Sunday, October 28, 2012

Paws & Claws ~ October 28, 2012 ~ Getting ready to go a'haunting (again)

"In answer to the question of why it happened,
I offer the modest proposal
that our Universe
is simply one of those things
which happen from time to time."
~ Edward P. Tryon
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2012 October
See Explanation. Clicking on the picture will download the highest resolution version available.
Mammatus Clouds Over Saskatchewan
Image Credit & Licence: Craig Lindsay, Wikipedia
Explanation: Normal cloud bottoms are flat. This is because moist warm air that rises and cools will condense into water droplets at a specific temperature, which usually corresponds to a very specific height. As water droplets grow, an opaque cloud forms. Under some conditions, however, cloud pockets can develop that contain large droplets of water or ice that fall into clear air as they evaporate. Such pockets may occur in turbulent air near a thunderstorm. Resulting mammatus clouds can appear especially dramatic if sunlit from the side. These mammatus clouds were photographed over Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada during the past summer.
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Astronomy Picture of the Day
2012 October 22
A Space Shuttle on the Streets of Los Angeles
Credit & Copyright: Bryan Chan, Los Angeles Times; Music: Keeper of the Wind (Eleni Hassabis, Firstcom)
Explanation: Was that the space shuttle that just went by? Garnering attention that could make even a movie star blush, thousands of people watched in awe as a quintessential icon of the space age was towed through the streets of Los Angeles. After landing at LAX airport late last month, the shuttle Endeavour was carefully loaded onto rolling trailers and maneuvered down roads and across bridges to the California Science Center, 20 kilometers away. To many, there was a majesty to the voyage that was beyond description, inspiring people to line the LA streets and wait at windows and balconies to witness and photograph this once-in-a-lifetime event. Narrowly avoiding some buildings and trees, the retired shuttle made it safely to its new home and will soon be ready for permanent display. Although the journey took place over three days, it has been shortened in the above artistic time-lapse video to about three minutes.
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Portland On The Web: New York Times, Portland Pulp, Yahoo & More

As you hit the streets for Halloween weekend, a popular costume choice may be 'The Hipster Bandit' who pulled off yet another robbery last week. If you're wondering why the 5' 7", spectacled, messenger bag-toting criminal hasn't been caught yet, it could be that he looks like literally every other guy in Portland.

Those still in need of a costume could opt for Obie, the obese dachsund, who found himself in the middle of a custody battle this week between his new owner and the dog rescue group that discovered him. Obie has no comment on the disagreement, but does enjoy slow walks on the Oregon Coast and jean vests.

And finally, Portland is a great place to retire, according to Yahoo as long as you don't mind hundreds of young whipper snappers descending on your lawn to slackline and play dodgeball.

Here is a round-up of the goings-on in Portland this week:
Yahoo: 10 best places to retire
Portland Pulp: Beloved/Fat Portland dachsund Obie focus of vicious custody battle
OregonLive: Census: Jump in young adults moving out of state
New York Times: A culture moves east in Portland Ore.
OregonLive: Police link 'hipster bandit' to second Northeast Portland bank robbery
Portland Architecture: Renovating Pittock Mansion
Lonely Planet: Best value destinations
OregonLive: On location with 'Grimm' filming the Halloween episode
Bureau of Planning & Sustainability: Halloween brings lots of ways to be resourceful
Red Tricycle: Our picks for best local neighborhoods for trick-or-treating
Portland Monthly: 20 spots that defined the year in food
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This wife has been married for seven years and has six kids and is tired of being pregnant. So, she goes to talk to her priest, the priest tells her to go and by a ten gallon bucket and stick her feet in it of a night, she thanks him and goes off to do as he says.

Well six months later the priest sees her and sure enough she is pregnant again. The priest asks her if she followed his instructions, she said yes but that she could not find a ten gallon bucket so she bought two five gallon buckets.
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Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
- Stephen Leacock
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On October 19th, an international group of researchers from all over Europe presented the results of a coöperative project they worked on for years. Funded by the European Union with a budget of 2,4 million euros, the group, called CONNECT, has developed a completely new map of the human brain. It is now possible for many professionals to look at brain tissue in a way that is more detailed than ever. It might well be that this project, therefore, lies at the basis of huge new developments in neuroscience and medicine in the upcoming decade.

More information: http://bit.ly/S1qKtC
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God is a comedian with an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire
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I have lots of hobbies which I pursue to the fullest.
I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches across the world. Maybe you've seen it.
I also collect rare photos. I have a very rare photo of Houdini locking his keys in his car. - Steven Wright
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During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."
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Lewis Carroll discerns a public danger in birthday toasts, from a letter to Gertrude Chataway, Oct. 13, 1875:
I am very much afraid, next time Sybil looks for you, she’ll find you sitting by the sad sea-wave, and crying ‘Boo! hoo! Here’s Mr. Dodgson has drunk my health, and I haven’t got any left!’ And how it will puzzle Dr. Maund, when he is sent for to see you! ‘My dear Madam, I’m very sorry to say your little girl has got no health at all! I never saw such a thing in my life!’ ‘Oh, I can easily explain it!’ your mother will say. ‘You see she would go and make friends with a strange gentleman, and yesterday he drank her health!’ ‘Well, Mrs. Chataway,’ he will say, ‘the only way to cure her is to wait till his next birthday, and then for her to drink his health.’
“And then we shall have changed healths. I wonder how you’ll like mine! Oh, Gertrude, I wish you wouldn’t talk such nonsense!”
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Before Salem, There Was the Not-So-Wicked Witch of the Hamptons
Why was Goody Garlick, accused of witchcraft in 1658, spared the fate that would befall the women of Massachusetts decades later
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Found a picture of your favorite girlfriend in a thong......

Thanks, Cindy
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Why Do We Blush?
AsapSCIENCE looks at the social and biological factors behind getting all red in the face. A behavior unique to humans, there seems to be something special about our tendency to dilate facial blood vessels when nervous or uncomfortable. There’s just some situations in about human social interactions where words fail us, and where pink cheeks succeed.
Of course, we’re the only species in the animal kingdom that, instead of running from predators, has to deal with dashing, well-dressed individuals throwing science our way while giving that certain “come-hither” look where only a blush will do. Unfortunately, I’m not talking about me … I’m talking about Neuroscientist Ryan Gosling:
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CHARLI Robot Gangnam Style
Ok, I know I said the biology Gangnam Style parody would be my last, but then I found this robot dancing to the song. I was all “there’s no way it can gallop” and then it kind of gallops.
We also have a robot on Mars, but I hear it doesn’t dance. (by RoMeLaVT)
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Molecules Gone Wild (Bio Style)
You might think you’re done with Gangnam Style parodies, but I’m gonna make you sit through one more. Because this one’s all about biology. This makes my inner nerd smile. Oh, who am I kidding … it’s an outer nerd!(via Cara Santa Maria)
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Curious bear
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The Earth Story
Teleporting Fish?

