Monday, January 7, 2013

Paws & Claws ~ November 11, 2012 ~ Gobble Gobble try-outs & practice this week

We cannot change the cards we are dealt,
Just how we play the hand.
~ Randy Pausch
2012 NovemberSee Explanation.  Clicking on the picture will download  the highest resolution version available.
Moon Shadow Sequence
Image Credit & Copyright:
Ben Cooper (Launch Photography)
Explanation: On the morning of November 14, the Moon's umbral shadow tracked across northern Australia before heading into the southern Pacific. Captured from a hilltop some 30 miles west of the outback town of Mount Carbine, Queensland, a series of exposures follows the progress of the total solar eclipse in this dramatic composite image. The sequence begins near the horizon. The Moon steadily encroaches on the reddened face of the Sun, rising as the eclipse progresses. At the total phase, lasting about 2 minutes for that location, an otherwise faint solar corona shimmers around the eclipsed disk. Recorded during totality, the background exposure shows a still sunlit sky near the horizon, just beyond a sky darkened by the shadow of the Moon.
2012 NovemberSee Explanation.  Clicking on the picture will download  the highest resolution version available.
Meteor and Moonbow over Wallaman Falls
Image Credit & Copyright:
Thierry Legault
Explanation: Which feature takes your breath away first in this encompassing panorama of land and sky? The competition is strong with a waterfall, meteor, starfield, and even a moonbow all vying for attention. It is interesting to first note, though, what can't be seen -- a rising moon on the other side of the camera. The bright moon not only illuminated this beautiful landscape in Queensland, Australia last June, but also created the beautiful moonbow seen in front of Wallaman Falls. Just above the ridge in the above image is the horizontal streak of an airplane. Toward the top of the frame is the downward streak of a bright meteor, a small pebble from across our Solar System that lit up as it entered the Earth's atmosphere. Well behind the meteor are numerous bright stars and nebula seen toward the center of our Galaxy. Finally, far in the background, is the band of our Milky Way Galaxy, running diagonally from the lower left to the upper right in the image but also circling the entire sky.
2012 November

See Explanation.  Clicking on the picture will download  the highest resolution version available.
Baily's Beads near Solar Eclipse Totality
Image Credit & Copyright:
Leonid Durman
Explanation: Just before the Sun blacks out, something strange occurs. As the Moon moves to completely cover the Sun in a total solar eclipse -- like the one set to occur over parts of Australia on Tuesday -- beads of bright sunlight stream around the edge of the Moon. This effect, known as Baily's beads, is named after Francis Baily who called attention to the phenomenon in 1836. Although, the number and brightness of Baily's beads used to be unpredictable, today the Moon is so well mapped that general features regarding Baily's beads are expected. When a single bead dominates, it is called the diamond ring effect, and is typically seen just before totality. Pictured above, horizontally compressed, a series of images recorded Baily's beads at times surrounding the 2008 total solar eclipse visible from Novosibirsk, Russia. At the end of totality, as the Sun again emerges from behind the moon, Baily's beads may again be visible -- but now on the other side of the Moon.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it." - Joan Rivers

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago." - Will Rogers

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone." - Gladys Bronwyn Stern

The 13 Most Important Life Lessons Learned From Mr. Feeny On "Boy Meets World"
If you're going to learn lessons about life there is no greater man to learn from than Mr. George Feeny (William Daniels). Wise beyond his years. Plus, he was the voice of K.I.T.T on 'Knight Rider' for crying-out-loud! Why wouldn't you listen to him?
Thanksgiving is called Turkey Day by many and the turkey is clearly a part of our holiday culture.
Since their return from the brink of extinction in the 1930’s, Wild Turkeys are now flourishing across the US.
But how much do you know about this all-American bird? Ever see a turkey’s snood? Hear a turkey gobble?
At Thanksgiving, many of us are faced with choosing our favorite part of the traditional bird. Some of us prefer the legs and thighs for their dark meat, while others opt for the whiter breast meat.
We know which kind of meat we like best, but few of us know the reason for the difference.


The things you hate the most might just be the things that mean the most.


Set Theory

A puzzle by Polish mathematician Paul Vaderlind:
Andre Agassi and Boris Becker are playing tennis. Agassi wins the first set 6-3. If there were 5 service breaks in the set, did Becker serve the first game?
(Service changes with each new game in the 9-game set. A service break is a game won by the non-server.)

If there were 9 games in the set, then one player served 4 games and one served 5. Suppose Agassi served 4 games and Becker had k service breaks. That would mean that Agassi won 4-k of the games in which he served, and 5-k of the games in which Becker served (because there were 5 service breaks altogether). Then Agassi would have won a total of (4-k) + (5-k) = 9-2k games, an odd number. But we know that Agassi won 6 games, so this is a contradiction. Hence Agassi must really have served 5 rather than 4 games, and therefore he served the first game.
From The Inquisitive Problem Solver, 2002.

In a Word

n. an entity whose presence is unverifiable because it has no physical effects
A.J. Ayer coined this word spontaneously while describing his "principle of verification" during a 1949 broadcast:
Suppose I say, 'There's a drogulus over there' and you say ... 'What's a drogulus?' 'Well,' I say, 'I can't describe what a drogulus is, because it is not the sort of thing you can see or touch. It has no physical effects of any kind, but it's a disembodied being.' And you say, 'Well, how am I to tell if it's there or not?' and I say, 'There's no way of telling. Everything's just the same if it's there or it's not there. But the fact is it's there. There's a drogulus there standing just behind you.' Does that make sense?
"Talk about obscure words!" writes lexicographer Norman Schur. "Have we finally met the man who wasn't there?"
As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
-- Hughes Mearns
Curiously, Ayer himself seems to have confirmed at least one sighting. In 1959, Lionel Penrose wrote in New Biology, "I had difficulty in finding a suitable name for the activated complexes produced in [certain] experiments. On showing one of them to Professor A. J. Ayer, I inquired whether it perhaps might be a 'drogulus' ... He replied that it was undoubtedly a 'drogulus'."

Eff you see kay


F.W.H. Myers, whom spiritualism had converted to belief in a future life, questioned a woman who had lately lost her daughter as to what she supposed had become of her soul. The mother replied: 'Oh, well, I suppose she is enjoying eternal bliss, but I wish you wouldn't talk about such unpleasant subjects.'
-- Bertrand Russell, "An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish," 1943


Random fact of the day. Bananas aren't just radioactive; their radioactivity has spawned its own unit of measurement of radioactivity. The banana equivalent dose (abbreviated BED).


It all makes sense now: Gay marriage is legalized on the same day that marijuana is.

The Bible tells us:

Leviticus 20:13: "A man who lays with another man should be stoned."

Our interpretation has just been wrong for all these years.
Thanks, Mike

Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless.
"Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts.
"Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven."
Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen.
"Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"
What do you mean? says his mother.
Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both her balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling "God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!"
Lonesome One
I didn’t realize how lonely I was, until I decided my favorite sexual position was right-handed.
If You Want Something Done Right
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer... always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

"Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving when you find real bargains. It works on our innate desire to save money and to get away from your family after Thanksgiving." -Craig Ferguson

"A new report suggests that Christopher Columbus may have secretly been Jewish. What tipped historians off was Columbus' diary entry where he described his journey to America as 'a real schlep.'" -Conan O'Brien

"The U.S. Postal Service announced yesterday they are expecting this year's holiday season to be their busiest ever and also their slowest ever. That's probably the only business in America that complains about being busy." -Jimmy Kimmel

One snowy evening my brother, a regional police officer, stopped a car at a roadside check for drunk drivers. "Good evening, ma'am," he greeted the lady. "How are you this evening?"
"Fine, thank you," she replied.
My brother continued, "Anything to drink this evening?"
Surprised, the lady answered, ", thank you."

Some people bend over backward not to insult others. A while ago, I overheard my sister, a travel agent, confirm her client's flight this way: "Your confirmation code is F as in Foxtrot, R as in Romeo, and I as in, uuuh, Native American."

There is no point in doing more efficiently that which should not be done at all.--Peter Drucker

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable. --Seneca

Reverie is when ideas float in our mind without reflection or regard of the understanding.--John Locke

The sinews of war are infinite money.--Cicero

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.~ Helen Keller
Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom:
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats---
approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.

Tsung Tsung, 5-Year-Old Hong Kong Piano Prodigy, Is Incredible (VIDEO)
This week, a 5-year-old Internet sensation named Tsung Tsung shut down the conspiracy theorists of YouTube with a live performance of the fast-paced Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov composition, "Flight Of The Bumblebee" on Ellen.
The Ellen Show: Six-Year-Old Piano Prodigy Dazzles on @aol:
Phlax strikes again
Strutting Her Stuff
Much nicer than the twiggy types. Made me lapse into dirty thoughts.
Thanks for making my parts twitch.
Q and A Quickies

Q: When do astronauts eat?
A: At launch time!

Q: What kinds of tests do they give witches?
A: Hex-aminations!
To Serve and Protect.
We have all heard or read that phrase before. It is the unofficial motto of many police departments. But unfortunately there is an increasing frequent addendum to that phrase which goes, "...our own asses."
And apparently that modified motto now often involves a good tasing. Take the example of this Florida man.
When a fire broke out in Dan Jensen's neighbor's house, Dan called 911 and then ran outside to assess the situation. Seeing that the fire was creeping toward his own fence 10 feet away, he grabbed his garden hose and started spraying.
The police proved faster than the fire department, and when they showed up they ordered Jensen to get back. He complied. But as the minutes trickled by and the fire engine didn't show up, Jensen became frustrated and stepped forward to grab the garden hose once again.
That's when he heard the order. "Hit 'em! Take him down! Tase him!" In moments, Jensen was on the ground.
The 42-year-old commercial fisherman is still struggling to comprehend exactly how things deteriorated so quickly. He said he doesn't understand why police shot him with a Taser as he tried to save his own house from a fire.
Police said they can sympathize with the stress Jensen was under. But they said he put himself and officers in danger when he refused to back down.
Jensen's attorney said she believes authorities are trying to deflect attention from their actions that night. She called the Taser use "excessive force."
"They can't just Taser anyone," she said. "He's an unarmed person on his private property trying to fight a fire."
It could be worse, according to police. Pinellas Park Capt. Sanfield Forseth said authorities could have even charged Jensen with obstruction, but decided against it.
So he's got that going for him. Which is nice.

Man finds $20,000 in dumpster
MARLBORO, Mass. - A Massachusetts man said he discovered more than $20,000 in a dumpster while looking for magazines to turn into art projects. The Marlboro man, a Brazilian immigrant who asked for his name not to be printed, said he visits the Wellesley dump about twice a week to search for magazines to turn into art, and during a visit last month he found a book with $20,000 to $30,000 pressed between its pages, WHDH-TV, Boston, Mass., reported Tuesday. The man said he is trying to find the rightful owner of the cash and has pledged to search for six months before deciding whether to keep the money. "This book is a lot of history there," he said. "My point of view is, I want to see because if someone maybe who separated the money to buy a house, put a down payment for the house. What if that happened to me, if it was me? I'm going to go crazy, alright?"

QUOTE: "Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."

HINT: Irish playwright, novelist, poet, short story writer. He was one of the most successful playwrights of late Victorian London

ANSWER: Oscar Wilde



There are 119 grooves on the edge of a quarter.

There are about 3,000 hot dog vendors in metropolitan New York.

The loop on a belt that holds the loose end is called a "keeper."

The kings in a deck of cards each represent a great king from history. The king of spades is King David, the king of clubs is Alexander the Great, the king of hearts is Charlemagne, and the king of diamonds is Julius Caesar.

