is money to be made in China, strike while the iron is still hot.
No sooner had the video segment of intrepid Chinese reporter Ye Yunfeng and an entire Chinese village mistaking a soft rubber, double-ended sex toy for a mystical taisui mushroom gone viral around the world did a cellphone video appear of a street hawker attempting to sell the same sex toy as the magic mushroom.
This new video, apparently uploaded Wednesday onto the Chinese video-sharing site 56.com, shows a street cleaner – probably moonlighting as hawker – sitting next to a makeshift spread of sex toys on an unidentified city sidewalk.
The man is trying to pass the rubber sex toys as taisui mushrooms – the fungus of legend that the First Emperor of China so desperately sought as a longevity drug.
Ever the salesman, the hawker even has printed literature for his prospective customers, introducing the health benefits of the mushrooms along with Ye Yunfeng’s original viral-status “Xi’an Up Close” TV segment playing on loop on his portable DVD player.
To top it off, his asking price for these soiled sex-toys-posing-as-path-to-longevity? The equivalent of $2,800.
“It’s on the news. How can it be fake?” the hawker snapped back without a hint of irony when asked by the crowd how the mushrooms could be real.
One has to admire his audacity. He’s even got extras taisuis floating in a bucket of water next to him. You know, to keep them fresh.
The new video can be seen by clicking here.
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A puzzle by Noboyuki Yoshigahara:
“An odd number plus an odd number makes an even number. An even number plus an odd number makes an odd number. An even number plus an even number is an even number. Right?”
“Yes.”
“An odd number times an odd number is an odd number. An even number times an odd number is an even number. Right?”
“Sure.”
“An even number times an even number is an odd number. Right?”
“Huh?”
“You don’t think so? An even number times an even number is an odd number.”
“Why?”
~~~
AN ODD NUMBER PLUS AN ODD NUMBER has 26 characters, etc.
Yoshigahara notes, “This puzzle works in Japanese as well.”
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procerity
n. tallness
leptodactylous
adj. having slender toes or fingers
leptorrhine
adj. having a long, narrow nose
leptosome
n. a thin, frail, or slender person
windlestraw
n. a tall, thin person
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A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.
Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?"
The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98.
Attached to it was an invoice that read: "Legal Consultation Service: $150."
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There was an old man said, “I fear
That life, my dear friends, is a bubble,
Still, with all due respect to a Philistine ear,
A limerick’s best when it’s double.”
When they said, “But the waste
Of time, temper, taste!”
He gulped down his ink with cantankerous haste,
And chopped off his head with a shubble.
– Walter de la Mare
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A neighbor of mine, Myron, in his mid-50's, had a relatively minor heart attack, and while he was in the hospital, he complained to his cardiologist that he thought that his sex life was over.
The cardiologist said, "Not true, Myron. Sex is wonderful exercise for your heart. After you get home, you should have sex 3 or 4 times a week. It'll be the best thing you can do for your recovery."
So after his discharge (from the hospital), Myron tells his wife what the doctor had said. His wife looked at him and told him, "That's wonderful, Myron! Sign me up for twice."
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I put tape on the mirrors in my house ~
so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
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A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?”
Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.”
And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.”
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve, and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, “Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.
And God said, “No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.”
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, “Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.”
And God said, “No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.”
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them.
And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or the other.
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Evolotion has a way to go

Ursa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ursarodinia@aol.com