The mystery of how fish end up in volcanic lakes is puzzling, and there are several theories as to how. We'll try to explain some here.

1- Ice. It's possible that fish are frozen in ice, and when the ice thaws fish are washed down into the lake.

2- Rain Storms. It is known that some rain storms can cause mini-whirlwinds that lift frogs, fish and insects into the air and dump them far from their place of origin.

3-Birds. It's highly plausible that a fish struggling in the grip of a bird proves too slippery to be held onto, and is dropped into a volcano lake from up high. It is also possible that birds spread fish roe from one lake to another unintentionally.

4- It's possible that man has stocked volcanic lakes, and whilst this is likely in some cases, it doesn't explain the fossils of fish from millions of years ago found in ancient crater lakes before the time of man.

Whatever the reason it's still a mystery, and an interesting one. To read more head to the links below.
http://ilovebacteria.com/volcano.htm

http://lawr.ucdavis.edu/faculty/gpast/lakes.html
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The Renaissance mathematician Niccolò Tartaglia would use this bewildering riddle to assess neophytes in logic:
If half of 5 were 3, what would a third of 10 be?
What’s the answer?
The question asks us to discover whatever strange factor could cause 5/2 to give the result 3, and to apply the same factor to 10/3. So:
5/2 : 3 = 10/3 : x
Solving for x gives the result 4.
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Here’s a philosophical question. Some pinball machines reward high scores with free replays. And in states with anti-gambling statutes, some prosecutors crack down on this feature, saying that it constitutes gambling.
Is this a coherent argument? If pinball is legal, then can more pinball be illegal?
“The prosecutors … believe that ‘more of the same’ can be too much of a good thing, and rather than multiply legal acts, actually cross the line of legality,” writes Peter Suber in The Paradox of Self-Amendment.
“A quantitative change becomes at some point a qualitative change, just as lowering the temperature of water by degrees gives us nothing but cold water for a while, and then suddenly gives us ice.”
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In Wife's Mind

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Pickup Lines
Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?
Can I buy you a drink, or would you just prefer the five bucks?
I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.
Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?
You know what would look great on you? Me.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Ferrari.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.
If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous.
Can I even get a fake number?
You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did anyway!
Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind!
Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?
Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it's an emergency. My mom told me to call her the first time I fell in love.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
You better have a license, cos yo're driving me crazy!
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
You look a lot like my future wife.
Don't you know me from somewhere?
Can you please scratch my back? My arms are far too muscular for me to reach.
What pickup line actually works on you?
I'm not a doctor, but I'll take a look anyway.
You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

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feedback from phlax:
I had a ball with this one....
5 easy pieces
Poop Fiction
Black Snake Moaning
Shakalaka Boom Boom
The Curious case of Benjamins Bottom
Teeheehee. I'll be pondering this all day
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Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction.
"Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?"
"Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets."
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If we learn by our mistakes then I am getting a fantastic education.
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"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, then I'd feel guilty and go back." - Woody Allen
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A Star Wars flashmob.
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Funny One liners!
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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We have lots of laws, not all of them good. But whether they intend to or not, many laws have very beneficial side effects.

Random Facts:

Town laws in the U.S. Midwest in the 1880s were passed prohibiting the sale of ice cream sodas on Sunday. In Illinois, ingenious soda fountain owners got around the law by omitting the carbonated water and serving just the scoop of ice cream and the syrup. They called this a "Sunday Soda." Later the name was shortened to "sunday" and eventually just "sundae."

The Massachusetts Law School of 1647 required that towns with 50 or more families establish schools or pay a fine of 5 British pounds. Several schools were opened as a result of this law. Although the schools were not the first supported by the public, the law forcing their creation was an important milestone in public education.
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"The U.S. Postal Service is in bad shape. Because of the Internet people aren't sending mail much anymore. Maybe if they weren't so prudish about mailing bodily fluids and explosives they wouldn't be in the situation." -Jimmy Kimmel
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Because he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an ordinary man," he said walking up to her, "but in a little while, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars. I would like to have someone to share it with. Will you come home with me?"
The woman went home with Charles, and the next week she became his stepmother.
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The fluffy caterpillars of the family Megalopygidae


This particular caterpillar was found at Posada Amazonas lodge in Tambopata, Peru, and it is almost a fully grown caterpillar belonging to the family Megalopygidae, also collectively known as Flannel Moths. This family of moths is known for having hairy caterpillars, which look all fluffy, cute and cuddly (doesn't this pic look a bit like Donal
d Trump's wig? :-D).

And although it may look inviting to you, hidden beneath the soft hairs are poisonous spines. If they are handled the spines may break, releasing a chemical which causes excruciating pain, and will also pierce the skin. It can also cause an extreme allergic reaction resulting in rashes, blisters, inflammation, and breathing difficulty. So, if you're in Peru or anywhere in North America or the New World Tropics where these are usually found, and you come across these, do remember the hidden spines and don't pick it up!
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An Open Letter to Alcohol

Dear Alcohol,
First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect gift, post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone Calls:
While I agree with you that communication is important. I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night.

2. Eating:
Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with wine and topped off with a Kit Kat AFTER a few cheese curls and chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness:
Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer this issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore:
The hangovers have GOT to stop! This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order. But, the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out (face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn or wherever). The hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.

In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3 p.m. (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions. And hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your Biggest Fan
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"It is no secret that our economy is in the dumpster, because our economy knows the dumpster is where you can sometimes find old muffins." -Stephen Colbert
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"Because Mitt Romney is a Mormon he can actually have several vice presidents. Did you know that?" -Dave Letterman
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Touch me gently
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"Hot dog pizza raises two important questions. Who came up with this monstrosity? And how quickly can it be delivered to my house?" -Craig Ferguson
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First I had to work late. Then I discovered that I'd locked my keys in the car. But the last straw was learning that roadside service couldn't get a locksmith to me for at least two hours. Finally the guy showed, looking tired and annoyed.
As he struggled with my door, I joked, "Do those Slim Jim tools come in purse-size?"
"Yeah," he muttered. "They're called keys."
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Fellow employees at the international company where I work know I'm a notary public and have me certify personal documents.

One day, two Swedish men asked me to witness signatures on an automobile title. "I'm selling my car to this man," one of them explained. "We came here because we heard you were notorious."
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QUOTE: "Living in memories is an empty gesture."

HINT: (1931-1990), Indian mystic, guru, and spiritual teacher who garnered an international following.

ANSWER: Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
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RANDOM TIDBITS

Approximately one fifth of all the publications from Japan are comic books.

There are 31,557,600 seconds in a year. A leap year has 31,622,400 seconds.

The construction on the Parisian Notre Dame Cathedral began in 1015 A.D and took over 400 years to complete.

You can give change for a dollar in 293 different coin variations.

Cold weather makes fingernails grow faster.

Did you know the first bullet proof vest and windshield wiper blades were both invented by women?
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Back On My Feet

Dude 1: "The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."

Dude 2: "And did he?"