The LEGO company was founded by Ole Kirk Christiansen in Billund,Denmark, in 1916. Today it has over 9,000 employees worldwide. The Danish words Leg and Godt were put together to make "LEGO." Later, it was discovered that in Latin, the term "Lego" means "I put together" or "I assemble."

"The Star-Spangled Banner," written by Francis Scott Key, is ranked the most difficult national anthem on Earth to sing.
Q and A Quickies

Q: What mouse walks on two legs?
A: Mickey Mouse!

Q: What duck walks on two legs?
A: All ducks walk on two legs!
Skirt length sluttiness stockings
Trivia Tidbit:Q: When was the last time Republicans won White House without Nixon or a Bush on ticket? A: In 1928 when Herbert Hoover was elected.
Boy takes his parents’ savings, $4,000 – spends it on candy
A 9-year-old Ukrainian boy spent nearly $4,000 on candy in several days, the money coming from his parents’ savings hidden in a couch.
“The disappearance [of the money] was first spotted by his father. He opened the stash and saw it was empty,” said Tatyana Kushnerova of the Konotop, Ukraine police department.
After an argument, the son admitted taking the money during his autumn school holiday, $3,300 in U.S. cash and about 600 euros, converting it to Ukrainian hryvnas with the help of an adult acquaintance and spending it on candy, which he shared with friends…
Thnks Ed
3 Things Every Great Leader Gets Wrong
Think you're a great leader? Make sure you aren't guilty of one of these three reality-distorting traits.
1. The time needed to do things.
2. The relative importance of people and ideas.
3. What other people hear you say.
Thanks Dana
As Jane's tits brushed Robert's chest,
Her belly on his came to rest,
And she gave him a grin,
As his penis slipped in,
To begin what both loved doing best.

You suck blow me
Abbreviation for: you only live once
The dumbass's excuse for something stupid that they did
Also one of the most annoying abbreviations ever....
Miss Mildred West, whose duties on the Alton [Ill.] Evening Telegraph include the writing of obituaries, has been taking a week's vacation. And, for the first time in the memory of her fellow workers on the newspaper, a week has passed with no deaths being reported in this city of 32,000. Normally, ten occur every week.
-- New York Times, Sept. 1, 1946
I was on a Reno Air flight from San Jose to Las Vegas and the plane was taxiing to take off. The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "For those of you currently reading our in-flight magazine, please place it back in the seat pocket in front of you, as it is for IN-FLIGHT only."
When just about everyone had boarded the plane, the flight attendant made a brief announcement. She said,"to the gentleman in seat 18F don't worry about your bag, you will get it back just as soon as we are done going through it."
Later on, once we were airborne, he came back and said, "If you're sitting on the right side of the plane, look out the window and you will see big, white, fluffy clouds. If you're on the left side of the plane, you'll see ... big, white, fluffy clouds. Directly beneath you is...your luggage."

Once we landed, he told us to remain seated with our seatbelts fastened until we were fully stopped at the gate. Just as we were about to reach the gate, he said, "Don't even think about it!" He also said, "We have a man onboard who is celebrating his 100th birthday and this is his first flight! It is also probably his last flight." ('Boo's' from the passengers.)
"So please, when you walk by the cockpit , wish the pilot a happy birthday."
Bill was out golfing when He accidentally overturned his cart.
Hearing the crash, a woman who lived on the golf course came out of her house and yelled over to him.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"A few cuts and bruises," he said, "but nothing seems broken."
"Come up to the house and let's get some bandages," she said.
"No," he said. "My Girlfriend wouldn't like that."
"You're hurt!" she insisted. "Come in!"
She got some antiseptic and bandages and cleaned him up, but he was in obvious pain.
"Do you want a drink?" she asked.
"I'd love one," he said, "but my Girlfriend would be
very unhappy."
"Nonsense!" she said, pouring a drink. "You're in obvious pain, and you need something."
As she tended to him he became aroused and she noticed. She began taking off her clothes.
"Wait!" he said. "My Girlfriend will be furious!"
"Don't be silly," she said. "You've had a trauma and this will be better than anesthesia."
Afterwards, he began to dress quickly.
"Where are you running off to?" she asked.
"My Girlfriend is going to kill me!" he said.
"She'll never know anything happened," said the woman. "Where is she, anyway?"
"Under the golf cart," he said.
Thanks SSK
Healthy Living from Health.com$I$BFYNexB8vKl8CFNC1Ed8/top2

Holidays can be helladays. So check out these stress relief tactics (centuries-old in some cases) used by people in foreign locales. And not one involves lavender candles!$I$BFYNexB8vKl8CFNC1Ed8/top24

From bath salts to glitter mascara, these make great gifts$I$BFYNexB8vKl8CFNC1Ed8/top25

Sensitive tummy? Here's what to serve$I$BFYNexB8vKl8CFNC1Ed8/top26

How to look fabulous in your 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond$I$BFYNexB8vKl8CFNC1Ed8/top27
Book-Vending Machine Dispenses Suspense
The "Biblio-Mat" is about the size of a refrigerator and painted vintage pistachio green with chrome accents. On the front, in old-style lettering, it reads: "Every book a surprise. No two alike. Collect all 112 million titles."
Hand Shadow Puppets
Shadowgraphy <-- yup that's a word!
Interesting bit: Hand Shadows tickle your brain. Hand shadow puppets activate a region of the human brain called the Broca's area. This area is linked to language production.

Random Facts:

The rockets mentioned in "The Star Spangled Banner" were less effective than bombs. They had a shorter range and were so inaccurate that they had to be abandoned as weapons after the War of 1812. Not until World War II did rockets become important.

The Pentagon is the world's largest office building, a city in itself. With an area of 6,500,00 square feet the Pentagon has a Main Street lined with shops, restaurants and its own post office.
Letter to the New York Times, March 26, 1911:
Dear Mr. Editer
i Went down town with my daddy yesterday to see that terrible fire where all the littel girls jumped out of high windows My littel cousin Beatrice and i are sending you five dollars a piece from our savings bank to help them out of trubble please give it to the right one to use it for sombody whose littel girl jumped out of a window i wouldent like to jump out of a high window myself.
Yours Truly,
Morris Butler
Is this woman spinning clockwise or counterclockwise?
(Image: Wikimedia Commons)
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern furiously pounding shots of whiskey. His friend happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whiskey in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles and then slurs, "Not anymore!"
The phone rings, and the wife answers.
A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight ass with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes I do, he's watching TV - who shall I say is calling?"

"Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun." -Conan O'Brien

"I went out to vote. I was in line for four hours. And then it turned out later that it was a gas line." -Dave Letterman
"Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.." DS (and her dad)
"Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so."
Samuel Clemens - Notebook, 1898

"I'm not buying any Christmas gifts until December 22 because that Mayan thing says the world is ending on the 21st. If it happens, I don't want to have wasted money on gifts." -Craig Ferguson

In honor of Memorial Day, the teacher I worked with read the Constitution to her third-grade class. After reading "We the people," she paused to ask the children what they thought that meant.
One boy raised his hand and asked, "Is that like 'We da bomb?'"

QUOTE: "Happiness arises in a state of peace, not of tumult."

HINT: (1764-1823), English author, and a pioneer of the Gothic novel.
ANSWER: Ann Radcliffe.

Owl with Babies Cake
"Kids will get a hoot out of these sweet treats, made with cake mix, frosting and candy." Prep Time: 40 Minutes. Ready In: 3 hours 40 Minutes. Makes 30 servings. Printed from, Submitted by Safeway
2 boxes Betty Crocker® SuperMoist®
devil's food or yellow cake mix
Water, vegetable oil and eggs called for
on cake mix boxes
2 containers Betty Crocker® Rich &
Creamy chocolate frosting
1/4 cup Betty Crocker® Rich & Creamy
vanilla frosting
6 creme-filled chocolate sandwich
8 candy-coated peanut butter pieces (6
brown, 2 orange)
4 banana-shaped hard candies
2 banana stretchy and tangy taffy
candies (from 6-oz bag)
1.Heat oven to 325°F. Grease 1 1/2-quart ovenproof bowl (8 inches across top) and two 8-inch round cake pans with shortening; coat with flour (do not use cooking spray). Place paper baking cups in 2 regular-size muffin cups.
2.In large bowl, make batter for both cake mixes as directed on boxes. (Two boxes of cake batter can be made at one time; do not make more than 2 boxes, and do not increase beating time.) Pour 3 3/4 cups batter into 1 1/2-quart bowl. Pour 2 1/2 cups batter in each cake pan. Divide remaining cake batter between 2 muffin cups, filling two-thirds full.
3.Bake muffin pan 17 to 21 minutes, cake pans 23 to 30 minutes and bowl 47 to 53 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes. Remove cakes from pans and bowl; place rounded sides up on cooling racks. Cool completely, about 1 hour. Freeze cakes 45 minutes before cutting to reduce crumbs, if desired. If necessary, cut off rounded tops of cakes.
4.Place one 8-inch cake on serving plate; spread 1/3 cup chocolate frosting over top. Top with bowl cake layer, cut side down. Use photo as a guide to cut remaining 8-inch cake into owl's head and wings. Use 2 skewers inserted through cake layers at ears to keep head up. Press cut wing shapes against the body. Spread thin layer of chocolate frosting over sides and top of layered cake to seal in crumbs. Freeze cake 30 to 45 minutes to set frosting.
5.Spoon 1/4 cup vanilla frosting into small bowl. Stir in 2 tablespoons chocolate frosting to make light brown. Spread over belly area of owl cake with downward strokes to make ruffled look. Twist creme-filled chocolate cookies open, leaving creme on one side of each. Discard remaining sides. Press 2 cookies onto owl cake to make eyes. Press 1 brown peanut butter candy on each cookie to make pupil. Place banana-shaped hard candies on base of owl body to make feet. Flatten banana-shaped taffy candy; cut into 2 large triangles, and press onto owl's face to make beak.
6.To make baby owls, frost cupcakes with chocolate frosting, making slight peaks for horns. Press 2 chocolate cookies on each cupcake to make eyes. Press 1 brown peanut butter candy on each cookie to make pupil. Add 1 orange peanut butter candy to each to make nose. Remove toothpicks before serving. Store loosely covered.
Copyright © 2010 Inc. All rights reserved.
Married For 20 Years By Accident
Janeane Garefalo was recently surprised to learn she is married- for 20 years in fact. In the early 90's her and Rob Cohen, producer of The Big Bang Theory, were drunk together in Las Vegas. So inebriated were the two that they went through a drive-through chapel, pronounced man and wife, only to forget about for... well, 20 years.
It was only discovered when Cohen's lawyer was going through legal records preceding his second marriage. Wouldn't that be one interesting phone call? I wonder how the lawyer broke it to him.
"Well sir, unless you plan on converting to Mormonism... you are going to have to get a divorce before you can get married."
Update: Apparently they were listed on Wikipedia as married all this time. Both Garofalo and Cohen thought it was a practical joke on them and not in any way true.
-Via The Week
Fireball Whisky
A close approximation to Fireball can be made easily at home by adding cinnamon sticks, chilli peppers and sugar into a whisky bottle, and letting it sit for a week, and removing the spices afterwards.

The Stuff

Whiskey* -- your favorite brand
Red Hot Cinnamon Candy -- about 6-7 candies per ounce whiskey
Coffee Filter and Holder
3-4 large cinnamon sticks

*You can use Scotch, Irish Whiskey, Bourbon, Canadian Whiskey; blended or straight--It's entirely up to you. I used the cheapest bourbon I will drink straight-up but you can go wherever you'd like on the quality/price spectrum. Follow the rule of thumb with liqueurs and infusions: don't use it if you wouldn't drink it straight-up.