Dude 1: "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
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This two headed South African Tortoise was discovered by Noel Daniels of Wellington in 2003.
The condition is known as Polycephaly and occurs when monozygotic twins fail to separate completely.
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What the Cluck Happened?

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.

A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.

Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens.

"I think I know where I'm going wrong," he tells the dealer. "I think I'm planting them too deep."
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"My advice for people is to love the world they are in, in whatever way makes sense to them. It may be a devotional practice, it may be song or poetry, it may be by gardening, it may be as an activist, scientist, or community leader. The path to restoration extends from our heart to the heart of sentient beings, and that path will be different for every person." Paul Hawken, "The Movement With No Name"
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Q and A Quickies

Q: What game do cows play at parties?
A: Mooosical Chairs.

Q: What's a flea's favorite way to travel?
A: Itch-hiking.

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The Fibonacci sequence and the golden ratio.

The ratio of each successive pair of numbers in the series approximates phi (1.618. . .), as 5 divided by 3 is 1.666, and 8 divided by 5 is 1.60. The ratios of the successive numbers in the Fibonacci series quickly converge on Phi. After the 40th number in the series, the ratio is accurate to 15 decimal places.
As you can see, Phi is found throughout nature.
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QUOTE: "Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death."

HINT: (1882-1972), American politician from the state of South Carolina.

ANSWER: James F. Byrnes.
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RANDOM TIDBITS

The maximum speed limit you'll see on US highway signs depends on the state. In Iowa, New Mexico, and North and South Dakota, 75 mph is posted on some stretches of interstate highways. But in Hawaii, 60 mph is the maximum statewide, and in the District of Columbia, 55 mph is still the law.

The criteria vary from state to state, but as a rule, each area works closely with the Department of Natural Resources to review reported automobile/deer accidents. A "Deer Crossing" sign is generally erected whenever a deer has been hit within the previous 12 months.

Forty-nine states participate in the "Adopt a Highway" program. The lone holdout is Vermont, whose anti-billboard laws prohibit the necessary road adoption signage.

In 2004, the Federal Highway Administration approved the use of a new font, Clearview, on federal road signs after tests showed that drivers found Clearview easier to read than the current Highway Gothic font.

The large blue signs on freeways indicating that there's a Shell station or a McDonald's at the next exit are called "interstate logo boards." A business must meet strict criteria, such as restrooms, telephones, no cover charge, and so on, in order to get its name posted.

The Federal Highway Administration has adopted certain shapes for the various types of road signs in hopes that drivers will recognize them reflexively. A round sign indicates a railroad crossing; a pentagon stands for a school crossing; and diamond-shaped signs alert us to a particular potential hazard.
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A South African man armed with a nail cutter is trying to help stamp out rhino poaching by sending toenail clippings to the Chinese embassy in Pretoria... Mark Wilby said he wants to make the point that rhino horn, which sells for prices higher than gold as a traditional Chinese medicine, is made up of keratin - a protein which is a component in human nails and hair.
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Someone went and made a real-life heart of glass
Someone went and made a real-life heart of glass
http://io9.com/5953647/someone-went-and-made-a-real+life-heart-of-glassRead more, and check out many more pictures of structures created by FSG, over at Wired.
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Q and A Quickies

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.

Q: When does a ghost have breakfast?
A: In the moaning.

Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night?
A: Tweets.

Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath.
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Nothing to Wear
It's Halloween and this woman has nothing to wear. She puts a sheet over her and sticks horns on it and goes to work.
A co-worker asks her what she is dressed as.
She replies, "Bull Sheet".
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Calculations show that the celestial visitor could be dazzlingly bright in November 2013 and be easily visible in broad daylight as it rounds the Sun. Comet ISON is so named because it was first spotted on photos taken by Vitali Nevski and Artyom Novichonok from Russia using the International Scientific Optical Network telescope... That makes it a type of comet called a sungrazer, and there is a risk that the comet - essentially a giant ball of rock and ice, will break up when it makes that close approach.
But it could become brighter than the greatest comet of the last century, Comet Ikeya-Seki, which excited astronomers in 1965...
Comet ISON, which has the official label C/2012 S1, appears to be on a nearly parabolic orbit which leads scientists to believe that it is making its first trip through the Solar System. This means it may have been dislodged from a vast reservoir of icy debris surrounding the Sun far beyond the planets, called the Oort Cloud. It is a giant ball of rock and ice that is likely to be packed with volatiles including water ice that will erupt as brilliant jets of gas and dust when it is at its best.
The article at The Telegraph indicates that this comet should be "fifteen times brighter than the moon."
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There are many stop-motion video of pumpkins carving themselves, but this one has a twist. Five years after we first posted this video, it still makes me smile.
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The Highest Credit Score in the US
The highest possible credit score is 850. But apparently, no one ever gets that score. Tom Pavelka of Westlake, Ohio, recently was congratulated by a credit bureaus for having a credit score of 848, which "ranks higher than 100 percent of U.S. consumers." How did he do it?
He has a few simple rules:

1. Never charge something without having something to show for it.

2. Never spend money without knowing when you can repay it.

3. Pay your bills on time.

You might think you have to have no debt to have a really high credit score, but that's not true. Credit scores are formed in part based on your payment history. If you never have debt, you have no track record for repaying it.

In fact, the Pavelkas have a mortgage (with four years left,) an equity line that he usually uses to buy cars and then pays off, four credit cards with amounts due this month (they pay the bills in full each month) and a total of eight credit cards with available credit exceeding $120,000.
But here's what might be the biggest factor in building such a reputation for financial responsibility: the Pavelkas have no children. Link -via Consumerist
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b
It's always nice to catch a glimpse of VIPs doing things everyday normal people do. This image of Tsar Nicholas II playing airplane made me wonder whether the guy supporting him was really a "friend" or a subject forced to carry him -but the source gallery at Retronaut labels him as a fellow royal. Other celebrities in the list at Flavorwire include Albert Einstein, Joe Stalin, Richard Nixon, Franklin Roosevelt, and more. Link
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Sometimes you have an itch you just have to scratch. And that is not always a euphemism. Unfortunately for this man, the itch he had was on his testicles. It was unfortunate not just because it is never good to have itchy testicles, but because when you are in your car and trying to scratch them it looks a lot like you are masturbating.

That is what prompted a woman in the same parking lot with this man to call the police.

The woman told Port St. Lucie, Florida police she saw a man in his vehicle "making an up and down motion in the area of his crotch."

The woman didn't see his genitals but believed the man was masturbating.

Now here is where things get bizarre. When police spoke to the man, he explained that he got the urge to scratch his testicles because he has a rash there. When they were disinclined to believe him he pulled up his shorts and popped the boys out, showing the officers the, uhh, affected area.

Police determined the man, who has no criminal history, did not expose himself and found no proof that he was performing lewd acts in public.

Considering that it is almost never a good idea to show the police your genitals, that must have been one blistered bat-wing.
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World records set at Pakistan festival
LAHORE, Pakistan - Attendees at a Pakistani youth fair broke seven world records during the weekend. New global marks were set in most martial arts kicks in 3 minutes, plug wiring, fastest chess set up, cooking the most number of chapattis (bread), pulling a truck by a mustache and most football headers at the the Punjab Youth Festival in Lahore on Sunday, Geo News reported. On Saturday, attendees to the festival broke the record for most people singing a national anthem. Ahmad Amin Bodla broke the record for most kicks, while the record of chess setup was broken by Mehar Gul and Mohammad Mansha broke the chapatti making record. Noman Anjum set the world record in plug wiring and Mohammad Sadi set the world record of pulling a truck by a mustache. The record for football headers was set by Daniyal Gill and Qamar Zaman. A team from Guinness World Records was at the festival to verify the records.
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"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

"If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company." - George Washington
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40 Awesome Behind The Scenes Photos From Horror Movies
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/awesome-behind-scenes-photos-from-horror-movies
I don't even want to spoil the awesome images that you will see on this page. I will say this though - it may spoil some classic horror films for you so... BEWARE!!!
Steven Spielberg in the jaws of
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"Health experts have named Mississippi the fattest state in the Union. The state bird of Mississippi? The fried chicken." -Jay Leno
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"This week in New Zealand, a man who lost his wedding ring in the ocean found it in the water over a year later. The man says the most amazing thing about the story is that his wife fell for it." -Conan O'Brien
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"Philadelphia has a new plan to ticket pedestrians who text without looking up while they walk. As opposed to the previous punishment: lamp posts." -Jimmy Fallon
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A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.
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Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear. -- President Harry S. Truman.
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In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. --Eric Hoffer
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Fear is never an actuality; it is either before or after the active present. When there is fear in the active present, is it fear? It is there and there is no escape from it, no evasion possible. There, at that actual moment, there is total attention at the moment of danger, physical or psychological. When there is complete attention there is no fear. But the actual fact of inattention breeds fear; fear arises when there is an avoidance of the fact, a flight; then the very escape itself is fear.
--JIDDU KRISHNAMURTI, On Fear
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Error is better than apathy. Error can be corrected in time to change the outcome. Apathy is seldom corrected until it is too late.--G. Edward Griffin

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.--Helen Keller

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The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.~ Joseph Campbell
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Easily the best thing you'll hear all week: a beluga whale mimicking human speech
Holy warbling whales, this is GLORIOUS. For the first time ever, researchers have presented audio evidence of a cetacean (a beluga whale by the name of "NOC") spontaneously mimicking human speech.
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Star Wars made entirely out of scarecrows wins best Halloween lawn on this Earth
The genetics of stupidity are more interesting than those of intelligence, says David Dobbs.
Why do children hide by covering their eyes? The answer is really complicated, and very cool.
Alice Roberts’ Prehistoric Autopsy – a great documentary about prehistoric hominids.
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Did T.rex eat Triceratops by *pulling off its freakin’ head*?? Bonus: an illustrated step-by-step guide!
When you’re almost extinct, your bounty goes up
On oxytocin and The Walking Dead
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Really good take on the discovery of those feathered ostrich-dinosaurs

Rewrite the textbooks! Penis worm develops anus-first.
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Worth reading, for sure. But really the best bit about the article is the comments – in particular the first one (or it was). It’s about logic and is of this order:
1. 1 + 1 = 2
2. This is a mathematical truth universally acknowledged.
3. Since there is a universal component there must be a god.
4. Therefore morality comes from god.
Hilarious.
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In preparation for Eid al-Adha
Eid al-Adha also called Feast of the Sacrifice, is an important 3-day religious holiday celebrated by Muslims worldwide to honor the willingness of the prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) to sacrifice his young first-born son Ismail (Ishmael) a as an act of submission to God and his son's acceptance of the sacrifice, before God intervened to provide Abraham with a ram to sacrifice instead. The 3 days and 2 nights of Eid al-Adha are celebrated annually on the 10th, 11th and 12th day of Dhu al-Hijjah, the twelfth and last month of the lunar Islamic calendar. Eid begins today. -- Paula Nelson ( 32 photos total)
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Building a Huge Wooden Boat: DIY Project - [impressive]
Gullwing America: Porsche 904 Carrera REDONE - [wow car]
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Father Guido, "Life Is a Job!!!!"
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From cave paintings to the internet, or how art and cultural ideology shape one another.
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Why a husband and wife chose euthanasia

Excerpts from a poignant essay at the Washington Post:
I was living in comfortable retirement with my wife, Mathilde, when, at the age of 71, she received a diagnosis of Waldenstrom’s disease... Then, after seven years, the cancer suddenly turned aggressive and the treatment no longer worked...

But we live in the Netherlands, and here is where our story becomes a little different. When people become as ill as my wife, with no prospect of cure and only pain and exhaustion in the offing, it is quite legal to end one’s life by voluntary euthanasia... We made sure all the doctors who joined our village medical practice knew our wishes, and we always asked whether they would administer euthanasia. As an added precaution, Mathilde continued to carry a thick wad of forms and declarations in her handbag wherever she went, in case of an accident...

All the doctors agreed to our request. They were from a younger generation; it is older doctors, mainly, who are reluctant to administer euthanasia. A few refuse on grounds of principle, others because they just do not wish to become involved. But more than 80 percent of all Dutch family doctors, according to a recent large study, report that they have performed euthanasia at least once, and among the willing doctors the average rate is once every two or three years...

Euthanasia is by now widely accepted here. It is supported by the vast majority of the population, of the medical profession and of the political parties. The costs for it are borne by our compulsory health insurance, and suicide clauses voiding life insurance policies have been set aside. Still, it is an onerous task for the attending physician, and it also demands paperwork and careful planning. Demands for euthanasia are not made lightly and are more often denied than granted, largely because of insufficient forethought...

The law lists four major conditions for euthanasia. It must be administered by a doctor; the patient must earnestly desire it, a resolve taken after due deliberation, and freely; there must be no prospect of recovery and, in the words of the law, the patient must be suffering unbearably. The attending physician must confirm that these conditions are met and write a report to this effect...

To the nurse she said, “I am ready” and to me, “I am not afraid.” I sat on one side of the bed and took her hand, and the doctor, at the other side, gave her the first injection. She immediately fell asleep, snoring loudly. The doctor gave her a second injection, and the snoring stopped. She had died. It was all over in a couple of minutes...
If you wish to comment, please first view the blog post below this one...
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What is one of the biggest consumer fears about electric cars? It is that the battery won't take them very far. Most electric car batteries produced so far have a maximum range of about 100 to 150 miles. And while this is good enough for 90 percent of daily trips people make in their cars, consumers still expect the reliability of the 300 or so miles provided by most gasoline powered vehicles. That is what gave rise to hybrids. But what if an electric car battery had the range of 500 miles? Would it revolutionize the electric car industry?

IBM is planning an end to range anxiety with an EV power pack that runs on air and travels 500 miles on a single charge. "Lithium Air" batteries draw oxygen into a nano-structured carbon cathode, where it is stored and reacts with lithium ions and electrons to generate electricity.