The Process

Find a clean glass container with a lid such as a bottle or mason jar. You can also use the bottle your spirits originally came in--you just have to take a few swigs to make room for the candy. Measure how much you are adding and be sure to leave at least 1/10th of the container empty.

For every ounce of whiskey, add 6-7 red hot candies to your container. I used a 750 ml (about 25oz when full) bottle of bourbon, poured out about 1/2 cup, and added 135 red hot candies. Shake your container occasionally. It only takes a few hours for the candy to dissolve.

The candies are coated with carnuba wax so, once the candy is dissolved, you'll want to filter it through a coffee filter to keep the whiskey smooth.

Bottle the filtered whiskey and drop the cinnamon sticks in the bottle. Leave them in there one week or more. You can also keep them in the bottle indefinitely.

Optional: Label your bottle. (I decided to label it "Ogden's Olde...", with an "e" in the "Olde" because it seemed more appropriate, though the name of it from Harry Potter fame does not include the "e.")
This a schnapps like cinnamon flavored whiskey available in Canada. its a favorite of many for shots or mixing in coffee. the original is relatively low alcohol content of 33% but I make mine a little stronger.
also the original is quite sweet so I prefer a little less sugar in mine.
the label on the bottle says its made with corn whiskey, so UJSSM white dog is what i start with usually at 65-70% abv

1 - liter of 40-45% white dog
2 - ounces of undiluted 65-70% white dog
1 - cinnamon stick
1 - 8.5 ml vial of cinnamon oil (available at many bulk foods or candy making shops)
1/2 cup sugar

start with your white dog and cinnamon stick. if you feel like taking the time, drop the cinnamon stick into the white dog and let it sit for a week. it's mostly the color you're after so when you're happy with the color pull it out. or else you can let the stick sit in the mixed spirit until the colors right.

take your 2 oz of undiluted white dog and mix the cinnamon oil into it. cinnamon oil will not dissolve well into diluted alcohol so if you skip this step it will taste the same but it will "louche".
add enough of this cinnamon alcohol to your 1 liter of spirit until you're happy with the level of cinnamon flavor and heat.

stir in the sugar and allow to dissolve - I only use 1/4 cup, but I don't like it as sweet, and even that's a little sweet for me.

my favorite way to drink this, in a double shot glass, 1 shot of fireball 1 shot of bourbon. it is very tasty going down, it barely registers as the the amount of alcohol you just consumed.

caution, cinnamon oil is very potent. don't get it on your fingers, if you do don't pick your nose or go to the bathroom for at least 2 days.
Portland On The Web: Huffington Post, Willamette Week, France-Amerique & More

Portland is well into fall, aka sunlamp season. But just because you're lonely, and its dark at 4:30 p.m., it doesn't mean you need to sit in your house watching a Game of Thrones marathon. A new business at Clackamas Town Center will lease you a four-legged friend for the long, rainy winter ahead.

And if pets aren't your thing, Rogue is releasing another Voodoo Donuts-themed beer. If its anything like its predecessor, the Maple Bacon Porter, the new Chocolate, Banana, Peanut Butter Ale will be a welcome, albeit unpalatable, distraction from the weather.

Here is a round-up of the goings-on in Portland this week:

Willamette Week: Rent A Pup

Phoenix New Times: Chocolate, Banana, Peanut Butter Beer...Rogue Ales and Voodoo Donuts at it again

Huffington Post: Oregon's Entrepreneur Environment Set to Explode

Neighborhood Notes: 15 Locally Owned Businesses Opened in October

France-Amerique: NBA: Onze Francais tres attendus
The music is cute, but it needs to be louder and made into a remix to go along with this adorable little one's voracious appetite.
Lego New York by artist JR Schmidt is exactly that: a model of New York City made of Lego bricks. Schmidt used satellite images, pixelated them to scale correctly for Lego bricks, and built the city. And a good piece of New Jersey as well! See images at Cargo Collective. Link -via The Daily What
Stop motion animation? Meh, that's a dime a dozen. So Greg Condon decided to do something a bit different: drop motion animation! Take a look: Hit play or go to Link
If you enjoyed trying the mental_floss quiz Who's on the Left? then you'll want to try out ten more famous pairs. You know the names, you know the faces, but are you sure you know which one is which? I didn't -I only got four correct! I still don't know who Ed and Larry are. No doubt, you will do better. Link
"Honey, do you think you can store the lawn mower in your folks garage?" My wife asked. "I don't think we're going to need it again this year."

I looked around our garage: 5 bikes (two of them hanging out of the way), the lawn mower and a rolling tool cabinet.

"You are becoming obsessive compulsive," I said. "Leave the garage alone. You don't need to clean it every week. It's clean and empty."

"I know, but..."

"No 'buts'. You're always tired--snoring on the sofa by 9. I want you to stop cleaning because I need you awake at least a couple nights a week. My balls are a permanent shade of blue."

"The kids track all the dirt from the garage into the house..."

"Listen carefully, Honey. If you need to clean something then clean something that needs cleaning. And right now the things that need cleaning the most are my pipes."

"Arizona has elected the first openly bisexual congresswoman. Apparently she did very well with swing voters." -Conan O'Brian


The tour bus traveling through northern Nevada passed briefly at the Mustang Ranch, near Sparks.

The guide noted: "We are now passing the largest house of prostitution in America."

A male passenger shouted "WHY?!?"
Analysis of the above picture can tell us a lot about how different people think.

- For young men, it's a picture of a lady with a nice derriere but only the most observant will notice that she is crossing a street.

- The really observant will notice that she is wearing a thong.

- For older men, she appears to be a respectable woman - with a big ass - on her way to work.

- Wiser men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer to take the shot in the face of such beauty and be grateful that they shared it.

- For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.

- The other half will think she is a slut but wonder where she bought that blouse

- Older women will imagine the misery that the woman's curves will cause by the time she reaches 50.

- But only children, the extremely intelligent, and the celibate will notice that the taxi is being driven by a dog
"One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.' But when you're in the woods you're like, 'Is there an asshole out here?' They look like trees." -Demetri Martin
Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up'?"
Images from an Australian rainforest
Excellent skills (once you get beyond that mask he wears as a hat).
What's unusual about this 1649 engraving by Claude Mellan, Sudarium of Saint Veronica?
The image is produced by one continuous spiraling line starting at the tip of Jesus' nose.
"Today was the release of 'Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.' I saw people camped out last night waiting for it. I thought it was some kind of Occupy Toys "R" Us." -Craig Ferguson

"The Oxford English Dictionary revealed that its word of the year is GIF: the format for animated files. People who use dictionaries were like, 'What's a GIF?' And then people who use GIFs were like, 'What's a dictionary?'" -Jimmy Fallon

"At a gas station in Texas, a woman purchased what she thought was a $200 iPad that turned out to be just a mirror. Let that be a lesson. Make sure you buy your iPad from a REPUTABLE gas station." -Conan O'Brian

I didn't create this meme but they ARE my words and it IS my image and I DO agree with the sentiment. So I'm posting it. This passage was taken from my book:
TOUGH SHIT: Life Advice from a Fat Lazy Slob Who Did Good
English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:

"He swept the rug under the carpet."
"She's burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire."
"It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard."
"She's robbing Peter to pay the piper."
"He's up a tree without a paddle."
"Beware my are skating on hot water."
"Keep your ear to the grindstone."
"Sometimes you've gotta stick your neck out on a limb."
"Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter."

There are massive efforts on the part of the internet's corporate owners to try to direct it to become a technique of marginalization and control.--Noam Chomsky

What troubles me is the Internet and the electronic technology revolution. Shyness is fueled in part by so many people spending huge amounts of time alone, isolated on e-mail, in chat rooms, which reduces their face-to-face contact with other people.--Phillip Zimbardo

Not since the steam engine has any invention disrupted business models like the Internet. Whole industries including music distribution, yellow-pages directories, landline telephones, and fax machines have been radically reordered by the digital revolution.--John Sununu

The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow. - Bill Gates

It's hard to tell with these Internet startups if they're really interested in building companies or if they're just interested in the money. I can tell you, though: If they don't really want to build a company, they won't luck into it. That's because it's so hard that if you don't have a passion, you'll give up.--Steve Jobs

There are no great men, only great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to meet.--Admiral William F. Halsey

Two Little Pigs Born at Belfast Zoo Help Preserve Their Species

3 pigs.jpg
On Saturday, October 13, Belfast Zoological Gardens celebrated the arrival of twin Visayan Warty Piglets. Parents Malcolm and Mabel arrived in Belfast in 2010 as part of a European breeding program; Belfast Zoo is one of only four zoos in the UK to look after this species.
I posed this question to a Japanese Physician.....

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: What does cow eat? Hay & Corn (Vegetables) Steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine or they take the water out and you get more goodness. Beer is made of grain so bottoms up! Love this Doctor!
Does this puggle look familiar? Many ZooBorns readers first learned about puggles after being introduced to this little girl on October 23. We're happy to report that Beau, Taronga Zoo's Short-beaked Echidna baby, also known as a puggle, is doing very well under the watchful eyes of the nurses in their wildlife hospital.
In the wild, female Echidnas return to their burrow every few days to feed their offspring, so Beau gets fed milk every three days, which has helped her triple in size. Her caregivers have begun exposing the youngster to dirt, so that Beau can learn to dig and burrow! She is developing a prickly coating of spikes, which rise a few millimetres above her skin, as pictured in its most recent image below.
Puggle update
In case you ddin't see it, here's the video of Beau nursing and getting cleaned up.
You never know what kind of gems will turn up just by reading the police blotter. Take this little drama which unfolded in Michigan.

A man in Saginaw says he spent nearly 4 hours at a gas station after getting one of his fingers trapped in his sport utility vehicle's gas tank.

Victor Harris said he was attempting to remove a piece of paper from his Lincoln Navigator's gas tank Friday, when he found he was unable to extract his finger from his vehicle.

"A piece of paper was around the little hole, so I just tried to put my little finger in there, rub it off," Harris said. "My finger just slipped in there. It was like, 'Dang, it won't come out!'"

Dang, indeed.

He tried unsuccessfully for nearly 2 hours to remove his finger, before fire crews and emergency personnel were called to the scene. The emergency workers ultimately cut the vehicle's gas tank out to allow Harris to be taken to a nearby hospital with his finger still trapped.

Finally, after 4 1/2 hours, Harris' finger was freed and the Saginaw resident had a lesson to share.

"Don't stick my finger back in the gas tank."