When you plug the vehicle in, the unmolested oxygen is released back into the air as if it was breathing. The technology is significantly lighter than what is found inside a Chevy Volt and IBM has enlisted the help of chemical giants Asahi Kasei and Central Glass to turn it from successful experiment to fully-fledged product by 2030.
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Pumpkin Zombie by Villafane Studios
Last weekend at The New York Botanical Garden for their Haunted Pumpkin Garden event, master pumpkin, toy and sand sculptor Ray Villafane and his talented team from Villafane Studios brought their carving skills together to create an amazing Pumpkin Zombie scene out of three of the biggest pumpkins grown in the United States (one of which weighed in at 1,872 pounds). In the scene, the main Pumpkin Zombie (known as the Harvester) is shown pulling other pumpkin zombie minions out of the earth by their pumpkin vines. You can learn more and watch the process (captured in the videos below) as Villafane Studios talk and carve away at The New York Botanical Garden event. We have previously written about Ray Villafane and his amazing pumpkin creations.
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Office Thief Caught
bOffice employees at an animal shelter in Swinoujscie, Poland, were noticing small amounts of money and supplies missing over the past year. All staff members were under suspicion, but a hidden camera revealed the try culprit: a cat named Clement.
After 200 GBP had gone missing in a month, managers set up the secret camera and left banknotes on the desk to see who would be tempted

The film showed two-year-old Clement - one of the centre's rescue cats - sneaking into the office at midnight and making straight for the cash.

"When we watched the video we saw Clement jump up on the desk and pick up the money in her mouth," said Alina.
Following clues from the video, they looked under the sofa and found all the missing money. They suspect Clement left no clues behind because she always wears white gloves. Link -via Arbroath, where you can see a video report.
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Pumpkin Maestros is an interesting look at the jack-o-lantern art studio Maniac Pumpkin Carvers, and these guys really live up to their name!
Marc Evan and Chris Soria are highly skilled artisans who know how to skin a pumpkin right, so the light shines through where they want it to and the whole thing looks all pretty gruesome for Halloween.
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Walmart Theme song
IT WILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE
I suppose it was just a matter of time before this was all set to music.
Wal Mart has finally got a theme song, and it sure is a good one.
Normal nipples
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Man Sued Wife for Ugly Baby
I'm a firm believer that no babies are ugly, but a man named Jian Feng from China apparently believed that there are such a thing, and that his own baby is one.
Because his wife is beautiful and he considered himself to be hunky, Feng immediately thought that his wife cheated. But the truth was much, much darker:
As it turns out, his wife didn’t cheat, but did gloss over the fact that she had spent $100,000 on intense plastic surgery to severely change how she looked before she met him. It’s the kind of thing that can slip your mind on the first date. After his wife revealed this to him, Feng took the only right-minded course of action and divorced and sued her, claiming that she got him to marry her under false pretences. The false pretence presumably being that she was good looking.
Feng sued and, incredibly, he won $120,000 in judgment against his ugly-turned-beautiful ex-wife: Link- via MSN Now
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Cane Toads Can Survive on Nothing But Fresh Cow Poop
Cow manure? Why, to the cane toads of Australia, finding some is like a trip to McDonald's! Researchers have discovered that the toads follow herds of cattle across the desert and replentish themselves on nothing but what the cattle leave behind. Ben Scott-Virtue explained:
"They use those fresh cow patties a bit like McDonalds," he said.
"They sit up on top and they are rehydrating and then with all the dung beetles and all the other beetles coming in to roll that cow pattie back into the soil, the cane toad is just pecking them off."
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If they stayed this cute their whole lives, their prey wouldn't even bother running away.
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Inspired by the Fibonacci Series and the traditional Chinese medicine cabinet, Guangzhou, China-based design studio Utopia designed this gorgeous bamboo cabinet which proportion is based on the golden ratio. Phenomenal (or should we say phinomenal?)
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Pro Tip: Don't Rob Banks Where the Tellers Know You By Name
Especially if you're on a first-name basis with them:
During one robbery the teller actually recognized her, asking Heffernan, “Do you want to make a deposit Kerri?”
No, Kerri wanted to make a withdrawal. But before she could complete the transaction, police in Whitman, Massachusetts arrested her for this bank robbery and on suspicion of three others.
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Abuse me for I will not care.
Curse me when I stray from fair.
Brute force won't put me in my place.
Smooth and even wins the race.
Envy colors where I rest.
No sandy beaches for the best.
What am I?