Woman, 105, invited to preschool

TIERP, Sweden - A Swedish preschool said a 105-year-old woman received an acceptance letter to its class because she was born in '07 -- but it turned out to be the wrong '07. The Central School in Tierp said Anna Eriksson, 105, received one of the letters that were sent to more than 60 local children who were born in 2007, The reported Thursday. Marinna Eriksson, principal of the school, said the population registry provided the school with the names and addresses of the children, and no one noticed one of the letters was being sent to Anna Eriksson, who was born in 1907. "Her daughter got in touch and she and I both thought it was pretty funny. The two of them and I could see the humor in what happened," the principal said. The principal said the senior citizen is still welcome to attend a school open house for prospective students. "It would be fun if Anna Eriksson wanted to come here to meet the school's leadership and have coffee," she said.
Oxford American Dictionaries has selected its annual "Word of the Year," and that word is GIF. You are already familiar with GIF as in Graphics Interchange Format, or this images that change and move. the Word of the Year is for GIF as a verb!
“The GIF, a compressed file format for images that can be used to create simple, looping animations, turned 25 this year, but like so many other relics of the 80s, it has never been trendier,” notes Katherine Martin, Head of the US Dictionaries Program at Oxford University Press USA. “GIF celebrated a lexical milestone in 2012, gaining traction as a verb, not just a noun. The GIF has evolved from a medium for pop-cultural memes into a tool with serious applications including research and journalism, and its lexical identity is transforming to keep pace.”
Indeed, GIFING has had an amazing year in 2012. In January the New York Public Library launched stereogranimator allowing visitors to create GIFs of 40,000+ digitized stereographs from its collection and share them. Then in March Tumblr hit 20 billion blog posts. July saw the 20th anniversary of the first GIF posted on the World Wide Web, a photograph of the band “Les Horribles Cernettes”. In August GIFing was perfect medium for sharing scenes from the Summer Olympics in London, especially this coverage of the vault from The Atlantic. Most recently many media outlets were live-GIFing the 2012 presidential debates.
And how is it pronounced? The computer programmers who created the format used a soft g like the peanut butter brand Jif, but a hard g is considered correct as well because so many people say it that way. Find out more about the usage of GIF and see the other words that were considered for Word of the Year at the Oford Dictionaries blog. Link
P.S. The Oxford Dictionaries UK Word of the Year is ‘omnishambles.’ Link
A clever Australian public service announcement re train safety. The individual segments are available as gifs.
Red Bull has produced another human-powered Rube Goldberg contraption (see the first one here), this time using professional athletes of all kinds. Find out all about them, and about the project, at the project site. Link -via Laughing Squid
The higher the objective, the higher the cat jumps. That's what they do. How high can he go? -via Blame It On The Voices
Now that "Skyfall" has the highest box opening of all BOND-dum EVER, I thought it was a perfect time to celebrate 007 with a 50th Anniversary Tribute to James Bond.

Enjoy 50 years of action, gadgets, Bond Girls, bad puns, and one of the best themes in motion picture history.

50th Anniversary Tribute to James Bond

Enjoy this tribute to Bond... James Bond. We Have All The Time In The World - 50th Anniversary Tribute to 007.

Do you recycle? Do you conserve water? Have you reduced your consumption of meat? Have you written your congressperson demanding energy alternatives? It may sound cruel, but if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem.

And what is the problem?

According to the new, 2012 Living Planet Report, produced by the World Wildlife Fund, humanity is outstripping the Earth's resources by 50 percent essentially using the resources of one and a half Earths every year.

The world's biodiversity is down 30 percent since the 1970s, according to a new report, with tropical species taking the biggest hit. And if humanity continues as it has been, the picture could get bleaker.

Colby Loucks, the director of conservation sciences at WWF, compared humanity to bad houseguests.

"We're emptying the fridge, we're not really taking care of the lawn, we're not weeding the flower beds and we're certainly not taking out the garbage," Loucks said.

But humanity is essentially in debt to Mother Earth, conservationists find. As of 2008, the most recent year for which data is available, humans were outstripping Earth's biocapacity by 50 percent.

Biocapacity is the amount of renewable resources, land, and waste absorption (such as sinks for carbon dioxide) the Earth can provide. In other words, it takes the planet 1.5 years to restore what humanity burns through in a year.

If life gets tough what do you have that you can always count on?

ANSWER: Your fingers.

QUOTE: "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."

HINT: (1803-1882), American essayist, lecturer, and poet, who led the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century.

ANSWER: Ralph Waldo Emerson.


There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every 8 inhabitants.

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off

Tipping at a restaurant in Iceland in considered an insult.

Undertakers report that human bodies to not deteriorate as fast as they used to. The reason, they believe, is that the modern diet contains so many preservatives, that these chemicals tend to prevent the body from decomposition to rapidly after death.

The Nike "swoosh" logo was designed by University of Oregon student Carolyn Davidson in 1964 - four years after business undergrad Phil Knight and track coach Bill Bowerman founded the company they originally called Blue Ribbon Sports. Ms. Davidson was paid $35 dollars for her design.

The penny and the Sacajawea dollar are the only coins currently minted in the United States with profiles that face to the right. All other U.S. coins - the half dollar, quarter, dime, and nickel - feature profiles that face to the left.
Adjustable Birthing Chair, c. 1750-1850
This chair, made of wood, leather and iron, offered optimal birthing comfort two centuries ago:
The seat shape allows a clear route for the emerging baby and access for those assisting the birth. The chair is also known as a parturition chair. They were used from ancient times until the 1800s. The grooved parts on the bottom of the frame were used for leg rests, which the mother would use for support and to press against.
Link -via Curious History | Photos: The Science Museum
Check out this great list of 20 Creative Hand-Crafted Beer Cans & Label Designs, this is about the coolest list of hand-crafted beer labels I have ever seen.
Make sure you check out the whole list here.
If only more people had picked up Fifty Shades of Chicken instead of Fifty Shades of Grey, it would have saved a few marriages. Well, at least one to be sure.
The wife's solicitor, Amanda McAlister, one of Britain's leading matrimonial lawyers, says she believes it's the first time the book has triggered a divorce. Ms McAlister said: "The woman had been reading the book and wanted to spice up her love life. She thought their sex life had hit a rut - he never remembered Valentine's Day and he never complimented her on her appearance. So she bought sexy underwear in an attempt to get her husband more involved. She said, "Let's make things more interesting".
The problem is that the book includes sexual bondage and S&M - something the husband was not at all down for. He refused her advances so she filed for divorce, citing "his lack of adventure is evidence of unreasonable behavior - one of five grounds for divorce under family law." He isn't contesting the filing. Via Orange
Sometimes, it feels like LA traffic has me going nowhere for hours. Watch this car go nowhere for seven whole minutes. Well not nowhere, it is doing donuts - just in the same spot. Did I mention there is no driver in the car? I should probably mention there is no driver in the car. And it is doing donuts in reverse. Let me start over - watch this car do donuts for seven minutes with no driver in the car, in reverse. There.
-Via Videogum

tank instruction manual
I haven't read many tank manuals, but I'm willing to bet that most do not include a nude scene. This page, however, comes from one that did. Germany's Tiger tanks were among the finest of World War II. Germany wanted its operators to be well-prepared and so produced a manual with cartoons and odd analogies. You can view several pages from it at the link--including the nude scene Link -via VA Viper
If you want to really understand how something is made, it is often a good idea to take it apart, piece by piece. With some things, like watches and cars, it helps if you also know how to put them back together again. If what you want to understand is a human or an animal body, it has to be dead before you start, but the goal is the same.
How Old is Old? When You Stop Shopping
How old is old? According to a study by Michelle Barnhart of Oregon State University, whether someone is "old" depends not on age, but on ability to do things, like shopping, for example:
New research finds that for most Americans, old age is not heralded in by a particular birthday, but rather by how a person acts.
In particular, people who still shop for themselves or take care of their own household chores are less likely to be perceived as old, new research shows. [...]
"When people in their 80s or 90s exhibited characteristics that society tends to associate with people who are not old, such as being aware, active, safe or independent, they were viewed and treated as not old," Barnhart said. "In this way, they were able to age without getting old."
LiveScience has the article: Link
Celebrate Health from

It's hard to create a delicious meal that makes everyone happy. We can help!
Here are tasty Thanksgiving appetizers, sides, and desserts to suit the diet
constraints of every guest on your list

Choose wisely and avoid acid reflux on turkey day

Bobbi Brown's secret cures for dry winter skin
How to Make Your Own R2Disco
Not only would this thing look great for a party, but she even has a smoke machine inside that would make any party atmosphere even more amazing Link
Scientists have a sense of humor like everyone else -and sometimes they use it to for names that will used for ever. However, there are cases where there's a perfectly logical explanation for a name, but the result is still a junior high school joke. Take SEX, for example.
For the record, SEX is a compound used primarily in ore mining; because it is attracted to metal of various types (copper, nickel, lead, gold, etc), SEX is added to slurries to extract bits of ore from water. Technically speaking, one could say that SEX is a tool used by gold diggers.
Oh yeah, it stands for sodium ethyl xanthate. That's just one of ten minerals with funny names, explained at Geeks Are Sexy. Link
June O'Brien had a toaster possessed by a demon. This video is of an appearance O'Brien made on The Today Show in May 1984. There's really nothing else I can add to this except you have to watch the whole thing. -via Arbroath
Tim Jahnigen was impressed by a documentary about children in Darfur who played soccer with pieces of trash because the soccer balls that were donated lasted only about 24 hours on the harsh terrain. He was inspired to come up with a ball that would never go flat, specifically designed for Third World children. He found a material called PopFoam that fills the bill.
Figuring out how to shape PopFoam into a sphere, though, might cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and Mr. Jahnigen’s money was tied up in his other business.
Then he happened to be having breakfast with Sting, a friend from his days in the music business. Mr. Jahnigen told him how soccer helped the children in Darfur cope with their troubles and his efforts to find an indestructible ball. Sting urged Mr. Jahnigen to drop everything and make the ball. Mr. Jahnigen said that developing the ball might cost as much as $300,000. Sting said he would pay for it.
“Even on the harshest of terrain and in the worst of conditions, the ball could survive and the kids could still play,” Sting said in a public service announcement he made with Mr. Jahnigen. “I said, wow, yeah, let’s make it.”
Creating a prototype, it turned out, cost about one-tenth as much as expected and took about a year. Sting called it the One World Futbol, a homage to a song he sang with the Police, “One World (Not Three).”
The balls are expected to last for about 30 years, and for each ball sold at about $40, another is given away to children who cannot afford them. Link to story. Link to website. -via reddit
While waiting for the bus in London, YouTube user FakieLeatherman came upon a tuba player being asked (harrassed?) to "just blow the bastard" by a passer-by. So, the busker complied ... in style!
It's been almost two years since we told you about the Law & Order Database that Overthinking It was working on. But now they have finally finished up all the data from all 20 seasons of the show! The database results can be downloaded if you want to study them. Meanwhile, Overthinking It has some interesting graphs dealing with the disposition of cases on the various seasons, compared with real-life crime and with Neilsen ratings.
Over the entire run of the show, more than a third of all the episodes ended in Guilty verdicts, while another third ended in plea bargains. 80% of episodes ended in solid wins: either Guilty verdicts, plea bargains, or implied victories. That’s not too shabby, considering that the actual NYPD has a homicide clearance rate of about 50%. (Although you have to figure Law & Order isn’t meant to represent every case these detectives investigated; in 20 seasons, I don’t think there was a single murder that didn’t result in an arrest.)
Now are they going to start on SVU and Criminal Intent? Link

Also: Slate has graphs generated from the database information about which of your favorite characters were most successful in case disposition. Link
The Good Giraffe
After seeing a man suited up as a gorilla and playing the drums, Armstrong Baillie also decided to dress up. He chose giraffe and performed random acts of kindness across Scotland:
During the past six months Armstrong has handed out free bananas and water to runners at the Edinburgh Half Marathon, cleaned up litter on Portobello Beach and given away £10 vouchers to mothers in hospitals.
He has also been seen handing out free coffee to cold passers-by and cleaning cages at cat and dog homes.
Unemployed, Mr Baillie, said he busks using his kazoo and djembe drum then uses the donations to pay for the kind deeds. He hitch-hikes to reach his destinations - but is only being able to be picked up by convertibles due to his long-necked suit. Angie Brown of BBC Scotland has more: Link
The Oldest Living Tree Tells All
Neatorama readers know that the bristlecone pine tree is the oldest non-clonal living species (clonal tree species reproduce by spreading and splitting, sort of like bacteria, but older parts eventually die off). How did we first find this out? In 1964, Donald Rusk Currey, a graduate student of geology, discovered the tremendous age of a Great Basin bristlecone pine, after he had it cut down.
By the time of Currey’s survey, trees were typically dated using core samples taken with a hollow threaded bore screwed into a tree’s trunk. No larger than a soda straw, these cores then received surface preparations in a lab to make them easier to read under a microscope. While taking core samples from the Prometheus tree, which Currey labeled WPN-114, his boring bit snapped in the bristlecone’s dense wood. After requesting assistance from the Forest Service, a team was sent to fell the tree using chainsaws. Only days later, when Currey individually counted each of the tree’s rings, did he realize the gravity of his act.

Currey downplayed the discovery in a dry essay for Ecology magazine in 1965, in which he stated, “Allowing for the likelihood of missing rings and for the 100-inch height of the innermost counted ring, it may be tentatively concluded that WPN-114 began growing about 4,900 years ago.” Though its exact age is still debated, the Prometheus tree was certainly the oldest single tree scientists had ever encountered.

The Prometheus tree’s felling made it doubly symbolic, as the myth of its namesake captures both the human hunger for knowledge and the unintended negative consequences that often result from this desire. Though members of the scientific community and press were outraged that the tree was killed, Currey’s mistake ultimately provided the impetus to establish Great Basin National Park to protect the bristlecones. The death of the Prometheus tree also helped to change our larger perception of trees as an infinitely replenishing resource. “It’s not going to happen again,” says Shoettle. “But it wasn’t something that I think they struggled with at the time, because it was just a tree, and the mindset was that trees were a renewable resource and they would grow back. And it didn’t seem like it was any particularly special tree.”
Collector's Weekly tells the whole story of Prometheus, plus the science of tree dating, and theories on why the bristlecone lives so long. Link (Image credit: Nick Turland)

A Swedish TV ad for who-knows-what features skydiving cats in formation, with the best soundtrack possible. Let us hope they all landed on their feet just as they should. -via Warming Glow
In an article last week, we read about how Ed Bernays convinced architects and builders to include bookshelves in new homes, in order to sell more books. There's a big difference between including them and designing a home around bookshelves, but some bibliophiles have done just that. See thirteen gorgeous interiors dominated by books and the awesome installations and fixtures to store them in at Flavorwire. Link
Phil Plait of Bad Astronomy Blog got a tattoo of a meteor hurtling toward Earth. The process was recorded for the show L.A. Ink, but was cut before it aired. Luckily, the segment was posted on YouTube. Read about how the tat came about at the blog. Link

Speaking of Bad Astronomy, the blog has moved from Discovery magazine to Slate magazine. You can follow Dr. Plait there now. Link
Do you like listening to scary stories around the campfire? Well you may need to provide your own "campfire", but Jezebel's got you covered when it comes to terrifying tales thanks to their reader submitted stories. Browse the comments section of the post found at the link below to see what sort of horror lurks in the mind of Jezebel readers. Have a few terrifying tales of your own to tell? If you think your scary story measures up be sure to share it with Jezebel next year! (some text may be NSFW Link
Where was this video a week ago!? Nick Offerman I needed you then. I caved, I have to admit it. I shaved - my beard was weird. I was probably somewhere in between a dirty hipster and a cheesy adult film actor. Not a good look for me. If only I had known it gets fuller.
To start over or not? Oh, the humanity, these decisions are killing me. How are you guys doing on your Movember challenge? Still going strong or did you cave like I did? For those of you loving it, remember there is life after Movember. Like Decembeard.
Rhett & Link made a music video in split screen, with a contest attached in which you are challenged to spot the differences between the two takes. That gimmick is for their sponsor, who is giving away prizes on Facebook (details at the YouTube link). If you don't want to jump through the necessary hoops to enter, you'll still enjoy the creepy song about common nightmares. -via Geeks Are Sexy
Spain recently raised the value-added-tax (VAT) on cultural activities to 21%, which didn't sit well with theater owners. One theater in Bescanó staged a revolt by using carrots! Theater owner Quim Marcé explains:
"We said, 'This is the end of our theater, and many others.' But then the next morning, I thought, we've got to do something, so that we don't pay this 21 percent, and we pay something more fair," says Marcé in Spanish.

He looked out his window at farmland that surrounds this village, two hours north of Barcelona, and suddenly had an idea: Instead of selling tickets to his shows, he'd sell carrots.

"We sell one carrot, which costs 13 euros [$16] — very expensive for a carrot. But then we give away admission to our shows for free," he explains in Spanish. "So we end up paying 4 percent tax on the carrot, rather than 21 percent, which is the government's new tax rate for theater tickets."

Classified as a staple, carrots are taxed at a much lower rate and were spared new tax hikes that went into effect here on September 1.
Theater patrons love the idea, and bought plenty of carrots. Marcé also has the support of the local mayor, but other officials say the scheme is plainly tax evasion. Link -via Arbroath
The Lightest Metal on Earth
HRL Laboratories collaborating with researchers at Caltech and UC Irvine have developed the lightest metal material yet: it's called microlattice, and it is just what the aerospace industry needs. Microlattice can sit on a dandelion and not crush the seeds, yet it can bear a 50% compression stress load. It's secret is a series of tubes.
The key structural component is a series of hollow tubes. In a study published last November in Science, the researchers exposed a light sensitive liquid to UV light through a patterned mask, which created a three-dimensional photopolymer lattice. They then deposited a layer of nickel-phosphorous onto the polymer lattice, which was then etched. The remaining structure was a macroscopic material with hollow tubes as the base structural elements. The resulting material had a density of .9 mg/cm3. By comparison, ultralight silica aerogels are 1 mg/cm3.
Read more about micro lattice at Popular Science. Link -via the Presurfer
This simple craft requires an oven, a cookie sheet, a pot and a vinyl record. First bake the record until it softens. Then press it over an overturned pot and bake it some more. Then it should be soft enough to shape with your (covered) hands. Video Link -via Foodiggity
Without question, the most misunderstood political campaign song in history is Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A." Used in countless political rallies over the past 25 years, Springsteen's classic rock song is considered by many to be the ultimate "All-American" song. Many fist-pumping, beer-drinking fans at baseball games all over America have sung along with the tune's catchy chorus, not realizing the true meaning of Springsteen's popular tune.
All-American tune? Quite the contrary, Springsteen's song is an angry diatribe against America's treatment of Vietnam veterans. It also deals with the effects the war had on America, and would seem to be, at least partially, about a friend (or friends) of Springsteen's who had been killed serving in the war (although the lyric in question may be hypothetical; see the third verse below).
Born down in a dead man's town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up
Got in a little hometown jam
So they put a rifle in my hand
Sent me off to a foreign land
To go and kill the yellow man
I had a brother at Khe Sahn
Fighting off the Viet Cong
They're still there, he's all gone

He had a woman he loved in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms
"Born in the U.S.A." was initially written in 1981. It was recorded in 1982 in New York. It was to be the first song on the title track of Bruce's Born in the U.S.A. album. The album (and the song, the first written for the album) were both smash hits. The album went multi-platinum, selling 18 million copies. The song became an instant classic, is huge popularity attributed, in part, to the fact that the song is hymn to the greatness of America.
Minecraft 3D Prints
Ever wish the beautiful (or creepy) world you've created in the game Minecraft were real? It can be -just not life size. Minecraft World Exporter is a tool you can use to download the data, then you can upload it to FigurePrints, a 3D printing company who will make your world real. Yesm they do World of Warcraft models and Xbox Live avatars, too. Link -via The Daily What

Cacao, pronounced 'ka-KOW', is the raw, agricultural ingredient used to make chocolate. It is grown in various parts of the world along the Equator, where humid temperatures and jungle-like surroundings provide ideal conditions for growing this colorful fruit. In shades of red, orange, yellow and green, cacao pods sprout from the trunks of cacao trees, and cacao beans (seeds actually) are found inside the pods where a delicate, sweet, fruity pulp surrounds the cacao bean cotyledons (which later become nibs). Cacao pods are harvested throughout the year as they reach optimal ripeness, mainly from October though May.
These new seasonal treats ROCK!
Caramel Apple Softies
1/6th of recipe (1 softie): 142 calories, 3g fat, 125mg sodium, 25.5g carbs, 2g fiber, 11.5g sugars, 3g protein -- PointsPlus® value 4*

Caramel + apple + cookie. What's not to love?
4 cubes chewy caramel (like Kraft Traditional Caramels)
1 cup peeled and finely chopped apple
1/8 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 cup plus 1 1/2 tsp. brown sugar (not packed)
2 tbsp. Splenda No Calorie Sweetener (granulated), or HG Alternative
2 tbsp. light whipped butter or light buttery spread (like Brummel & Brown), room temperature
2 tbsp. no-sugar-added applesauce
2 tbsp. fat-free liquid egg substitute (like Egg Beaters Original)
1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
1/3 cup whole-wheat flour
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/8 tsp. salt
3/4 cup old-fashioned oats

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray.

Vertically cut each caramel cube in half, and cut each half into 3 evenly sized pieces.

In a microwave-safe bowl, sprinkle apple with cinnamon and 1 1/2 tsp. brown sugar, and stir to coat. Microwave for 2 minutes, or until slightly softened. Mix well.

In a medium-large bowl, combine Splenda with remaining 1/4 cup brown sugar. Add butter, applesauce, egg substitute, and vanilla extract, and thoroughly whisk.

Add flour, baking powder, and salt, and stir until smooth. Fold in oats and apple mixture.

Spoon batter onto the sheet in 6 evenly spaced mounds. Use the back of a spoon to spread and flatten into 3-inch circles.

Place 4 caramel pieces on top of each softie, toward the centers.

Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of a softie comes out clean, about 10 minutes.

Enjoy... They're best warm! (Refrigerate leftovers.)

HG Alternative: Swap out the Splenda for the same amount of granulated white sugar, and each softie will have 155 calories, 29.5g carbs, and 15.5g sugars (PointsPlus® value 4*).
World’s First 3D Printing Photo Booth Dispenses A 3D Figure Of You
Taxidermy is an art, but the problem is that so many non-artists think they can do it. The results are sometimes so funny you can't believe they are unintentional. See a collection of hilarious attempts at Uproxx. Link

The Will of the People Has Spoken, and America Died
The End of an Empire
by Dr. Ileana Johnson Paugh - Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Our Constitutional Republic died a peaceful death on November 6, 2012. Having reached the point of no return in a comatose state after years of progressive and illegal immigration assaults, the fabric of conservative society is now completely unraveled and Uncle Sam’s America is no more.

The United States of America is now relegated to the dust bin of history as a “has been” empire. The Shining City on the Hill, the hope of so many millions since July 4, 1776, no longer exists. What rises from the ashes is a country that few of us will recognize, like, or learn to accept submissively.

After 236 years of existence, a new country emerges today, run by secular progressives who rejected our Constitution, what we stand for, and who we are as a nation. The Supreme Court will be forever altered after its last conservative members will be replaced by the liberal academics who call themselves “progressives.” The rule of law will be implemented by Executive Orders, making Congress irrelevant.

The communist motto “Forward” that resonated with so many ignorant Americans will plunge us into many years of darkness from which we will never be able to recover. We have proven our Founding Fathers right, they did give us a Constitutional Republic and we were unable to maintain it.

The forces of the failed communist fundamental transformation that were driven underground in many places around the world, resurfaced with a vengeance in the United States and have now taken over.

How long we will still have freedom of speech, movement, assembly, and control of our private property remains to be seen. Faith and churches will be driven underground; allowing secularism to prosper and take deep roots among the progressives whose God is Mother Earth.

The welfare-dependent Americans, unions, and illegal aliens have chosen for the rest of us the dark path of serfdom to big government and to socialist utopia.