ANSWER: Golf ball.
~~~
Good grip
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5. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
4. If you get tired you can wait 10 minutes to do it again.
3. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
2. If you don’t like what you get, you can go next door.
1. You can do the whole neighborhood.
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Meteor fragment hits pastor's home

NOVATO, Calif. - A 2-inch chunk of a meteor that exploded dramatically over California struck the roof of the home of a minister, his wife said. "It's wonderful. It's like the heavens coming down and history, and this thing probably came from an asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. I mean, how cool is that?" said Lisa Webber of the rock that bounced off the roof of her husband's study Thursday night and onto the lawn of their Novato, Calif., home. Peter Webber is pastor of Presbyterian Church of Novato, the San Francisco Chronicle said Monday. The object was confirmed as debris from the meteor that streaked over the Bay Area, offering viewers a spectacular light show, said Peter Jenniskens of the SETI Institute in Mountain View, Calif. "We can now hope to use our fireball trajectory to trace this type of meteorite back to its origins in the asteroid belt," he said.
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Motherfuckin name
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Baby Polar Bear Plays In The Snow For The First Time
Here are some of the pictures of 73-day-old Siku playing in the snow.Siku is seen at Skandinavisk Dyrepark in Djursland, Denmark. Dec., 2011
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Inflated with hot air, water, gas, or human breath, balloons are sold as playthings, used for memorials and celebrations. They are admired during hot air balloon festivals, and just recently, one made international news: A helium-filled balloon took former Austrian paratrooper Felix Baumgartner some 24 miles above the earth to set the new world record for the highest skydive. He plummeted 128,100 feet on Oct. 14 at a top speed of 833.9 miles per hour, landing in over nine minutes. -- Lloyd Young( 41 photos total)
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Aren't there already enough hazards on any given golf course without adding carnivorous predators to the mix?

It was just a normal afternoon on a golf course in San Juan Capistrano, California when club employees had to rescue golfers from a shark which had apparently dropped out of the sky and flopped around on the 12th tee.

San Juan Hills Golf Club operations director Melissa McCormack says a course marshal found the leopard shark and brought it to the clubhouse. It had puncture wounds where it appeared a bird had snagged it from the Pacific Ocean, about five miles away.

They stuck shark into fresh water before somebody remembered it came from the sea, so they got some sea salt from the kitchen and mixed it in (ideally with some hot oil, lemon and cilantro in a cast iron pan).

Another employee rushed the shark to the ocean where McCormack says it was very still for a few seconds before twisting around and speeding off.

Now maybe I am being too critical of this whole shark business. Golf is a rather boring game. What do you think would make golf more exciting than sharks on the course? Bears? Wolverines maybe?
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http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:M%C3%B6bius_strip.jpg
The properties of the simple Möbius strip are well understood: Take a strip of paper, give it a half-twist, and tape the ends together. Now an ant can traverse the full length of the loop, on both sides, and return to its starting point without ever crossing an edge.
But try doing the same thing with two strips of paper. Pair the strips, give them a half-twist, and connect the ends. Now it's possible to insert a toothpick between the bands and to draw the toothpick along the entire length of the loop, which seems to show that they're two distinct objects. But if you draw a line along either strip, starting anywhere, you'll find that you traverse both strips and return to your starting point.
"I have known people to ponder this for hours while listening to Pink Floyd without ever fully appreciating what they have beheld," writes Clifford Pickover in The Möbius Strip. Are you holding one object or two?
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QUOTE: "If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old."

HINT: (1853-1937), American novelist and newspaper and magazine editor in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

ANSWER: Edgar Watson Howe.
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My kind of hero

http://eideard.com/2012/10/25/my-kind-of-hero/
A bomb-sniffing army dog who died in Afghanistan on the day his handler was killed has been honored with Britain’s highest award for animal bravery.
Thanks Ed
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Think today's lesson would be..
take your teeth out before starting such activities

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RANDOM TIDBITS

The back of the New Hampshire state quarter depicts The Old Man of the Mountain, a natural rock formation that resembled the face of an elderly male and served as the state's emblem. We say "resembled" and "served" because, sadly, the formation collapsed off the side of Cannon Mountain on May 3, 2003.

The Prudential Insurance Company began using the slogan "We have the strength of Gibraltar" back in 1896 and has employed an image of the Rock of Gibraltar as its logo ever since.

The oldest rocks found on the earth's surface are located near the Great Slave Lake in the Northwestern Territories of Canada. Dating methods have estimated the age of some of the zircon crystals at between four and 4.4 billion years.

Like many legends of early America, Plymouth Rock is very likely just that - a legend. The first written record of the stone as the spot where passengers stepped off the Mayflower was published more than a century afterward.

Ireland's famous Blarney Stone, said to bring "eloquence" to anyone who kisses it, has attracted millions of visitors from around the world. Unconfirmed reports reveal that locals have long entered Blarney Castle after hours to "deface" the stone by urinating on it.

Revealing that Americans will buy nearly anything, for the 1975 holiday season, Gary Dahl packaged small, tumbled stones in boxes with an accompanying training manual and offered them as "pet rocks" for $3.95 each. By the time Christmas arrived, he had sold over one million of them.
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Life begins at erection
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Slap a pop culture inspired look on your face this Halloween by following along with one of these amazing makeup tutorials! You can be Pinhead from Hellraiser, or Sally from A Nightmare Before Christmas. There's a tutorial for a Roy Lichtenstein inspired look, Betty Boop, one of the Walking Dead and Scar from the Lion King, plus lots more jaw dropping looks from the world of pop culture.Now, go forth and paint your face!
--via Flavorwire
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Math, love, togetherness
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Man with the World’s Largest Biceps – Moustafa Ismail..
Can we say, real-life Popeye?
Moustafa Ismail, a man from Egypt is with the world’s largest biceps. The 24-year-old gas station attendant, "Big Mo" who has 79 cm (31 in) biceps confirmed that he will appear in the 2013, Guinness Book of Records. During the last ten years he has been practicing 6 hours a day in two separate training sessions, and his upper arms now have the same circumference as a grown man’s waist.
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The Hiawatha Trail opened up in 2001 as part of the Rails to Trails initiative, which seeks to restore life to decommissioned train tracks across the country. The Milwaukee Road Railway Company had constructed these tracks between 1906 and 1909, recruiting laborers from around the world to work on an unprecedented line through the rough and largely unexplored Bitterroot Mountains...

The conversion of the train tracks to a bike route was an inspired idea. The Hiawatha is gorgeous, soaring atop pristine forests of white and lodgepole pine trees, with never-ending views of the Bitterroots. The path took us through nine tunnels, including the 1.66-mile St. Paul Tunnel...
And here's the best part. The 15-mile trail can be ridden entirely downhill, with a shuttle bus returning you to your starting point. Sign me up.

More pix and details at Idaho for 91 Days, via Neatorama.
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Vi Hart is not only great at explaining mathematics and making it fun, she can also cook and poke fun at herself. In this video, she uses her previously-explained hexaflexagons to make a tasty tortilla treat! -via Viral Viral Videos
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Bank Robber Angrily Returns to Bank after Discovering That the Teller Tricked Him
After departing the bank, the robber realized that the teller had not actually given him $20,000 in cash. Not one to tolerate bad customer service, he returned, presumably to lodge a complaint:
As officers were responding, Bundrage discovered the teller had not given him the full $20,000. Officers found him standing at the front door attempting to get back in. He was taken into custody without incident, police said.
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That's no dessert!
Death Star confection by ZeeK Confeitaria: http://j.mp/TKlgDa
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This TEDEd talk by Tim Verstynen & Brad Voytek of the Zombie Research Society needed some animation because they get all scientific and stuff. Link -via Boing Boing
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Think Fast
The famed mask worn by Michael in the horror movie Halloween was originally a mask of who or what?
  1. A Hockey Mask
  2. The Scream
  3. The President
  4. Captain Kirk
(Think Fast Answer: Captain Kirk) The crew painted it white and made the eye holes wider.
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Magician Rich Ferguson "aka The Ice Breaker" is out on the streets of San Luis Obispo, CA for Halloween scaring people with a pretty impressive trick. I am not positive how he does it, I think something to do with stilts, but if I stumbled on this unexpectedly like these people do- I would be freaking out too.
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What's the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.