Who would have guessed that the very people who were complaining that the government is not extricating them from disaster or giving them the help they needed in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, would vote for the very politicians who turned their backs on needy Americans after the lights went dark when the political photo opportunities ended?

Who would have guessed that Americans were as ignorant and irresponsible as to choose fiscal destruction over fiscal sanity for their children and grandchildren, secularism and communism over faith, dependence over personal responsibility and self-reliance?

Americans have been protesting for the last four years the dismal state of the economy and the direction of our country, the corruption of our politicians, and the loss of personal and economic freedom.

Rallies in support of conservatism overwhelmed venues for Mitt Romney while rallies for our bumbling President became scarcer and scarcer. Yet, miraculously, at the ballot box, our President won all over the country.

We lost seats in the Senate. Americans chose liars and cheats to be their Senators and Representatives, rejecting those who protected the Constitution. The candidate from Massachusetts who claimed direct American Indian lineage to Pocahontas is now a Senator, having defeated Scott Brown. Representative Allen West lost his seat by a narrow margin to the infamous Wasserman Schultz from Florida .

Americans chose high unemployment, reduction of our military, communist indoctrination of their children, and loss of personal freedoms unlike we have never seen before in this country.

I am saddened by the loss of millions and millions of American soldiers who have died to preserve freedom yet we lost it on November 6, 2012. Those buried in cemeteries around the world and at Arlington must be rolling in their graves today. We shamelessly allowed their sacrifice of blood and treasure to go in vain. We have no honor because we let down all the soldiers who fought in recent times and returned home limbless with lives shattered from physical and mental wounds of war.

I mourn today the loss of my adopted country. I have fought hard over the last four years to prevent its overt and accelerated destruction but the darker forces stronger than many of us have overcome concerted efforts by millions of Americans to maintain the Republic. Mediocrity, sloth, godlessness, dependence, cowardice, using the law selectively or ignoring it, and hopeless corruption will define the new country. Only God can save us now with his mercy and grace.
Thanks Mike
Ask Smithsonian
Q: If the universe began with the Big Bang, with celestial bodies traveling away from the point of origin, can the center of the universe be pinpointed by backtracking their trajectories?
— Glen J. V., Gaines, Michigan

A: The Big Bang wasn't so much an explosion into space as an explosion of space itself. If we were to backtrack the expansion, we would end up with an infinitesimally small point—space itself would disappear, along with the concept of location. Picture a balloon on which we drew little dots to mark galaxies; when we inflate the balloon, all the dots expand away from each other, yet on the two-dimensional balloon surface we cannot pinpoint any center of this expansion.
— Debora Sijacki, Astrophysicist, Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics
You might have seen these amazing images from photographer Suren Manvelyan before. They’re super-closeups of the human eye, revealing the beautiful complexity of our iris. But what are we actually seeing? What makes our eye look like a desert landscape?
The Top 10 Greatest Survivors of Evolution
Travel back millions of years in your time machine and you’d find some of these species thriving and looking much as they do today
Think Fast
Which of these animals can survive the longest without drinking water?
  1. Camel
  2. Kangaroo Rat
  3. Giraffe
  4. Meerkat
(Think Fast Answer: Kangaroo Rat) Humans can last 3-4 days without water. Camels can last up to 15 days. A tiny kangaroo rat, living in Death Valley, can survive its entire life (3-5 years) without taking a sip of water.
White House Contact Info:
When a magnitude 6.8 earthquake shook Olympia, Wash., in 2001, shopowner Jason Ward discovered that a sand-tracing pendulum had recorded the vibrations in the image above.
Seismologists say that the "flower" at the center reflects the higher-frequency waves that arrived first; the outer, larger-amplitude oscillations record the lower-frequency waves that arrived later.
"You never think about an earthquake as being artistic -- it's violent and destructive," Norman MacLeod, president of Gaelic Wolf Consulting in Port Townsend, told ABC News. "But in the middle of all that chaos, this fine, delicate artwork was created."

Selections From the Scholastic Aptitude Preparatory Test (the S.A.P.)

1. Which of the following is the correct answer to this question?
a. b. c. d. e. none of the above

2. ingot:bleak :: ingot:_______
a. tepid b. gold c. oak d. bolonga e. bleak

3. pork:algae :: green:_______
a. six b. five c. ten d. marble e. red

4. mugger:park :: king:_______
a. castle b. burger c. queen d. Jacuzzi e. bleak


Read the following carefully and answer the questions below.

In addition to the obvious effects of solar activity on the upper
atmosphere, some scientists contend that it also affects the
weather. These contentions, however, are for the most part
unconfirmed and some are very dubious. Even further afield, a
British researcher on epidemiology claimed last year that "the
periods of world dominance of successive major subtypes of influenza
virus have synchronized closely with the periodicity of sunspots."
Correlatons of biomedical phenomenon with solar activity, such as
this one, are generally not taken seriously by most Western scintists.
Many researchers in the Soviet Union, however, do believe in such
possibilites, including even a correlation of sunspots with outbreaks
of plague-spreading rodents in central Asia.

1. In what lanuage is the British researcher speaking?
a. Japanese b. Urdu c. Bengali d. British e. Media

2. The term "most Western" means
a. Hawaii b. John Ford's longest film c. nothing d. correct

3. A conclusion that could be drawn from this passage is
a. Russian scientists are idiots and Russia is full of rats
b. The sun has sunspots
c. Don't ask a question of a British researcher if you want an answer
d. all of the above


1. Which of the following is a number?
a. blue b. Jacques Cousteau c. watermelon d. John Doe e. 5

2. If Juan is fourteen and weighs 150 pounds, and Grover is nine
and weighs 70 pounds, what is the probability that Juan can
get anything he wants from Grover?
a. 0% b. 100% c. a and b d. a only e. b only

3. Delbert McBumm wants to pawn a hundred-dollar watch. The
pawnbroker gives him eleven dollars for it and then sells it
for a hundred and twenty-five. What was the relative rate of
mark-up in the watch in relation to half of its worth, if the
worth is calculated at three-quarters the difference between
the pawnbrokers's offer and 78% of Delbert's assessment of the
watch's value?
a. 100 b. 50 c. 75 d. 115 e. none of the above

/\50 6/\
5. Calculate the shaded area 6/ \__/ \2
of the figure at the right. / 2 |
a. 0 b. 50% c. c only \ /\ |
d. the answer is a 9\ /7 \ |10
e. go back, it's a \/ 8\__|

6. Grant McSwine is a repairman. If he tells Mr. White that it
will take him about 10 hours to do a specific job, how long will
it really take him?
a. six weeks b. half an hour c. about three hundred dollars longer
d. not enough information because the type of repair is not indicated.


In the following questions you are asked to compare two quantities.
These quantities may be equal, or one may be bigger, or neither.
On your answer sheet choose a if b is bigger, choose b if a and b
are equal, choose c if a is bigger, choose d if neither one is
bigger, choose e if both are bigger, choose f if the answer cannot
be determined from the information given, choose g if you have no

a. 2 b. 15
a. the area of a circle b. the area of a square
whose area is 10 whose area is 10
a. my dad b. your dad
a. New York City b. Limpid, Iowa
a. something b. nothing
a. a mountain b. a molehill



At 17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25 "Split the check before we go back to my place"
35 "Just come over."
48 "Just come over and cook."
66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.

The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

"The Harvard Law states: Under controlled conditions of light, temperature,
humidity, and nutrition, the organism will do as it damn well pleases."
"There's more than one way to do it."-- The Perl Slogan

"It's a good thing there's more than one way to do it because most of them don't work."-- The Windows Perl Slogan
"Lamb says somewhere that if, of three friends (A, B, and C), A should die, then B loses not only A but 'A's part in C,' while C loses not only A but 'A's part in B.' In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out." -- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves, 1960
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.
George Carlin
Mirror Mirror

Mirror, mirror on the bathroom wall,
My image therein is much too small.

Once I was handsome with wavy curls,
I was even the envy of some of the girls.

Now it seems a midget has taken my place,
You have given me a different ugly face.

Not much left of my curly head of hair,
I am sure that you decidedly do not care.

You know it is not fair at all,
That makes a man like me look fat and small.

I think that I shall sell the mirror on the wall,
The face therein is not like me at all.
Remembering Neft Dashlari, Stalin’s utopian ocean city made from oil and steel
Remembering Neft Dashlari, Stalin’s utopian ocean city made from oil and steel
13.7 billion years ago, the universe was born. 12 billion years ago, a star exploded. Now, we’ve seen its light.
Neil deGrasse Tyson found Krypton, Superman’s home planet.
Super Tesla Gun, by Steve Ward - [geek tech]
... And How to Build One - [Tesla Coil Design, full manual]

Newer U.S. cities that have had room to "spread out" tend to have fewer (and smaller) skyscrapers. The tallest building in Phoenix, the sixth-most-populous American city with 1.5 million inhabitants, is only 40 stories tall.

Chinese architects have been reaching for the sky over the last two decades. In 1988, none of the nation's buildings ranked in the top 20 worldwide. Today, China claims 10 of the 20 tallest skyscrapers on the planet.

Besides the Sears Tower, Chicago is home to three other buildings more than 1,000 feet tall: the Aon Center, the John Hancock Center, and the AT&T Corporate Center. A fourth, Two Prudential Plaza, misses the cut by only 5 feet.

Laws dictate that no structure in the District of Columbia can stand taller than the 555-foot-tall Washington Monument.

When viewing a list of the 20 tallest buildings on Earth, the Empire State Building stands out because of its age. The structure was completed in 1931, nearly 40 years before the next-oldest skyscraper on the list.

The height of the Empire State Building stretches from 1,250 feet to 1,455 feet when you include its antenna. At the very top is a mast that was intended to anchor dirigibles but was never used for that purpose.
Good sausage
"I do not believe that any man fears to be dead, but only the stroke of death." -- Francis Bacon
One day [A.J. Conant] asked Mr. Lincoln how he became interested in the law. 'It was Blackstone's "Commentaries" that did it,' said Mr. Lincoln, and then he related how he first happened on the books. 'I was keeping store in New Salem, when one day a man who was migrating to the West drove up with a wagon which contained his family and household plunder. He asked me if I would buy an old barrel for which he had no room in his wagon, and which he said contained nothing of special value. I did not want it, but to oblige him I bought it and paid him, I think, half a dollar. Without further examination I put it away in the store and forgot all about it. Sometime after, in overhauling things, I came upon the barrel and emptied its contents upon the floor. I found at the bottom of the rubbish a complete edition of Blackstone's "Commentaries." I began to read those famous works, and I had plenty of time, for during the long summer days, when the farmers were busy with their crops, my customers were few and far between. The more I read' -- this he said with unusual emphasis -- 'the more intensely interested I became. Never in my whole life was my mind so thoroughly absorbed. I read until I devoured them.' ...
-- Ida M. Tarbell, Selections From the Letters, Speeches, and State Papers of Abraham Lincoln, 1911
Up Goer Five
Up Goer Five

The wolf spider is the only species of spider that carries its offspring this way - live, hatched and wriggling on her back! After a gestation of 9 to 27 days (dependant on temperature) during which the eggs are carried around in a silk globe attached to the mothers stomach, the offspring hatch and climb on to her back. They stay there until they're ready to hunt alone. Story via ScienceAlert.