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Bryson Andres
Our performance was "EXPLOSIVE" — with Zlwin Chew at Resorts World Manila.
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Reese's Pieces
What if E.T. had been able to combine his two favorite Earth inventions--Reese's Pieces and alcoholic beverages? He'd probably enjoy Jasmin Fine's Reese's Pieces Shots. She suggests soaking Reese's Pieces in your favorite liquor for a few days. Then grind them in a food processor, add nonpareils to the edge of shot glasses and pour.
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The skeleton of an elderly man has been discovered laying in bed still wearing his pyjamas at least 15 years after he died.
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Horror Films You Didn’t Realize Were Based on True Stories
More horror films than you know were based on, or inspired by, real life events. Wes Craven himself told the story of what inspired Nightmare on Elm Street: a series of Southeast Asian men who died while having nightmares. One of them was a 21-year-old who refused to sleep.
Everybody in his family said almost exactly these lines: ‘You must sleep.’ He said, ‘No, you don’t understand; I’ve had nightmares before — this is different.’ He was given sleeping pills and told to take them and supposedly did, but he stayed up. I forget what the total days he stayed up was, but it was a phenomenal amount — something like six, seven days. Finally, he was watching television with the family, fell asleep on the couch, and everybody said, ‘Thank god.’ They literally carried him upstairs to bed; he was completely exhausted. Everybody went to bed, thinking it was all over. In the middle of the night, they heard screams and crashing. They ran into the room, and by the time they got to him he was dead. They had an autopsy performed, and there was no heart attack; he just had died for unexplained reasons.
But that's just one of ten horror stories behind the movies you'll find at Flavorwire. Link
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Spooky Skies
Just in time for Halloween, a collection of aviation mysteries.
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17 nude people
Body-painting artist Emma Hack piled 17 naked models up on the floor before arranging their arms, heads and legs into the shape of a small hatchback. She covered them in shades of blue, white, black and silver paint to highlight every detail, including the alloy wheels and number plate...and she even made it look like the car had been involved in a small shunt [?] by exposing the "engine" and leaving the front "bumper" hanging off.
One of the photos at The Week in Pictures at The Telegraph.
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Halloween in Charlotte, North Carolina
Although it is unclear whether Charlotte, North Carolina, is any more obsessed with Halloween than other cities, there are some interesting people there who take Halloween very seriously. Creative Loafing featured four of those people and the ways they celebrate the holiday. Drew Badger, pictured, is a haunted house consultant who also organizes the local Zombie Walk, among other ghoulish activities.
Drew Badger was only 10 when he inadvertently gave his first haunted house consultation, in 1977. His elementary school was holding its annual Halloween carnival, which included the "Tunnel of Terror." The "really lame attraction," Badger recalls, was comprised of taped-together refrigerator boxes and witches and ghosts made by first- and second-graders. So, Badger and his friend decided to fix it up.

"I cut a hole in one of the boxes, and my buddy got a bowl of ketchup," Badger says. "We smeared it on our arms and when the next group — a group of fifth-grade girls — got to the hole, we reached through and screamed and yelled. They screamed and yelled and got outta there. Within five minutes, we had a line out the door. Something must have clicked in me at that point."
Also meet a man who makes giant monster costumes, a guy who drives a spooky hearse for fun, and a woman who had a Halloween "shotgun" wedding. Link -via Fark
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Photographer Sakir Gökçebag doesn't use digital manipulation to get his fruits and vegetables to line up just so -they are cut and arranged like this! See what he does with watermelons, peaches, peppers, pomegranates, and beans, too. Link -via Laughing Squid
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AboveMauyak-and-calf-7
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“The Effect of Color” by PBS Arts: Off Book gives an in-depth look at color in our world and how it inspires us, provokes feelings and defines us in different time periods. To see a full list of the artists and photographers featured within this video, it is listed under the actual video on YouTube. We have previously written about PBS Arts: Off Books and their enlightening collection of educational videos.
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For Halloween, Nova Scotia-based Suzie Ridler of Suzie the Foodie created a Ghostbusters-inspired recipe for Ectoplasm Slimed Popcorn. It consists of “old school” popcorn topped with a green slime made of melted white chocolate, heavy cream and green food coloring paste.
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A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations.

The operation is performed, but a month later, she's still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious operation, but still not as complicated as the third alternative. But, there's still no result, and another month later she's back in the doctors office, and this time she gets the big one.

After having recovered in some weeks, the couple resumes normal marital activities, and this time they actually succeed in conceiving a baby.

Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the doctor for the regular examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this third operation actually all about? The first two weren't that bad, but this last one I think must have been quite a job, I was dizzy for weeks after."

"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard operations failed, we started suspecting your method rather than your ability, so I made a connection from your throat to your uterus."
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Weird Beauty
Weird Beauty is a series by Russian photographer Alexander Khokhlov, in collaboration with make-up artist Valeriya Kutsan, where the faces of female models are painted in unique and visually powerful black and white designs. For the project, Khokhlov says “…we decided to deny any color in our series except black and white to make more accent on forms and volume.” You can see the whole Weird Beauty series at Behance.
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A very very rich gentleman dies,leaving his fortune to his only living friends, a Doctor, a CEO, and a Lawyer. But being the eccentric he was, his will stipulated that each one must place their third of the money in his coffin before he is put in his final resting place. The funeral comes and goes.
Over a year later the three friends are talking over lunch and the topic of the old man and his strange ways comes into the conversation.
The Doctor finally says "I have to be honest, I didn't place ALL of the money into his coffin, I kept five million". Then the CEO states "Well, I have to admit that I too kept some of the cash. Ten million to be exact".
The Lawyer glares at the two and says "I am ASHAMED of you two, I wrote a check for the FULL amount!"
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Oct 27, 2012
Swirls along an Ice Highway

Thin sea ice swirled along the east coast of Greenland in October 2012, against a backdrop of overall thinning sea ice. Read more
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It was time for this UTAir Antonov An-24 in Bodaybo, Russia to takeoff. The runway is a pile of mud. The tail keeps sliding to the right. But the pilot doesn't care. Like General Winter, General Mud is his friend. So he's getting airborne, one way or another. At the link, you can watch a video of the takeoff shot from inside the plane.
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When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. To the the guy's amazement, when the Pope came, he went over to the bum, and whispered something in his ear.
Enraged, the guy went over to the bum and offered him $100 for the clothes off his back. Next day, he went back to the parade dressed like a bum.
Sure enough, when the Pope came, he stopped in front of this guy, and whispered in his ear, "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here!"
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Q: Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
A: Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
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The Science of Dogs
g
This comic is most likely based on personal experience with dogs, and we can all agree its conclusions are valid. And we love them anyway. Will at Doghouse Diaries says:
I have 4 doctorates in dogsareawesomeology. -Will
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Don't Throw Out those Pumpkin Seeds (And Other Tasty Treats)
Fall brings cooler days, colorful leaves, tasty pumpkins and winter squash. Families decorate pumpkins while enjoying pumpkin soups, stews and a variety of baked goods. And why not enjoy pumpkin? It’s high in fiber and a rich source of beta carotene, vitamin C, and potassium... read more
http://www.betterbudgeting.com/articles/holidays/pumpkinseeds.htm
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Dear Dr Phil,

I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off I turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded...watching me.

Is she a pervert?
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"Women who drink are less likely to be obese than women who do not drink. All this time, you've been on Jenny Craig while you should have been on Johnny Walker." -Jay Leno
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I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
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I don't do drugs anymore...I get the same effect just standing up fast.
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Pecker Openers
Pecker openers
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"The European Farmer's Union has announced that because of cold temperatures and drought, grapes aren't growing well and as a result this will be their worst wine harvest in 50 years. Experts are hoping it won't affect prices or threaten the supply of wine, and if it does they might have to start drilling for wine offshore." -Jimmy Kimmel
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"One in every seven people on the planet now owns a cell phone. You know what's even more amazing? That when I go to the theater, I never sit next to any of the other six people." -Jay Leno
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"French President Francois Hollande has promised to ban schools from assigning homework. Seriously? That's not a European president's platform - that was my 9th grade student council platform. 'I'm gonna do away with homework, and put RC Cola back in the vending machines!'" -Jimmy Fallon
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"One of the curious effects of a bad hangover is that you think you're wrong whether you are or not. Not wrong in particulars, but wrong in general, wrong about everything." - Jim Harrison
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A guy is screwing a great looking blonde.
The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?"
He replies, "No."
She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that!! I don't want to get that again...!"
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An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."
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Art From Arteries The unbelievable blown glass vasculature models of Farlow’s Scientific Glassblowing. Even better than these blood vessels printed from sugar and these cadaver-harvested epoxy ones. (via Wired)
Art From Arteries
The unbelievable blown glass vasculature models of Farlow’s Scientific Glassblowing. Even better than these blood vessels printed from sugar and these cadaver-harvested epoxy ones.
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Laws of Life:

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

* Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

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What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...
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Kyosho Space Ball – radio-controlled Death Star and air freshener
Almost a year ago, the Japanese Ministry of Defense made quite a splash when it revealed a spherical, remote-controlled aircraft that could zip around a room, roll along the ground, and even bounce off obstacles without losing control. But while it was mainly designed for search and rescue operations, many R/C enthusiasts took one look at that hovering orb and said, “I have got to get me one of those.” Luckily, toy company Kyosho must have been listening, since it recently released a similar flying machine of its own for consumers. Kyosho’s “Space Ball” can remain airborne while taking just as much punishment and even emits a fragrance to freshen up a room in the process.
It’s not nearly as state-of-the-art as the version from the JMD, but the Space Ball…can still zip around the room like a sentient dodge ball. The central tail rotor gives it a full 360 degrees of movement, while the 20 cm shock-absorbing frame lets it bounce off furniture and walls without spinning away wildly. Aside from protecting the rotors and electronics, the frame also helps the Space Ball right itself on the ground. Most of the aircraft’s weight is on the bottom, so the whole thing naturally rolls until it rests upright on the flat bottom
The most surprising feature of the Space Ball, however, is the optional absorbent sheets, which can be soaked in fragrant oils to spread an aroma around the room. Seems like a lot of trouble for an air freshener, but it could be fun to essentially crop dust your house.
Thanks Ed
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Feeling a little bit down? Go to EmergencyCompliment.com and get a compliment with the click of a button. Not satisfied? Click on 'I still feel crappy' and you get another one. Clicm on 'Thanks! I feel better' and you will be directed to another site where you can print a poster with desired compliment.
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Microsoft is now into it's 5th decade and there have been a lot of changes. From the humble beginnings of an operating system, Microsoft now finds itself spanning not just software, but also services and devices. Let's take a look at some statistics to better appreciate how big Microsoft is today
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This is actually pretty clever.
Life for halloween
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Flight Of The Baby Stingray

http://youtu.be/fqwT7XIot_E
Baby stingrays looking out of this world while dancing. This video was shot at the Hatfield Marine Science Center in Newport Oregon.
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There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been! --Percy Bysshe Shelley
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The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. --Confucius
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We may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings.
--Helen Keller
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Meet Beau, The Orphan Echidna Puggle

Echidna_puggle_2
A 30-day-old Short-Beaked Echidna (puggle) was brought to Taronga Zoo after it was found helpless on a hiking trail near Sydney, Australia. It's quite possible the tiny puggle fell out of its mother's pouch as typically, Echidna babies are left in cozy burrows at around 45 days of age. Echidna moms typically return to these dens once every few days to feed their young. At the moment, this tiny orphaned puggle is sucking milk from her human caretaker's hand. Female Echindas do not have teats, but rather feed their young from milk patches on their bodies. Echidnas are not weened until six or seven months of age, so this little one will be receiving lots of T.L.C. in the months to come.
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On Campus:
"In a rare lapse of generosity, the NCAA has decided college athletes can get jobs. This statement was sent via ship-to-shore cable from the NCAA yacht SS TV Revenue anchored off Monte Carlo."

"Athletes just can't make it anymore on what alumni give them," says Alan Ray.
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"In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president." - Jay Leno
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The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out ... and do it.
--SUSAN J. JEFFERS, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
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Boots and miniskirt
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A shot of a bird in flight has always been a challenge to photographers. Seeing a perfect print image only serves to make them eager to create the same result. Photographing a bird in flight presents one problem, but capturing that one special bird-in-flight shot that's in focus and has good composition plus good light can represent a whole set of problems. Everyone has his share of good flight shots where the bird may be just a tiny bit soft. Those are easy. But, how do you get a great flight shot?
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The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.~ Nelson Mandela
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While gold is currently around $1,700 an ounce, it reached an all-time high in 2011 of nearly $1,800 an ounce. Of course, gold has always been valuable not only as a material resource but also as a commodity.

Random Facts:

Gold is the sixteenth most rare of the chemical elements. Though it is one of the rarest metals, gold was the first to be discovered by man.

It took half a year for word to reach the Atlantic coast that gold has been discovered in California. The discovery was made in 1848, but John Augustus Sutter and James Marshall tried to keep it a secret. It wasn't until President Polk, in December 1848, announced the discovery that the gold rush of 1949 began.
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There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.
Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.
He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way, you get your dog back!"
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Some real headlines

"Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years"
"Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One"
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While"
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
"Deer Kill 17,000"
"Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"
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battologist
n. one who repeats the same words needlessly
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This self-describing (and otherwise pointless) sentence contains exactly 95 spaces, 66 apostrophes, 1 open parenthesis, 1 close parenthesis, 40 commas, 1 hyphen, 1 period, 4 '0's, 13 '1's, 9 '2's, 7 '3's, 8 '4's, 5 '5's, 4 '6's, 4 '7's, 4 '8's, 4 '9's, 2 'O's, 2 'T's, 12 'a's, 2 'b's, 10 'c's, 7 'd's, 21 'e's, 3 'f's, 4 'g's, 8 'h's, 13 'i's, 7 'l's, 5 'm's, 16 'n's, 12 'o's, 10 'p's, 8 'r's, 53 's's, 9 't's, 2 'u's, 2 'w's, 3 'x's, and 3 'y's, including a single Oxford comma.
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I love this one:
Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were out on the Berwickshire moors with a radar gun recently, happily engaged in apprehending speeding motorists, when their equipment suddenly locked-up completely with an unexpected reading of well over 300 mph.
The mystery was explained seconds later as a low flying Harrier hurtled over their heads.
The boys in blue, upset at the damage to their radar gun, put in a complaint to the RAF, but were somewhat
chastened when the RAF pointed out that the damage might well have been more severe. The Harrier's target-seeker had locked on to the 'enemy' radar and triggered an automatic retaliatory air-to-surface missile attack. Luckily(?) the Harrier was operating unarmed.
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Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator.
The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: " OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like semen."

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says "It smells like semen."

The blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, "It doesn't taste like anyone in this building . . ."
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All guys are the same
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