A pretty young gal from Hong Kong
Said "I think you are utterly wrong
To say my vagina's
the largest in China
Just because of your mean little dong!"
Agogo bells
~ the newest addition to my collection of musical instruments
The Lion sleeps tonight FULL hippo and dog dancing and singing - Hippo Singer
Thanks, Cindy
Portlandia: Now Available In Book
Introducing the best show that not that many but sort of a few people know about... ladies and gentlemen - Portlandia! Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein are still at it, promoting Portlandia with a their new book! You can buy it on Amazon if you like, where it says “printed on 130% recycled paper in a peanut-free, smoke-free plant by local workers in a friendly and fair environment, free of sudden noises and unnatural light.” Oh Portlandia, how I love you. Check out more images and info here.
Thinking of visiting Portlandia? Discover all that this magical, dreamy city has to offer with PORTLANDIA: A Guide for Visitors. Inside you’ll find:
A comprehensive guide to all restaurants and food carts, including extensive use of symbols to signify Vegan, Freegan, Sea-gan, Wheelchair-Accessible, Skateboard-Accessible, Segway-Accessible, Clothing Optional, Polyamorous, LGBTQ, Dog-Friendly (No cats), Cat-Friendly (No dogs or mice) Mouse-Friendly (No cats or elephants), For Dogs (only), Regionally-Sourced Food, Regionally-Sourced Waitstaff, and House-Sourced Food (Born/dies on plate).
A guide for dogs and dog owners, including a detailed map of the numerous dog parks the city has to offer. Very numerous and passionately maintained.
An up-to-date guide to shopping, schools, and entertainment.
A city activities guide for older adults who are stuck in perpetual early twentysomething-dom.
A guide for getting around, either by foot, or by bicycle, the official car of Portlandia. Featured also are the 9 official bicycle rules of the road, drawn up by Spyke and his bike comrades. Not to be ignored!
Want to serve some Elven Lembas Bread (from Lord of The Rings) for appetizers at your Christmas party? How about Butterbeer (Harry Potter) to celebrate the New Year? Now you can! Check out this entire list of fantastically geeky foods you can cook at home. Want Slurm? Why not Zoidberg?
There is even a list of 10 Butterbeer recipes.
Did you know there’s a place where you can learn just about anything you’d like? It’s true! It’s called YOU TUBE!!! Sure, YouTube has hundreds of thousands of hours of deliciously time-wasting content, but it’s a whole lot more than just a black hole of pet videos and FAIL clips. If you know where to go, YouTube has some of the best educational content on the planet! And although watching Kahn Academy all day might be a bit dry, the creativity of YouTube creators has allowed “education” to be transformed in variety of amazing and engaging ways. YouTube probably won’t replace schools anytime soon, but it’s a pretty rad alternative. So time to stop watching cat videos and get your learn on! By the pbsideachannel
Congratulations to Laughing Squid on the site's 17th anniversary! As a gift, artist Yiying Lu, who you may know as the artist behind Fail Whale, made this poster. Laughing Squid also posted some relevant links to celebrate the site's evolution since 1995. Link
The fascinating neurological differences between listening and hearing,
how our bodies automatically filter the surprising or important from the background, and what our modern digital age may mean for our listening abilities. Fascinating stuff from the NY Times:
This is because hearing has evolved as our alarm system — it operates out of line of sight and works even while you are asleep. And because there is no place in the universe that is totally silent, your auditory system has evolved a complex and automatic “volume control,” fine-tuned by development and experience, to keep most sounds off your cognitive radar unless they might be of use as a signal that something dangerous or wonderful is somewhere within the kilometer or so that your ears can detect. This is where attention kicks in.
Take a moment and listen to your surroundings. Coworkers talking, machines whirring, air conditioning humming, printer printing, dogs barking … you can voluntarily pick out any number of sounds when you focus on that input. The real mindbender is that your brain is always listening to those noises, but it doesn’t trigger you to consciously hear unless it is startling or out of the ordinary. Chew on that for a while … the idea that we are always listening but rarely hearing is pretty freakin’ cool.
A Cardiod, a lovely mathsy heart shape, can be constructed as shown in the animation as the combination of many circles generated from a single underlying circle. This shape describes the sensitivity regions of many directional microphones. [more] [code] Lovemath for those who love math!(via scinerds)
Trivia Tidbit:
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.
Not sure how they know this but when a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go.
The first sense lost is sight.
No limits to what u can accomplish
Best not to mention that Chewie misspelled "Wookiee" in his business card. After all, he's got a bad temper and is liable to tear your arms off if you tell him he's a bad speller. Take a look at this and more Star Wars business cards over at Bit Rebels: Link- via The Mary Sue
If you thought that the airport full body scanner is bad, there's a new level of indignity awaiting you at the airport security screening line: being sniffed by mice.
Israeli company BioExplorers has developed a system that employs a group of mice trained to detect the smells of suspicious material:
"The idea began in 2000-2001, when there were many suicide bombings on (Israeli) buses," said BioExplorers founder and chief technology officer Eran Lumbroso at the Israel Homeland Security exhibition in Tel Aviv, where he displayed his mechanism for the first time.
"I was in the army at the time, and the idea emerged to use small animals instead of dogs in detecting suicide bombers." [...]
Mice were eventually chosen because of their keen noses and diminutive size. [...] "They have a very developed sense of smell, more than that of dogs," he said, pointing out that sniffer dogs can also be intrusive and sometimes intimidating to their subjects.
"The mice can also be easily trained, and thanks to their small size, you can use a small group of them and have multiple sensors," says Lumbroso.
Whatever you do, don't ever bring cheese on board the airplane! The Telegraph has the story: Link- via Arbroath
Soccer ART is a "professional freestyle football group" that takes the definition of juggling and stretches it to the limit. talk about mad skills! -via Buzzfeed
Now THIS is a Great Family Photo!
Photographer Martin Bennett of Swindon, Wiltshire, England, took this fantastic photo of mom, dad, and the three kids (how does he get the baby to sit still like that?): Link
Any person in want of a DEAD PIG may find one, that will probably answer his purpose, in the middle of Broadway, between Broome and Spring Streets. Applicants need not be in any great haste, as it is expected that he will lie there several days; and if the warm weather should last, and the carriages will let him alone, he will grow -- bigger and bigger. -- New York Daily Advertiser, 1822
You can know the name of a bird in all the languages of the world, but when you’re finished, you’ll know absolutely nothing whatever about the bird… So let’s look at the bird and see what it’s doing—that’s what counts. I learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something.
Richard Feynman
The difference between “learning” and “learning” is important to understand.
Work by Jason Padgett, a man with Acquired Savant Syndrome who now sees all of reality as mathematical fractals describable by equations.
The beauty of numbers and their connection to the pure geometry of space time and the universe is shown in his fractal diagrams…He is currently studying how all fractals arise from limits and how E=MC2 is itself a fractal. When he first started drawing he had no traditional math training and could only draw what he saw as math. Eventually a physicist saw his drawings and helped him get traditional mathematics training to be able to describe in equations the complex geometry of his drawings. He is currently a student studying mathematics in Washington state where he is learning traditional mathematics so he can better describe what he sees in a more traditional form. Many of the captions were written before he had any traditional math training. His drawing of E=MC^2 is based on the structure of space time at the quantum level and is based on the concept that there is a physical limit to observation which is the Planck length. It shows how at the smallest level, the structure of space time is a fractal…So sit back and enjoy the beauty of naturally occuring mathematics in pure geometric form connecting E=MC2 (energy) to art. All are HAND DRAWN using only a pencil, ruler and compass. Source:
The evolution of laughter.
The evolution of laughter.
Instant Egghead - Are We Facing the Sixth Mass Extinction?
According to the United Nations, we are losing about 200 species per day—a thousand times the normal background rate of extinction. How does this stack up to previous mass extinctions? Scientific American editor Fred Guterl explains. by Scientific American.
We’re losing species at an alarming rate. Here’s a look at how that compares to previous mass extinctions. Unlike those extinctions of the past, we have evolved enough to do something about species conservation today.
Have you heard that certain meats taste much better when their respective animals live stress free lives? I am sure you have. But what about when their respective animals live diving lives? A farmer in China's Hunan province is claiming that his bacon tastes better because of his diving pigs.
Huang Demin built a 3 meter tall platform and pushes his hesitant pigs overboard, daily, into the river. Not really diving, more free falling but you get the picture. According to him the act helps improve their immunity to disease and improves the quality of the pork. While it may be hard to substantiate this claim, his economical incentives are proving their worth. Diving pig pork gets a diving pig price, Huang sells his stuff for three times above normal market value. -Via Arbroath
You've probably heard by now that Hostess, the company that manufactures Twinkies, HoHos, and Wonder Bread is going out of business. They filed for bankruptcy in January, and filed a court request for liquidation this week. The loss of Twinkles is a particularly hard blow for junk food junkies, and folks across the internet wasted no time in sharing their grief. Ranker has gathered the best reaction Tweets, image macros, and videos for your sharing pleasure. Link
Meet the 750-leg Millipede
There are around 10,000 species of millipedes, but the one with the most legs of all is Illacme plenipes. It was thought to be extinct, but 17 living specimens were discovered in the past seven years ago in San Benito County, California, by Paul Marek of the University of Arizona and his team.
The rareness of the millipede meant that from 1928 until 2005—when Marek, then a Ph.D. student, found a few specimens in the woods near San Juan Bautista—most scientists had simply assumed the species had gone extinct. Over the past seven years, Marek and his colleagues have taken several trips to the area, typically searching for hours before finding a single specimen clinging to the side of a boulder or tunneling four to six inches down into the ground.

In studying these specimens under a microscope, Marek has discovered a number of surprising characteristics that go beyond its legs. ”It basically looks like a thread,” Marek told LiveScience. “It has an uninteresting outward appearance, but when we looked at it with SEM [scanning electron microscopes] and compound microscopes, we found a huge, amazingly complex anatomy.”
Complex anatomy, indeed, as the millipede has no eyes and produces silk! See closeups of the unusual features and read about the strange bug at Smithsonian's Surprising Science blog. Link
Rockland Ranch in Utah is home to a community of fundamentalist Mormons who practice plural marriage. They carved their homes out of a solid rock sandstone cliff beginning 35 years ago. The homes are not like living in a cave, as they have water, power, and modern amenities. See pictures of the community of "The Rock" at the Atlantic. Link -via mental_floss
Whenever you're called on to make up your mind
And you're hampered by not having any,
The best way to solve the dilemma, you'll find,
Is simply by flipping a penny.
No, not so that chance shall decide the affair
While you're passively standing there moping;
But the moment the penny is up in the air
You suddenly know what you're hoping.
-- Piet Hein
The prequel everyone's been waiting for: Gotham City's super heroes and villains in high school! Which future Dark Knight Trilogy character will get the girl in this teen romance? -via Geeks Are Sexy
Mad Skills is a place to highlight people who amaze us with the things they do. People all over the world excel in entertainment, sports, jobs, science, exploration, and some activities we wouldn't even consider trying ourselves, but we can see them at Mad Skills. Warning: jaws may drop.
In a book excerpt, Adrienne Crezo asked the question Can You Blow a Doughnut-Shaped Soap Bubble?
Mental_floss magazine brought The Who's Tommy.
A Little History of Science: Uncovering the Human Body from A Little History of Science by William Bynum.
Helen Keller: Vaudeville Star from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader.
God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut, in honor of the late author's 90th birthday.
A super awesome infographic of the best selling Sci Fi books of all time
Neatolicious is about food. And drink. And news about food and drink. And the history of food and drink. At least some of it is delicious, but all of it is neat! Come join us at Neatolicious for recipes, clever and awesome decorations, funny food, culinary news, and more.
Fennec Foxes Are Fantastically Fascinating
Image Via Apex Design [Flickr]
While it's easy to think that the fennec fox's giant eyes and massive ears were all part of a genius plan to make them too utterly adorable to resist -the reality is that this utmost cuteness is just a side effect of their many desert-friendly adaptations. You see, living in one of the most extreme environments on earth, the Sarah Desert, isn't easy.
While the fennec fox is the smallest canid in the world, they happen to have the largest ears of all varieties of foxes. These impossibly huge ears aren't just there to make them look cartoonish, and while they are sensitive enough to help the critters hear small prey moving underground, that still isn't their primary function. No, those giant ears are actually designed mainly to help the fennecs dissapate heat from their bodies easier.
As for their massive eyes, well, those help them see in the dark, as being nocturnal means they can sleep in their dens during the day -thus keeping out of the warm sunlight. The dens are also beneficial as the foxes get most of their water through their food, but their burrows also gather dew overnight, providing them with an additional water source.
Even their fur is specially adapted to help them cope with the extreme weather. At night, it helps keep them warm and during the day, it reflects and insulates them from the sun. Their feet are even covered with fur, which prevents them from scorching on the hot desert sand and also makes it easier for them to walk on the sand -kind of like built-in snow shoes.
While little is known about their survival status in the wild, scientists speculate that they are doing well, given how often they are spotted by visitors to their local habitat. Of course, it probably isn't hurting that they are one of the handful of creatures with an expanding natural environment, as the Sahara continues to grow around 30 miles per year.
Microscopic landscapes created using various crystalline chemical compounds. Check out the entire collection here.
Wow. Crystal Planet! Stunning application of chemistry.
What would happen if an meteor or asteroid the size of ______________, made of ______________, hit Earth at a speed of ______________?
There’s a web app for that. Check out Purdue’s Impact: Earth!
Have fun destroying the planet!!! (And learning about asteroid impacts of various sizes and energies, of course)
10 lazy rules
"Should I munch on this one delicious piece of kibble or should I save it?" Poor little mango, she has so many hard choices in her life. Via Cute Overload
Our Story in One Minute
Video Credit & Copyright: MelodySheep, Symphony of Science, John Boswell; Music Credit: Our Story
Explanation: Could you tell the story of human existence in a minute? This thrilling video culls together multiple teasing snippets in an attempt to do just that. And sets it to music. Briefly depicted, from start to finish, is an artistic animation of the Big Bang, a trip across the early universe, the formation of the Earth and Moon, the emergence of multi-celled life and plants, the rise of reptiles and dinosaurs, a devastating meteor strike, the rise of mammals and humans, and finally the rise of modern civilization. The minute movie ends with a flyover of the modern skyscraper and a human standing atop a snow covered mountain. The above video is the latest from the Symphony of Science project.
From the classic Disney film "The Lion King" comes the classic hit "Can You Feel The Love Tonight."
A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other.
"So what's going on here?" he asks.
The bikie replies "My mate here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him vomit."
The cop says "I think you should be sticking your fingers down his THROAT!"
The bikie replies "That's what I'm going to do next!"
Why do Farts stink?
So that Deaf people can enjoy them too.
"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." --- Baroness Edith Summerskill
Why Coke Cost A Nickel For 70 Years
Coca-Cola began to be sold in glass bottles in the last years of the 19th century -for five cents, the same price the fountain servings had been for years. Those bottled Cokes sold for a nickel until 1959! Oh, it wasn't because the company just wanted to keep the price all that time, but circumstances made raising the price difficult.
The Coca-Cola vending machines were built to take a single coin: a nickel.

Levy says the folks at Coca-Cola thought about converting the vending machines to take a dime. But doubling the price was too much. They wanted something in between.

So they asked the U.S. Treasury to issue a 7.5-cent coin. At one point, the head of Coca-Cola asked President Eisenhower for help. (They were hunting buddies.) No luck.
There were other factors involved, which you can read about at WEKU. Link -via Metafilter
Quick, get the insulin! You might die from the sweetness of 18 ragdoll kittens from four litters playing with day-old hatchling ducks. And then they put that song on top. Feel free to send this to someone who needs a smile. -via Daily of the Day
Squirrels dancing to trap music. Who knew the little rodents were so hip! -via Daily of the Day
It's an ocelot! For those of you who haven't heard of an ocelot, they are dwarf leopards from the Central America / Texas / South America region. For the artistic or wealthy they can be pets, Salvador Dali had one named Babou. They love to make cameos on the TV show Archer (NSFW - Language). Also they are cute, very cute.
Computer Eleanor Rigby
Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Guru MacKenzie
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
It takes a while...

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Eleanor Rigby
Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
Feels like a jerk.
Guru MacKenzie
Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code;
Nothing will load.

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
The guy who gave Darth Vader his voice reads Edgar Allen Poe's classic poem The Raven, and his booming baritone has ruined all further readings of the poem forevermore. When James Earl Jones reads something, it stays read! --via Gizmodo
That's it folks, I am never eating another hot dog again. Thanks internet, you already ruined chicken nuggets for me. I grew up hearing that urban myth "they just throw all the scraps" into hot dogs but I never thought anything of it. This is by far worse. That blob of food... well, I am done. No more hot dogs. Not now, not ever.
Seventy-two year old Liu Xianping was just trying to help out his granddaughter and her clothing store, Yuekou. He posed wearing the shop's fashions, and has become an internet sensation in China. You have to admit he's got the legs for it!
"Why unacceptable (for someone like me to wear women’s clothes? Modelling for the store is helping my granddaughter and I have nothing to lose. We were very happy on the day of the shooting. I’m very old and all that I care about is to be happy."
People love seeing Liu. The store's business has increased fivefold since Liu's pictured appeared on its website. Link -via reddit
10 Things You Didn’t Know About Steven Spielberg
You probably know quite a bout about Steven Spielberg, the director of Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, E.T., Schindler's List, and the new movie Abraham Lincoln. But there are still surprising things about him that I never suspected. Sis you know producer Cubby Broccoli rejected Spielberg twice when he tried for a position directing James Bond films?
According to Broccoli’s daughter Barbara who took over the producer role following her father’s death, Spielberg first got a chance to meet Albert just as he was starting to get his foot in the door of the film industry. Broccoli liked the young lad’s passion and drive but felt he didn’t have enough experience. Barbara said his father told the young Spielberg, “Kid, ya gotta get some more [films] under your belt.” Then just after Spielberg released one of his greatest films, ‘Schindler’s List,’ he sent a letter to Broccoli asking again if he could direct a Bond movie. Broccoli turned him down again by replying, “Now I can’t afford you.”
Read more interesting trivia about Steven Spielberg at The FW. Link

Top 60 Disney Songs

Before you watch this video make sure that your captions are on i made a mistake on one of the selections but the pop up caption corrects this. Us and a friend of ours have compiled of what we believe are the 60 best Disney songs of all time! We had a three way tie for #1 because we couldn't come to an agreement! If you have any thoughts please share below. Thanks and Enjoy!
A diver off the coast of New Zealand spotted four killer whales and quickly scrambled onto the rocks for safety. A nearby Labrador Retriever was not as attentive. One whale closed in for an easy lunch....
Whoa here she comes
In the game Furiosity, the object is apparently to click and turn all the blocks into a different color for each level. It only begins to get difficult about level four, and then it gets very difficult for further levels. Good luck! Link -via the Presurfer
This is more of a true story than it appears. In 1939, Franklin Roosevelt changed Thanksgiving from the last Thursday in November to the next-to-the-last Thursday, in order to give retailers a longer Christmas shopping season. It was only in December of 1941 that congress set the date of Thanksgiving to the fourth Thursday in November, which can occur as early as the 22nd (like this year) or as late as November 28th. Link
The Hans Brinker Budget Hotel in Amsterdam is a $22-a-night hostel that fills up every night, possibly due to its strange advertising strategy. The website admits that its accommodation are not luxurious, or even satisfactory. The disclaimer says:
Legal note: The Hans Brinker Budget Hotel does offer cheap accommodation in Amsterdam but cheap accommodation herein describes ‘inexpensive relative to others in the sector’ but not (under hotel regulations & guides the Netherlands brief #4569. 67887. 89) ‘good’ accommodation or indeed ‘pleasant,’ ‘hygienic’ accommodation or any derivation thereof. Those wishing to stay at the Hans Brinker Budget Hotel, Amsterdam, do so at their own risk and will not hold the hotel liable for food poisoning, mental breakdowns, terminal illness, lost limbs, radiation poisoning, certain diseases associated with the 18th century, plague, etcetera.
There's even a section on their website titled "Apologies." It contains the hotel's funny advertisements. Link -via the Presurfer
In this photo made available by the Saarland State Police in Germany on Friday Nov. 16, 2012, shows a vehicle with its interior wired up like a mobile office, that Saarland State police stopped on the autobahn near Saarbruecken Germany on Monday Nov. 12, 2012.
Forget texting while driving. German police say they nabbed a driver who had wired his Ford station wagon with an entire mobile office. Saarland state police said Friday the 35-year-old man was pulled over for doing 130 km/h (81 mph) in a 100 km/h (62 mph) zone while passing a truck Monday. Built on a wooden frame on his passenger seat they found a laptop on a docking station tilted for easy driver access, a printer, router, wireless internet stick, WLAN antenna, and an inverter to power it all. A navigation system and cellphone mounted to the windshield completed the array.
Since there wasn’t evidence he used the office while moving, he got away with a euro120 ($153) speeding ticket and possible fine for having unsecured items in his car.
Morning wood
The Science of ‘Morning Wood’
Hey folks, I’m here to point you to all the hard science. Wood you say you are firm in your post-slumber erectile understanding? Bone up on your biology with AsapSCIENCE!!!
A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and says,"So, what does this cost ??!!".
And the hooker replies,"25 dollars !!".
And the Pollock said ,"Hmm, that's not a lot of money for insulated windows !!".
Slovenia's state-run news agency reported on the death of 'passionate' fisherman Franc Filipic, 47, who drowned after hooking a huge lake sheatfish (like a catfish) and refusing to let go as he waded in and was pulled under. Friends reported his last words were 'NOW I've got him!'
Divers found his body after a two-day search.
The Friskies Awards
Friskies cat food held a competition for the best cat videos on the internet. Over 1400 videos were submitted, and the grand prize was awarded in a ceremony Wednesday night in Los Angeles, featuring cat music and a ballet dancer portraying Nyan Cat. But you won't be surprised by who won.
And the winner of the first-ever Friskies award was Mick Szydlowski for his video, "Oskar's First Toys." Oskar is a cat born without eyes, and Mick and his girlfriend, Bethany, captured video of the newborn cat playing with a toy ball.

Szydlowski received a year's supply of cat food and a check for $15,000, which he says will be used to buy toys for Oskar and to help pay for their upcoming move from Omaha, Neb., to Seattle.

"It's an incredible feeling," Szydlowski told Yahoo News. "Cats deserve a show like this. And Oskar deserves some of the winnings, maybe all of the winnings.

"Oskar is completely blind, but he doesn't let that slow him down one bit," Szydlowski said. "He's healthy, he's happy, he does everything a regular cat would do."

Szydlowski says he hopes all the attention his Oskar videos have received will help convince people that cats with disabilities can still make great pets. "A lot of people assume it's a death sentence, which is not the case," he said.
Friskies also donated 250,000 cans of cat food to shelters in conjunction with the award. Read more about the competition and the ceremony at Yahoo News. Link
See the videos that made it to the final round. Link
See Oskar's First Toys. Link
Puns for Educated Minds
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan Island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.'The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. Then there was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.No pun in ten did.


  1. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

  2. Are you paying over $5 per pack of cigarettes? I'm buying my cigs over at Duty Free Depot and this saves me over 60% from cigarettes.